Could you have an unhealthy tie to a past life person?

I have experienced several glimpses of memories from several past life. It is the most recent one that has spun out of control with tons of memories over time. It all began with a classical nightmare of how I died as a child being in a female body. To then one time, still more a child than a woman, be in a location where my past life self had been. That was the start of that.

In that life I remember well the long term relationship/marriage she had.
I would find out who these people had been, and at the time her exhusband was still working (I had died fairly young to then be reborn in the same era).

I remember her ex was bitter at her with the divorce and he was a proud father and very easily he got offended. I think most problems began after she had entered a (destructive) relationship with another man (who was abusive). I think the failure of her marriage took her hard and that she had to be the one to be blamed for it. For breaking up the family. A child turning against her because of it. I think because of it she got self destructive. I remember being her at nightclubs and wearing a black dress and heavy make up. It was during this period she got involved with the man who was abusive. I remember there was some mess about their child and the paternity. (it was this way too)That when she hit the ground (mentally speaking) her ex husband took over responsibilities and visit her in the hospital. That they were like friends one minute, but the next they would argue about something, and nobody could I think get her to be so irritated like he could. They still were close in a way that I could tell she was not with the other man who was abusive to her, to chld. The ex husband was to be part of those who would publish photos of her on his social media (he was really with his time despite his age). One when she was even pregnant (with the man who was abusive). I think that was because she was photographed with a child (from their marriage).She and her ex husband would celebrate with the kids and her ex mother in law Christmas after divorce and all. I would remember things like his father having died. I would remember the personality and looks of his parents.

I think her death, the way she or I went, stirred everything up, and for all this time I have stayed I believe spiritually connected with the ex husband, as I have been given tons of memories of him, them. The ex husband was involved in the investigation of her death, willingly.

I am reckoning it is not suppose to be that way? I should not even remember him, remember the past life. Could this be unhealthy?

[FallingLeaves]

well speaking personally, if I hadn't had the memory of all the times my twin treated me badly to remember, I would have continued to let her do it again instead of deciding not to contribute to that any more... those memories were a really big part of whatever healing I was able to do...

Thank you very much, FallingLeaves. But God sorry you had to have it that way. I have not looked at it from that perspective.

[FallingLeaves]

(she's gonna make me say it lol)

i didn't mean you couldn't write what you want to write just on my account. I think your wordiness is kinda cozy in a way

anyway I was thinking, it isn't all sugar and cookies being a guy either, all the things you are supposed to do 'properly' just add up. I know that isn't an excuse for bad behavior, but just saying, you probably weren't the only one who was dissatisfied with the way things going. Now whether your significant others could see that I don't know...

Thank you FallingLeaves, been times I have looked at one of my own posts, replies and thought Oh God that person writes so much, I can't read all that, to then discover it is me! LOL (true!) Like please - get to the point - ! So then I feel sorry for the one who is trying to attempt to read it. So really thank you for thinking all those words are kinda cozy, hi, hi :)

I have carried with me quilt from that past life what I did wrong to the husband, ex-husband, knowing I did while I did it,and feeling worse about it after. I agree that it was not easy for him.

Maybe without knowing it I have come to think from my memories that it was out of jealousy and anger that she was killed off, and that the jealousy from the recent boyfriend, was that he thought something beside co parenting and friendship had been going on between herself and her ex.husband. There was never no motive presented as it was only presented to have been without knowing how dangerous the drug was (the wild 1970s) and by accident.

When the ex. husband was still alive I thought about contacting him and explaining that I thought I had memories of his dead ex-wife but I was so nervous to be called out a lyeir that I never did. I did wonder if he would recognize me (my spirit), or not react at all.

I always thought there must have been some terrible mistake why I get these memories and what am I going to do to stop them from happening? I never thought there could be a spiritual purpose.

It is just weird to me why I still dream of him as in feeling his presence and dream, having memories from that life in the dreams.

It could have been that my spirit wanted to tell the ex husband I was killed over you, it was no accident, and too to try to tell him to look out, and look out for the familys sake, afraid the killer would come after them as well. Then again I knew that if the killer went after him he would really be asking for it.

Even if he was a pain in the butt, the ex husband, at times, he was too someone that I would remember would be protective of her.

Then I think of his spirit, is it really good for him to still be connected to me this way? Why is it still happening? Those are the kind of questions I have at this point. Why has it not let go?

