Worrying about something that may happen is a waste of time and energy. If people go ballistic at you, and you did nothing to bring that on, then they going ballistic is not about you, its’ about them.
If a person goes ballistic just say thank you for bringing that to my attention and then walk away. I am not saying you have low self esteem but people with low self esteem often speak the way you have spoken here in this thread.
A good place for you to start may be with affirmations; go to the affirmation section here on this forum and learn some positive affirmations to change your internal dialogue. Your internal dialogue is how you talk to yourself in your head.
What we say to ourselves has a very powerful effect on us; we can tear ourselves down or we can build ourselves up. What we think and believe about ourselves is very important. So here are some affirmations which you can repeat to yourself over and over, but understand they will not work unless you believe in what you are saying. It is important to “AFFIRM” a positive image of your self.
LOVING RELATIONSHIPS AFFIRMATIONS
1. I am no longer looking for the right person. I am becoming the right person.
2. I am a responsible person who is happy and free with or without a mate. I can thrive equally well with or without a mate.
3. As I learn to please myself I can have more natural and honest relationships.
4. I am a full person capable of an open, loving relationship.
5. As I think more positively, I will attract positive thinking people into my life with whom I can have nourishing relationships.
6. I can see myself now, with someone who is loving and pleasurable.
7. I have allot of love inside me that flows outward easily, thus making me even more able to love.
8. I am able to handle an intimate, warm, affectionate and supportive relationship.
9. I am now able to intuitively experience the being of another.
10. I think highly of myself and therefore it is easy for me to accept others thinking highly of me.
11. I am careful to state the type of relationship I want rather than how others should change.
12. It is okay to disapprove of others’ actions as long as I am not disapproving of their being.
13. I am careful to state my feelings rather than judge others and their feelings.
14. I am equal to my partner(s) and s/he (they) is/are equal to me.
15. There is an abundance of lovers who are just right for me.
16. If I choose to, I can develop loving, harmonious and lasting relationships.
Now think of some affirmations, or self talk, that you like and can deeply believe in and feel. Make love a project that you want to work on, like fixing a good meal, or preparing your self to be loved. Change the way you think and feel and do not accept any excuses for not doing this.