How to attract a partner.

[Honza]

Having been on my own for most of my life I have spent a lot of time wondering why. My conclusion is that I am not selfish enough! Selflessness sends energy outwards and sends others away from you, whereas to have a partner you need to draw them in. It is based upon the law of attraction.

People who are selfless forget their own importance - and therefore so do others. They forget your importance. My theory is that most relationships are based upon 'I' to 'I'. Rather than soul to soul. (that comes later). Therefore ones needs that selfishness to tug people towards you.

You need a strong 'I' to attract people to you. Hence practicing I AM affirmations will draw people to you. Whereas loving others will satisfy them but not you.

[Miss Hepburn]

I say: Be a person someone would like to be with first.
No other complicated theories.
Be kind, clean, funny, generous, positive...those kinds of things.
A strong "I"? Sure.
Loving others is very satisfying to yourself, imo.

[lostsoul13]

I wouldn't say it's selfish or selfishness being on your own-definitely there's a part that might seem selfish but your drawn inward -like you said...I have to be on my own sometimes and I see it as selfishness (why the account is manifested like this I have no idea ...

Sometimes it's just me and if I forget the longing and just focus on me(when that's the idea) the ideas are short compared to the ideas with my flame- manifesting both of us is selfish- I get the craziest ideas but I get the craziest ideas when alone...
Both are suitable and needed for a loving relationship to bon
d and growth as an individual- attraction as my I is distancing between the I of the twin flame and separation - both are 2 degrees of separation: both are degrees of independence-
I am affirmations get forgetful at times even though I'm always in that driving seat- at first it was luxury-
I gained that and wasn't ready:
it came to easy and left to easy: it wasn't something that would for-fill me( not like saving up ; for something) if it wasn't the expensive apartments it was the electronic goods or cloths( I've had almost everything that's out- literally (somehow have had a connection to it) if it wasn't for walking meditation (
I get floored)
it was health(I didn't necessarily believe to get so ripped)(the body shapes are the same: and it became disgusting- although I gained the healthy body & for a while it was about that)(even *deleted* people were beautiful to me because it be: somewhere the *deleted*had a question of a result and a result was a result-
then it was the lifestyle of the system (being rich bought you some time) being in the system ( also bought you 'time' - but lead as with the rich life to a dead end-
where the systems would eventually take care of you: and somethings end your life... I started becoming fascinated by the infinite's story line ( reincarnation)where the skills you learned would be passed over to your new life and some sort of progressive would occur... I had a questionable amount of time lines and life styles I could choose: in order to live reincarnation-

I guess thoughts lives choose you( because you fit so well within them... Same with the progressive of the twin flame account( how things could be so practical ( I wouldn't know) that sufficient is and it is enough
for it to work( unanimously unanswered questions- for sure, like where does she go when she leaves back into the account ( but who am I to question what's questionable and does t question you?

[FairyCrystal]

Law of Attraction, yes, but not the way you describe.
In order to attract a partner you have to be on the vibration of love. Love, joy, happiness. So you on your own as a single have to find ways to get there, for real, no faking.
Self-love, healthy self-esteem, enjoying life, simply being happy for no particular reason at all but from the inside out. Meaning not dependent on something that happens on the outside, that's conditional.

When you're on that wonderful vibration, you don't even care anymore about not having a partner. THAT's exactly the place you need to get to. Totally happy & fulfilled on your own.
Then you're vibing on love, with love, are love, and then a partner can come in.

Selflessness won't help. You need boundaries, love of self, self-confidence and self-esteem etc.
Selfless usually means "caring more about others than yourself" and "sacrificing your own happiness and well-being for others".
Not the right vibe.

Hi Honza!

I think it is of great importance to as you describe be more selfish as in being safe in who you are and hear that inner voice. I think maybe then you will attract and dare to be more involved with those where you feel that chemistry with, that will be a good mix, a successfull one.

[Honza]

I was trying to say one needs to be more selfish to attract a partner....not selfless. Selflessness sends energy outwards which drives people away according to the law of attraction. A strong sense of self attracts others.

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Honza

I was trying to say one needs to be more selfish to attract a partner....not selfless. Selflessness sends energy outwards which drives people away according to the law of attraction. A strong sense of self attracts others.

Selfish isn't at all good! It's far away from the vibration of love. It's usually based on a lack of love -a closed heart-, fear of trusting, not solid and stable in the lower 3 chakras either.
Not the right vibe to attract love at all. Unless you would be happy with an equally unempowered partner.

There's a thing called self-love where you are open, high vibing, and can also choose yourself (say 'no' to others) which is basically healthy boundaries. Healthy self-love is imperative.
Selfish is not giving a rip about others, only thinking about you. Me, me, me, and what the expense is, I don't care.
That's selfish and really a far cry from love.

YOu cannot attract a partner and love from, me, me, me!
Law of attraction will match you up with someone who's also anything but love.

And cultivate taking an interest in people.

Dale Carnegie's famous book is worth far more than a lot of the soul-searching precepts found in many 'spiritual' uplift books.

Miss Hepburn had it right on.
.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

And cultivate taking an interest in people.
Dale Carnegie's famous book is worth far more than a lot of the soul-searching precepts found in many 'spiritual' uplift books.
Miss Hepburn had it right on.

And so do you re Dale C.

[RedEmbers]

Self love includes being honest with self, shadow side and all and also recognising value.

People see value in many different things and there is value in both light and shadow personality attributes. There are positives to both.

I value and equal measure of relaxation time and also aventure time. I only make enough money to support my preferred lifestyle.

Someone who is hugely ambitious might not value me relaxing so much and think i am lazy i have embraced the light and the shadow of this aspect of me, so I am loving towards myself in this area.

I might be more compatible with someone who is not excessively ambitious UNLESS they have dealt and come to love the aspects (shadows) in themself which they may see mirrored in me in relation to ambition and relaxation.
Then they might actually see value in my more relaxing, easy paced lifestyle.

So, I also value relationships where people are unconditionally loving to their shadow self and also embracing of their whole self - beauty, imperfection and all.