[FallingLeaves]

well you and he have probably been 'attached' for a long time, he may miss you! Or you may hold something he needs...

whatever mistakes you made like you understand he made some too... but really we all of us here are making lots of mistakes and sometimes that hurts our loved ones though... I learned somewhere though that in addition for having compassion for those around us that have had to put up with us it is good to remember to have compassion for ourselves as well...

I'm wondering, if you think your death was presented as an accident why do you have reason to question that? Is it just a matter of feeling like you were punished somehow?

Yes, it is the best feeling in the world when you are able to forgive or someone forgiving you.

The reason I have to question her death is that the details from remembering how it went down from childhood nightmare that was persistent the same scenes (death scene) and very different from other nightmares. I desperately wanted to think it was imagination. From the nightmare/s the killer did what he did on purpose, not accidental, but he was intelligent and he walked away a free man.

I think it was because of jealousy and anger. She had for a period became more closer than she used to be with her ex husband. The way I remember it is that they first got real close as friends and then expressed to her that he wanted them to try again (romantically) and she had to reject him. At the time it felt as if she was worried about the progress their family had made in a positive direction, what they had now rebuilt, but as friends, not as a couple, and that she too mentally did not want to rock the boat. In the past she had come out of a depression that had been treated but I think she was still healing from that. Because of the abuse that had happened in a relationship she had been in before I think she was honestly too scared from it to find peace in a new/or old/ relationship where she was then (inside herself). I think she was afraid that she would dissapoint her ex husband, and that their effort to try again as a couple would only fail, just as they had failed in the past. They had a history of going back and forth to each other. Once before when they had been married it had been troubled and it was during that time that she did (what I have felt so guilty about), she became involved with someone romantically/an affair, only I could tell she did not even like this man. I think she did it to end things once and for all between herself and her husband, or she did it because she was angry with her husband, but even as her lips (this is where my memory is at strongest) met this other man's lips she felt this grief and felt it was wrong and she missed her husband. The way it then went is that this was thought of as the end, but then she asked her estranged husband for another chance. It did not work. All I can remember the most is how he carried himself, if that make sense. He was not the type to ask her to split, and she had to be the one doing it, but she did it for him too, you know? There was this difference in how he carried himself before and after finding out about her affair, and even if she would never think of being unfaithful again or going back to that man, and him trusting that she would not go back to him, everything had naturally changed. SO I would say this second time around when they split for good it was more calm, still very sad, but as if he was agreeing to it more. Still she got the blame for it all. It was he that would talk as a father in a way that I think turned one of her children "against her", or so it felt, and she had nothing to put against that.

Before when they had been married, before the socalled affair, it felt as if everything had to be his way, his life, his taste, and she had trouble voicing herself. She was also in herself insecure, and she went into that process of looking the way he wanted her to look and so on.

They lost a baby too, and I am suspecting that this was the period after that she got the blues, but that it was for a period, not that she had been depressed throughout their marital years, but that it was during this depression that he felt even more strong minded than before to her (because she felt more weak and close to tears) and I think for a period there, before she got help, that he got frustraded (most likely afraid) with her, but that his frustration only led to her feeling more of a failure than she already felt, and more alienated from him.

My thoughts is that if this baby would have survived that she would not have gotten the blues the way she did. The issues with her first family and her second were always present and I could read in the court papers that her ex husband warned about this, he warned that he thought his wife was being pressured, and influenced, and warned about his concern that the alimony would not go to his wife and their family, but in the wrong pockets, but they could not quarantee. to me that was a confirmation that what I had earlier recalled had been very much real, even on a bigger scale than I had remembered it. I remember her being tense and caught in the middle but not how big it was and how long this situation had been, but it was clear then by reading through his words, through someone else, that it had been a major issue, and had been tearing on them.

Usually in the dreams and when I feel his presence it is not during these unhappy periods, but more so how it was before. Maybe not blissfully happy, but happy or fine, in the reality, life they then led. It can too be about the phone ringing and there is some businessman at the other end and she is taking notes, and just one memory flooting around after another, and nothing in particular or dramatic is happening.

