My family pick on me...?

[MIND POWER]

Sometimes when people see potential in you, this is sometimes how they can behave! to maybe kind of soften your threat in their own minds.

And i believe parents know potential when they see it, maybe that's what it is! i am not a parent, but i guess sometimes parents can be envious of their children maybe...

You are only a young girl and you have critics already, so you must be doing something right! the question is..? if you are being spoken to a certain way (Which you dislike), do try and defend yourself..? Yes but maybe not in such a direct manner. Like be witty and dismissive (Like most women are), this kind of nullifies what they are trying to do! But all of these sort of approaches kind of waste energy.....

So if you are good at ignoring people, maybe you can just do that..haha. Yes! so swerve and it don't waste your mental/emotional energy! because sometimes the things you focus on, and try to fight.........you become!

So i think you should just ignore them, and carry on as normal! focus focus on what you want, and spread your wings.

The worlds your oyster! Don't be distracted by this situation.

[linen53]

Originally Posted by Clover

Raise your voice, you matter, and your words matter.

I love this! Women aren't taught to speak up for themselves.

[skygazer]

you show so much insight into your family's dysfunction, CherryCherry I just know you will be okay.

it is a good decision to go away to university, it is such a great opportunity for a young person to learn about themselves while making new friends.

all the best,

[PassionOfHybrid]

Originally Posted by CherryCherry

Hi everyone,

I know this sounds really pathetic, but I can't stand it anymore!

The women in my family are really b-tchy (sorry for the language) and are all nice to me when alone but when they're together they make fun of my appearance, tell me to shut up and that I'm a know-it-all when all I'm trying to do is help. They will literally all giggle and make shady comments about me, exchange looks and LOVE IT when I give a reaction.

My mum claims to be spiritual but then I catch her judging people. She is a good mother and has looked after me well, but loves to try and humiliate me in front of other family members or exaggerate about my behaviour (to make me sound bad).

I'm a thick skinned person but this is getting beyond the joke. If I ever refuse to help my mum further her spiritual practices (e g. Share my spiritual knowledge with her) I'm called 'a horrible person'... Yet when I try to help her improve something I'm a know-it-all. I get along with everyone at college, so I know that I'm not the problem! I'm not overly sensitive and don't get offended easily so I pretty much never argue with anyone (outside of the family, only these select female members).

When I said I was thinking of moving out next year (when I apply to uni) my mum was saying how much she'd miss me! She is the sweetest person when alone but turns into a monster with others. I cannot talk to her about her behaviour because she brushes it off and turns it on me!

Can anyone make suggestions? I'm at my wits end.

Sounds like they're intimidated by you or just have strong narcissism and covetousness inside them. How about, you just reserve yourself from them...and only interact with them if necessary. By helping them, you're hurting yourself. That's something i believe we should all avoid doing if we see clearly that others are not open to our advice or help. If no changes are being made, it's pointless to continue trying to help.Sometimes, people don't really want a solution, they just want to talk, get attention, or just generally miserable and complaining is their nature.

You keep getting attacked. Eventually, if you haven't grown enough strength, you get insecure and extra sensitive to the opinions of others. You break.Seek love and understanding inside yourself not others...this way you'll be more self-sufficient and the remarks and jabs of others don't get to you. Seek inwards, not outwards. Don't reach out, reach in...

HELP YOURSELF.

[Elric]

Hey Cherry, so many 'scapegoats' & family black sheep here!

The biggest lesson that I learnt when dealing with my family (& others), was to learn how to let go off my passive/aggressive personality for assertiveness.
Holding a mirror up to another is quite powerful. Others can be so unaware of their own entrenched behaviour, so when you point out the way they're treating you & say things like "Why are you angry?" "Why are you being so critical?" "Why do you treat me so poorly in front of others?" for example, it tends to take the wind out of most peoples sails.
When we accept **** from others without challenge, (in my case, to avoid exploding in a rage) it can become 'normal' behaviour. A common reaction was "You never complained before?"
It took me many years to discard the labels that my family pinned on me. When I stood up to their abuse (my childhood is not a happy story) & refused to be treated less than an equal, they discarded me (Rejecting 'Jesus' didn't help) As sad as that may be, it was their choice, not mine.
My story is an extreme & I doubt that standing up to your family will result in exclusion.
Learn to be assertive & life becomes that bit easier.

Good luck : )

[PassionOfHybrid]

The ego makes us do stupid things.

[CherryCherry]

Aww, i love all of your stories and advice - I'm so grateful for them! Things have been better recently but it feels good to know I'm not alone.