Overcoming Being Judgemental

Originally Posted by maggie2

So how do you deal with people who judge others and point fingers at them without you pointing your finger at those doing the judging? I do not want to be judgemental so want to find out how to overcome this challenge.

What's the real question, is it one of rules and the consequences if you break them or is it a matter of conscience? I wonder if Martin Luther King had this dilemma, or Mother Teresa or... You get the idea. We should judge, we should look at things and decide for ourselves if it's right or wrong. How we deal with that judgement is important, not the judgement itself. So if you don't judge and allow it to perpetuate because of your inaction, what then? Inaction makes you complicit.

What does your heart tell you?

[excusemydust]

I'm chiming in with an agreement to what several here have already said: there is nothing inherently wrong with judgment; it's how you react to that initial thought that matters. Most of us have countless judgmental thoughts on a daily basis--they pass through, not making much of an impression. The answer isn't to squash them, but to question them: why are you judging these other people, and what does this judgment mean to you?

[davidsun]

Just want to recommend this site https://www.howtoforgivepeople.com as being of posssible interest.

Though not to the exact issue, it present stuff which I think relates in a general way to what's being discussed here.

Sample links on the a home page:

| How to overcome emotional dependency

| How to accept things

| How to stop hating everyone

Originally Posted by excusemydust

I'm chiming in with an agreement to what several here have already said: there is nothing inherently wrong with judgment; it's how you react to that initial thought that matters. Most of us have countless judgmental thoughts on a daily basis--they pass through, not making much of an impression. The answer isn't to squash them, but to question them: why are you judging these other people, and what does this judgment mean to you?

The secret is definitions, and judgement is a definition. Add to that a touch of 'the Spiritual thing to do' and it all becomes very silly very quickly. There is always going to be judgement, people judge if that's a bargain in the supermarket, they judge if this stranger is worth talking to or not. They judge themselves as Spiritual and therefore others 'non-Spiritual', and on it goes from there. This whole thread is about the purely Spiritual way of condemning judgement then self-flagellating by going through all these rituals of reading books and purging the non-Spiritual.

The problem lies not in the judgement itself but in what happens afterwards, and if that means discrimination that is the time for 'purging rituals'. Treating people differently because they've been judged as not Spiritual is discrimination too.

The answer is simple; they're not judgements they're dichotomies and they show us contrasts.

Originally Posted by davidsun

Just want to recommend this site https://www.howtoforgivepeople.com as being of posssible interest.

Though not to the exact issue, it present stuff which I think relates in a general way to what's being discussed here.

Sample links on the a home page:

| How to overcome emotional dependency

| How to accept things

| How to stop hating everyone

You don't need to forgive people who bring you lessons and remind you that your Christ Consciousness still is a work in progress. And the Universe says you're most welcome and to keep taking the meds.

[SeekerOfKnowledge]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

You don't need to forgive people who bring you lessons and remind you that your Christ Consciousness still is a work in progress. And the Universe says you're most welcome and to keep taking the meds.

Maybe one should rephrase "forgive". "Making your peace with people and things" maybe is more like it...
Yes, and there is a point. Sometimes something that felt harmful at first later turns out to have been a valuable lesson. In that case, there is nothing to forgive and we should be even grateful.

Interesting thread and thoughts, thank you all.

Originally Posted by SeekerOfKnowledge

Maybe one should rephrase "forgive". "Making your peace with people and things" maybe is more like it...
Yes, and there is a point. Sometimes something that felt harmful at first later turns out to have been a valuable lesson. In that case, there is nothing to forgive and we should be even grateful.

Interesting thread and thoughts, thank you all.

But what are you making peace with? Keep peeling the layers back. In the most uncomplicated of terms, this is a Journey to Self and your experiences show you just what that self is in those given circumstances. What you do with it is up to you. Trying to live up to some Spiritual ideal isn't viable because we're human, wanting to slap someone while telling yourself that turning the other cheek is the self-righteous thing to do only messes with your head. Literally. it's called cognitive dissonance.

In the moment be who you are, provided you don't shoot them because that would be silly. That moment will pass, like every other moment does. Learn the lesson, forgive (although learning the lessons negates the need for forgiveness, forgiveness is blame-based) and be grateful if that's you thing and move on. In time that becomes your paradigm, it becomes who and what you are and it becomes automatic. When it becomes automatic it doesn't mean any less because you're not mindful of it, it means you've made it a part of yourself. When that happens you're more free to become mindful of something else.

[Alfor]

Originally Posted by Hemera

Just lost a post due to the forum being too busy...grrr.

The short version is...I witness judgment in myself and see that it's usually about something I don't feel I'm getting but I want; it's a kind of bitterness. Other people may judge because they don't like who they are but instead of being conscious of that, they don't like others for who they are as a way of reaffirming themselves. Judgement usually stems from fear or pain.

As others have said,judgement is also about discernment and can lead to positive action. Judgement which condems others is something that needs closer inspection to understand what the judgement is pointing to in the person doing the judging, with gentle awareness and non attachment.

For me, trying to remain mindful and accepting of who I am, including the darker thoughts and feelings, is the way forward. I try not to identify with any particular way of being and think 'that's me', instead I witness it all and accept it's how mind is at this point in my development and the same is true for everyone else.

Thank you Hemera for taking the time to repost. A very insightful and helpful post.