Is there a reason you came into this life if your parents were abusive?

[Starman]

I had to learn, and accept, that my parents were on their own journey through life just like I am. Children have great expectations for their family, especially their parents, lots of kids have magical fantasy type perceptions of their parents, and when those expectations are dashed it can be very painful. The question for me was why was I born into the family that I was born into.

My abusive parents unconsciously taught me how to be independent and stand on my own two feet with little to no support from my family. My journey would have been altogether different if I did not have parents who abused, and abandoned, me. It took decades for me to work through the pain, and isolation, I endured as a child.

But what I have come to know is that most people who have deep spiritual experiences came out of very abusive families. Divine reasons usually have nothing to do with human reasoning and logic. It is more on the level of divine wisdom than it is on the level of reasons. It has often taken decades before I get a glimpse that connects something I went through in my life with the greater picture of my Earthly journey.

We each have a unique puzzle to put together, the only thing is that there is no picture of what it is suppose to look like once it is put together, and often we may wonder if we even have all of the pieces to our very own unique puzzle. We do.

Well, I may have all the puzzle pieces, but it is hard to put them all together when I am still a few cards short of a deck.

[Starman]

Chess was once a very popular game but when I learned how to play chess,
it seemed everyone else wanted to play cards. The game keeps changing
but the questions remain the same.

LIFE IS LIKE...

Life is like a bagel. It’s delicious when it’s fresh and warm,
but often it’s just hard. The hole in the middle is its great mystery,
and yet it wouldn’t be a bagel without it.

Life is like an unassembled abacus.
It’s what you make of it that counts.

Life is like eating grapefruit.
First, you have to break through the skin;
then it takes a couple of bites to get used to the taste,
and just as you begin to enjoy it, it squirts you in the eye.

Life is like a maze in which you try to avoid the exit.

Life is like a banana. You start out green and get soft and mushy
with age. Some people want to be one of the bunch while others
want to be top banana. You have to take care not to slip on externals.
And, finally, you have to strip off the outer coating to get at the meat.

Life is like riding an elevator. It has allot of ups and downs and someone
is always pushing your buttons. Sometimes you get the shaft, but what
really bothers you are the jerks.

Life is like cooking. It all depends on what you add and how you mix it.
Sometimes you follow the recipe and at other times, you’re creative.

Life is like a puppy dog always searching for a street full of fire hydrants.

Life is like a poker game. You deal or are dealt to. It includes skill and luck.
You bet, check, bluff, and raise. You learn from those you play with.
Sometimes, you win with a pair or lose with a full house. But whatever happens,
it’s best to keep on shuffling along.

[inavalan]

If you believed that you create your reality, than there'd be nobody (else) to blame, and could concentrate on what do better from now on.

If you believed time isn't inexorably passing, then you'd expect to fix everything now.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Ginger Maynor

If you believe in reincarnation or that you have a choice in when you come back into this life,
is there any reason you would be born to abusive narcissistic parents who scapegoated you? If so, what would be your "work" in this lifetime?
Are you supposed to heal from it and realize your innate goodness in spite of the bad things your family is filling your head with?
Are you supposed to learn to trust yourself and your own inner guidance? Is this something we have to keep repeating in each lifetime until we finally heal from it and can move onto something healthier in the next life?
Thanks.

Good question ...and I could probably help telling you my exp. As briefly as I can:
-Mean father - but only to me - from day I was born, till he died - me at 34 yrs old.
-My relationships reflected my inner turmoil or issues with things like trust ---whatever. Not good.
- Went to therapy just to help me forgive my Dad. Catholics do that, try to forgive.
-Also, screamed at his spirit - "Why did you even have children?" It was bad.
-After praying, therapy, yelling at him for over 2 decades since his death.

Finally, in the middle of the day doing a chore - I was struck with one of my 'visions' - an Insight revealed---
I see or hear scenes from other lives...and wow. I'm weird that way.
This time it was a scene from the In-between place, tho - not the past life with him in 1840-70, the most recent.

I hear him directly, clearly say to me - "I will be your father and you will be my daughter -
and I will treat you like you treat women...so
you will stop once and for all."
I said, OK ---haha, and felt the feeling of total, easy agreement.

That was why he treated only me so so so badly...oh my, right from the start as an adorable blue eyed blonde, sweet little girl...
I could do nothing right...ridiculed all the time. Esp from 4 - 34.

I am a slow learner - took decades for me to be a nicer person to everyone. (Actually, 3 lifetimes that I can remember.)
Mars in Scorpio didn't help.

