Relationships when only one has awaken

[Bluto]

I find it impossible to be in a relationship because I've spent my whole life out-growing the people I'm around. I'm always developing and growing, and have never felt particularly nourished by others. People always seem to have a stiffing effect on me.

Having said that, I have had an on-off lover for the past 14 years. She's not my partner, but she's more than a friend. But she is almost exactly the same person she was 14 years ago when I met her. She still lives in the same apartment, has the same wallpaper, the same pictures on the wall, everything in her life is stagnant. I on the other hand have gone through incredible changes in that time.

One of those changes was going through a profound spiritual awakening in March 2022 after my first bereavement. The experience was in the top two or three transformative experiences of my life. It was so transformative that I felt I suddenly grasped the meaning of life, and understood reality in a much deeper and enhanced way that I ever had. Not to mention suddenly being able to connect with dis-incarnate entities in a small capacity. I'm a totally different person now to the one I was two years ago in August 2021.

This awakening meant I suddenly became less bothered about things I consider earthly, and therefore transitory and low vibration - such as politics, money, status, and sex. My desire for sex plummeted overnight, and I now consider myself a-sexual (which is MASSIVELY liberating). It was inexplicable, and now lust and thoughts of sex impact me about as much as washing laundry. I still have a libido, or life energy, but it all goes into my artwork, and constant learning about all things spiritual, mystic, and metaphysical. I embrace the fact that my body shall one day die, and I look forward to that event. I'm 44, but beginning the process of winding down, even if it's 50 years before I finally transcend to the other side.

This recent and personal transformation had an impact on my lover. I suddenly felt unable to touch her. It felt wrong and false of me. But she seems to love me deeply, and feels a close bond with me that transcends sex. So I still go over, we still sleep in the same bed, but all sexual activity has ceased, replaced with pillow talk. She accepts this. I can't do it, nor can I even begin to rise to the occasion, with her or anybody. It has a repellent effect on me.

We talk about spiritual matters, but unfortunately she doesn't have much to input. She still likes to blast loud music, but I now crave almost constant peace for contemplation and meditation (which is how I re-energise). I choose to tolerate the loud music and party atmosphere, and don't show how much it irritates me. I have suddenly ceased drinking, she carries on. We're two entirely different people now. Somehow we go on, as friends, but I often wonder how long she will tolerate me for. Probably forever. She always finds her way to me.

[RedEmbers]

I had my own "slavery" cycle going with my ex husband (together 14 years). Similar to JustBe
Once the cycle was complete and my soul was ready to "graduate" from that cycle, we parted ways.

My ex appeared to be entirely disinterested in inner reflection, growth, he preferred a more comfortable pace, was more into outer stuff while I am interested in growth for the most part but we reflected each other's lack of deeper connection.

From a soul perspective, we were matched for a specific amount of time and for a specific purpose... i had to get sick of the same cycle and decide to move on....for my own growth.

[RedEmbers]

I really think that it is up to what you decide and what your preferences are anyway

When I first fell in love with my ex, I felt secure in the fact that he was stubborn and fairly unchanging... it felt more secure to me at the time when I needed it and then towards the end it felt like prison.

I have not had the life path of stable or reliable relationships since then (in romance terms)... it seems that my soul had a lot to learn through learning to let go, not be afraid to say goodbye.

[vibrations]

I can honestly say I tried so hard, with love, light and patience, being such a heart felt person I put his needs before mine, but the negative energy was too much to bare and it was effecting mine, with a mutual agreement we decided to seperate. What I have learned - What may have been meant to be, doesn’t mean it has to be forever! after we decided to part, I honestly felt a weight lift, I went in my garden to meditate, when a magpie landed in front of me and bowed its head right down at me, and opened his wings wide giving me a show, what a beautiful sign, it was like he was saying well done to me, and now you are free ��