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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 15-07-2020, 01:47 AM
Enchanted_DreamFaerie Enchanted_DreamFaerie is offline
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Color Healing from Domestic Violence

For two years now I've been completely focusing on myself and healing from a Domestic Violence relationship. At first I was very scared and I kept having a lot of doubts and suffered with PTSD due to the relationship. Now I'm becoming a completely different person and I'm loving the kind of person I am turning into. Before I was so scared, anxious and depressed all the time. For the longest time I blamed myself and thought I was stupid for not getting out any sooner. Deep down, I was just afraid. Afraid of him and his threats and what would happen to me, if I tried to get out. I was so afraid that I didn't even go to the police. This is how terrified I was of my ex boyfriend. Now I feel a lot happier with myself and I'm still healing from everything I've been through. One good thing is that I'm much more positive now, than I used to be and I set healthy boundaries.
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"Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it." ~Tori Amos
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  #2  
Old 15-07-2020, 04:56 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Congrats on your courage and perseverance. May you continue to stay strong. I find this inspirational.
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  #3  
Old 15-07-2020, 09:33 PM
Brian100 Brian100 is offline
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If you love someone you would never harm them, but your fear of anything and anyone would become =0 And you would die to protect them and your love. You would find that your entire purpose in life is this person you are in love with.
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  #4  
Old 29-07-2020, 06:06 AM
TrueNorth TrueNorth is offline
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Good for yoh. Much light.
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  #5  
Old 04-08-2020, 01:15 AM
Raven Poet
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Hi Enchanted. This is fantastic that you have been able to free yourself from the relationship and the fear it held over you. I think it's "normal" to blame ourselves for staying in toxic/abusive relationships. I know I've done that when I was married to my first husband who was abusive. It was because a friend finally blurted out that she was worried about me and got us a place to live together and helped me move out - that was what yanked me out of that hell. Wishing you continued reclaiming of your joy and true self on your journey!
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  #6  
Old 04-08-2020, 04:42 PM
LibbyScorp LibbyScorp is offline
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Glad you have taken the time for yourself to balance out. It takes a lot to leave a DV relationship. Especially when the police have never been involved and the abuser fills your head with threats.

Here's to a better man that makes you feel safe, inspires you and loves you how you've always imagined to be loved. When you're ready, of course.
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  #7  
Old 04-08-2020, 04:45 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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You were not stupid. Life is a learning experience and you learned. Keep getting stronger and more independent. You are now free to find the real you.
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  #8  
Old 19-08-2020, 03:16 AM
Enchanted_DreamFaerie Enchanted_DreamFaerie is offline
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Thank you for everyone who has responded to this thread. I was so scared to open up about this because so many people has judged me because of it. I'm so glad I'm learning from this experience and becoming a stronger person. Let's just say, I realized so many things as I began healing, so many beautiful things has happened in my life and for that I am thankful.
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  #9  
Old 24-08-2020, 07:28 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enchanted_DreamFaerie
For two years now I've been completely focusing on myself and healing from a Domestic Violence relationship. At first I was very scared and I kept having a lot of doubts and suffered with PTSD due to the relationship. Now I'm becoming a completely different person and I'm loving the kind of person I am turning into. Before I was so scared, anxious and depressed all the time. For the longest time I blamed myself and thought I was stupid for not getting out any sooner. Deep down, I was just afraid. Afraid of him and his threats and what would happen to me, if I tried to get out. I was so afraid that I didn't even go to the police. This is how terrified I was of my ex boyfriend. Now I feel a lot happier with myself and I'm still healing from everything I've been through. One good thing is that I'm much more positive now, than I used to be and I set healthy boundaries.

You have showed great courage on your journey. I suffer from PTSD related to war, and while the features are different the dynamics are similar. As a medic I blamed myself for people who died under my care and my major PTSD feature is survivors guilt.

It seems your major feature is trust, that is what the fear is all about, It will take some time for you to be able to trust again, trust yourself as well as others, particularly another boyfriend. Healing takes time.

Don’t be concerned about other people judging you, what other people say, whether they love you or hate you, says more about them than it does you. Also blaming yourself does not help, believe me I know, I tortured myself over that one for many years. Use this time to get to know you, without judging your self.

Accept your self as you are right now, that is the first step in healing. If you reject your self you will create another problem. We can only grow from where we are right now. Be gentle with your self, be kind to your self. Write down your thoughts and feelings, your anger, fear, and what love you may have felt about that past relationship. Keep a diary or journal.

Seek out supportive friends, or talk to a counselor on a telephone crisis line. But getting another boyfriend who you can trust may take time. Love is unconditional but relationships are not. Relationships are based on conditions, and one of those conditions are that people respect and not abuse each other. God’s speed in your journey, be safe.
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  #10  
Old 25-08-2020, 04:21 AM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Enchanted_DreamFaerie
For two years now I've been completely focusing on myself and healing from a Domestic Violence relationship. At first I was very scared and I kept having a lot of doubts and suffered with PTSD due to the relationship. Now I'm becoming a completely different person and I'm loving the kind of person I am turning into. Before I was so scared, anxious and depressed all the time. For the longest time I blamed myself and thought I was stupid for not getting out any sooner. Deep down, I was just afraid. Afraid of him and his threats and what would happen to me, if I tried to get out. I was so afraid that I didn't even go to the police. This is how terrified I was of my ex boyfriend. Now I feel a lot happier with myself and I'm still healing from everything I've been through. One good thing is that I'm much more positive now, than I used to be and I set healthy boundaries.

Somethings are really hard to do,
but when you look back,
it was the only thing to do.
__________________


 
   ⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜ ⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜⁜

        Happiness is the result of an enlightened mind whereas suffering is caused by a distorted mind.
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