My mother died today

[PecaS]

At 9.43 am local time, my mother, friends, mate. Stopped breathing and finished suffering.

Of course I'm devastated and i have to thank all the kind and beautiful souls here for helping me prepare and go through today.

My job is far from over, but i would like to ask if anyone has any messages or information about mom, please tell me, i pray. For we need to know now the most

Oh no, sorry for your loss. Wishing you peace during this difficult time ❤️

[PecaS]

Thank you. I can't believe how hard it is

[Miss Hepburn]

Oh, I am so sorry...you only lose your mother once...it so doesn't matter if she was kind
or difficult; that bond and love is so deep.❤️
What a learning happens, such depth of feeling is felt... these moments are to be cherished...cherished?
When we feel such depth it is holy, as we know who have gone through it. :(
I wish you the best, Peca.

[hazada guess]

Sorry for your loss pecaS.She had a good death and lives on in spirit. You will go through the grieving process, grief, anger, et cetera.
Time will eventually heal ,she will be with you in spirit as you probably know.She is in peace and you did all you could for a good passing.
Take care and thoughts are with you at this time, it is an awful period.I know, I've been there.

[Native spirit]

Sorry for your loss your mother will go into Healing now and in time im sure you will signs from her Letting you know that she is fine.
You must now allow yourself to Grieve, and come to terms with the loss.


Namaste

[Wagner]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. Back in 2005 my mother disappeared with some motel owner and I've never heard from her since then. Bearing that loss is hard, I know. Sorry for your loss. Peace to you.

I am so sorry for your loss...

I just lost my mother so I know how you feel!!!


Peace and love to you

[PecaS]

I cant edit the original post, so I thought I would write this one to make it a bit more adequate.

Tomorrow at exactly 9.43 am local central time, will mark one week since my mother left to go back home to God Almighty. She was 73 springs old, merciful, joyful, pious, and devout. Her agony started in December 2021​, however, we, her daughters are too ****ing stubborn to just let her go, so we clung to her and pulled her through a crisis after crisis. Until one day she yelled at us asking us to let her die, to let her go home.

Still, afterward, she told us that she did not want to die. So we clung to her a little more. She decided that she did not want to take any more cancer medication, no more chemo, no more radio. She had breast cancer, and then was diagnosed with Nash (non-alcoholic cirrhosis). 10 years later, damn cancer returned with mets in the lung, T10, and hip. She was a trooper and took the chemo and the radio. It took more than a toll on her, then some idiot decided to eat some bat soup´; she was sequestered at home because we did not dare to risk our most precious being to covid. She got depressed.

We were SO focused on the BC, the anemia, the reaction to the covid vaccine, with the idea that the hepatologist said that her liver was recuperated and that we never thought about the cirrhosis. Two months ago we were desperate and finally took her for a scan. The "recovered" liver never recovered, the cirrhosis was very much alive and well. It was full-blown cancerous, with mets in lungs, L2 and mediastino (sorry, don't know the English word for it). There was nothing we could do, she already had ascites.

Someone told us that a Denver shunt would help her survive. BD never told us that they don't do it anymore. US providers told us they had it. We spent one month and a bucket of cash trying to get it home, then we learned that they were trying to sell us a Denver shunt that is not suitable for humans. We could only make her comfortable.

We did try one last resort. it did not work. We were forced to put mom on heavy pain medication. Cleaning her up was extremely painful for her, so much so, that despite the painkillers she would come out of the pain-free world and scream at me to let her go, as I moved her as little as possible, just to clean her up.

It came to a point where when she hear my voice, felt my touch or smelled my scent she cringed and cried. she sobbed once or twice. The funeral home came and took her remains in a blanket. she lost 3/4 of her weight due to the ascites and cancer itself. I was ****ed at the way they moved my mother's body. But I was too numb to say anything.
They prepped her body and were kind enough to remove the liquid from her stomach cavity. If you have seen any documentary on world war 2, and you have seen the bodies of the prisoners in Auschwitz, you know how my mother looked. she was just a small, precious sack of bones. I never knew if cancer had reached her brain, but I suspect it did as my mother had personality chances that were sometimes very radical. she forgot things and even words that she used every day.
This week I've seen old people walking around on the street and I am filled with anger, anguish, and jealousy. Why are these people alive?¡??? Why isn't my mother with me?!?!?! I know she's in Heaven. She's told me so. on the day of her cremation, my stanged family (my father's brothers) took my sister and me to eat something. We had asked mom to let us know loud and clear that she had arrived at heaven, that she was with our granma (her mom) so that we could be at peace.

This is something that weighed heavily on our minds and hearts. During lunch, a lone troubadour came about and sang two characteristic and heavily mom-related songs. My mother was at some point a preschool teacher, she loved children and she would teach them this little nursery song. that is the first song the troubadour sang. The second one related to the pet nickname I would call her constantly. I would call her "bonita" (pretty) and she would complain that she felt I was talking to a horse. I replied to her that it was "bonita" like the song (pretty, like the toys I used to have in the day of my childhood" goes the song) and that is the second song sung.
I am a bit more at peace now. I still cry and I expect I will do so for the longest time. My mother died of cancer. My father's family (9 siblings) have had diabetes or cancer or both) so I know I am screwed. I am considering smoking as it can't hurt. LOL
I want to thank everyone in this forum. I came here not often as I was busy helping mom. Now, I plan to visit a bit more often and help others.

[JustBe]

Thank you for sharing your experiences, my sincere condolences and take care of you xx