His own comments in real life about this marriage is that he had never worked as hard as he did during and that meant he was away a lot and that she handled everything in his abscence, and that he would return then it felt as if she did not need him to do anything, it was taken cared of, that she never asked of his help. He would see it as a failure that he at the time could not move his family (including the wife) closer to where he then worked. When i have looked through his working projects and what he did I am surprised he even had the time to have a wife and family. He was also a risktaker, a gambler, and I remember her fear, insecurities, about what was really going on with their finances and him just treating it as if that was "His business" and not hers, that there was nothing to worry about. I think they had different takes on how to look at finances and money, and that she was cut out, cut off, from his business world.

I experienced too what he would say, that there was (from his perspective) problems on a grand scale from her first family verses her second (him and their family) and that he only took notice of his own perspective in it, and was insensitive to hers, which he said he later understood, but not while it was happening. I think that too made her feel more alone with him. I do remember 2 of such fights, glimpses of it but it was enough to let me know. I knew what it felt like to be caught in the middle. Which is then strange because in this life I live now I did not want to place my then luv in those kind of shoes, but had no choice, eventually, if I was to stand up for myself. So the same issues has returned, only now from another perspective.(Now I actually know what it was like to be in the ex husband's shoes).

When ever I feel his presence and I have these dreams it is as if I am her 100% and the old life there and I never think of asking him anything. It's just natural. I'm just in it. He feels close then, as in close to her (or I) the way it used to be before, like mentally, connected, something they may have both for taken for granted would always be the same.

[FallingLeaves]

i was thinking it must be nice to be connected through your dreams, the way you are. Even to someone you aren't with right now. I get almost everything second hand and have to put the pieces together myself...

Yes, you're right, It is nice, it is never a nightmare with him, feeling him, his spirit, I mean, meanwhile as I am floating around there, sometimes it feel as if it has been hours of this, as in real life, but sort of groggy on it, just floating, is maybe the best way to describe it. I usually can only take with me 1 or two sharp images from it, at most. But I feel him- throughout. I have even at times thought if I could only send a message back to my past life self do-not-do-this! your life will be ruined.

I don't know if it was, is unfinished business between us or what it is, it is strange too when I think that he was alive all those years when I would have all those memories of him and the family life, the ups and downs,we could even have been in the same city for all I know and I didn't know that at the time, and when I could not stop it -the memories - years of it - or understand what it was (I did not at once believe in past life that happened only after I got more and more right after my research but even then I was skeptic, to me it was so far out. I kept collecting proof til someone said when will you start to believe this was your past life? There were by then so many. ).

Maybe unfinished in that he wanted to know what really happened? Or unfinished on my part as I could not get back to life and tell them I was killed over jealousy of the exhusband and out of anger.

I still feel frustraded about it all , how it went down. It is only when you start piecing together one witness with another that the complete picture before she was killed can help one who is an outsider understand it a little bit better. Like the one friend she was close to who said the truth, that it was a lie what the killer had said they were still a couple, she had broken up with him some time ago. That she was not happy to have him in her home, this why the neighbour heard her screaming at him (in regression I screamed at him to leave, he had no business being there), and then another friend, who would remember that she had gone on a vacation, a trip, with her exhusband and the kids. I am thinking if the exboyfriend found out about that trip and thought it was too much for her to go on it, and why, and if she had been cheating with her exhusband during their relationship. It was as if the investigators missed out on just how close she and her exhusband and the families were and that she was even friends with her exhusband's friends, so this was something going on, even if they had been divorced a long time ago.

It is only my personal reflection that I think she liked her exhusband more that late in her life as he had gotten, sorry to say it, some punches in his finance life too, to bring him more down to earth (sorry if that sounds mean), but I remember before when they were married that his arrogance used to irritate her and she did not find that one bit attractive, and I think he had lots of people who just said yes to him even if they should have said no. So I think they had both matured, and she just liked him more. He had not been so successful before when they had married, that was something that sort of took a life of its own if I understood it right during the marital years, and I think it brought on a lot of problems too. She did not feel at home in that life, in that environment. I think she loved him, but his businessman-mask on was making him more tough than I think she liked.

He would always say that he still loved her, years after her death, and what a way to speak about your exwife like that? That made me think, yes something did happen, it did not quite go all the way, as there was no reconsiliation, but that maybe my memory then was right, that they were that close, but her fear of failing again, yesterdays, took charge, and maybe that was a mistake. Perhaps if she had given them a new chance, him her, she him, she would not have been killed off like she was, she would not have been that vulnerable, like she was.

How do you mean you get everything second hand, interested to know more, if you like to share?

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