"Nothing is what it seems".

Meaning my terrible father was really my best buddy thru diff lives.
Hope this opens you to a diff perspective of people's roles
on your soul's journey of growth ---
it is all perfect ...the good, the bad and the ugly.

[lemex]

Originally Posted by Starman

I had to learn, and accept, that my parents were on their own journey through life just like I am. Children have great expectations for their family, especially their parents, lots of kids have magical fantasy type perceptions of their parents, and when those expectations are dashed it can be very painful. The question for me was why was I born into the family that I was born into.

My abusive parents unconsciously taught me how to be independent and stand on my own two feet with little to no support from my family. My journey would have been altogether different if I did not have parents who abused, and abandoned, me. It took decades for me to work through the pain, and isolation, I endured as a child.

But what I have come to know is that most people who have deep spiritual experiences came out of very abusive families. Divine reasons usually have nothing to do with human reasoning and logic. It is more on the level of divine wisdom than it is on the level of reasons. It has often taken decades before I get a glimpse that connects something I went through in my life with the greater picture of my Earthly journey.

We each have a unique puzzle to put together, the only thing is that there is no picture of what it is suppose to look like once it is put together, and often we may wonder if we even have all of the pieces to our very own unique puzzle. We do.

Absolutely. I've written the same thing about being which is ever changing. Knowledge and understanding. I don't see divine having nothing to do with human reasoning and logic if it is actually about learning. I would expect the divine reason has everything to do with human reasoning and logic which I know is something not taught. i expect imo the divine expects us to not do it. But I also feel it important to realize this in terms of the larger world to. I often wonder if this is the next step to change the world.

[Fatimasque]

Thank you miss Hepburn

certainly helps to see my own father that way.
I do think he's a great man, just wish he thought wonderfully of me too.
which now makes me resent him for not. I'm being honest.

but yes. he must have been my best body through different lives

what an enlightening thought.

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Meaning my terrible father was really my best buddy thru diff lives.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by lemex

Absolutely. I've written the same thing about being which is ever changing. Knowledge and understanding. I don't see divine having nothing to do with human reasoning and logic if it is actually about learning. I would expect the divine reason has everything to do with human reasoning and logic which I know is something not taught. i expect imo the divine expects us to not do it. But I also feel it important to realize this in terms of the larger world to. I often wonder if this is the next step to change the world.

There are logical fallacies and reasoning can be faulty. A murder, rapist, or even and abusive parent, has a logical explanation for what they do, some might call it more of a rationalization. But still the mental models that they use are sound and valid to them.

I worked as a social worker with sexually abused kids, and I had some kids in my care who had been abused by their parents. When I met the parents they explained to me that they were teaching the kids about sex, mom was having sex with her very young son and dad with his very young daughter. They adamantly felt that the parents should be the first ones to have sex with their kids. This was their reasoning.

I think that human reasoning can be great but it can also be disastrous. Most people can not see beyond their own reasoning. For me, divine wisdom is often intuitive. It is a knowing that is not linear, and may come as and epiphany or just and insight. I have found that the process of letting go, which is 90% of the work when coming out of and abusive family, allows us to become conscious of that higher, or greater, wisdom. But as you have said, being is ever changing, thus the adage "I wish I knew then what I know now."

[Miss Hepburn]

Time for that story again, ;)

The student asks his Master:
Why is it the thief of the village just found 5 gold coins under that tree, while
the good man of the village was just robbed under that other tree?

The Master answered: Not all is what it seems.
The 'bad' man of the village in past lives was a very, very good man and
was meant to find a chest full of gold coins.
But, he made very harmful choices this life and so only the 5 coins.
The 'good' man of the village had many lives doing great harm and was meant
to be beaten robbed and hung at that tree.
But because of his kind choices this life he was only robbed.

Nothing is what it seems, grasshopper.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Time for that story again, ;)

The student asks his Master:
Why is it the thief of the village just found 5 gold coins under that tree, while
the good man of the village was just robbed under that other tree?

The Master answered: Not all is what it seems.
The 'bad' man of the village in past lives was a very, very good man and
was meant to find a chest full of gold coins.
But, he made very harmful choices this life and so only the 5 coins.
The 'good' man of the village had many lives doing great harm and was meant
to be beaten robbed and hung at that tree.
But because of his kind choices this life he was only robbed.

Nothing is what it seems, grasshopper.

I guess everything can be explained by that ...

On the other hand, it might've been just a case of expectations:

• The thief expected to get money one way or another.
• The good man didn't expect any money.