I need advice

MermaidSable · #1 10-10-2019, 02:56 AM

Hi I’m kind of new here. I’ve been lurking for a over a year but felt it was time to post since I'm kind of in a loop right now. See I’ve been in a twin flame situation for a few years now and I feel like I’m currently lost. For one thing, of course we separated and remained separated. However, we still talk once in awhile. It's been sorta okay and it's probably been necessary to do this given the situation (haha yay to communication) but it hasn't really gotten us results if reunion is the goal. Perhaps it's not. In the beginning we would talk all the time. It was great. I loved it. I remembered after one conversation telling me I made him feel smarter, taller, and stronger. I felt the same way with him. He made me feel incredibly beautiful. We would share songs. We would fantasize. Unfortunately, I stopped it because I felt like he wasn’t honest with me. I ended it.

Once in awhile, he still reaches out to me and sometimes I let him know that I am looking for him. For some reason, we feel like we have to be in touch. The thing is though, a lot of time has passed and on the surface we have moved on with our lives. We moved to different cities, got married and started families. But deep down, I know I still have feelings for him.

I’m really confused. I know I am in an emotional affair with my twin flame. I really don’t know where this is going..

Right now, we are not talking. We haven’t reached out to each other in three years.

In the past, he had brought the idea of me coming to visit, but at that time it didn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right now. I’m just afraid I’ll fall in love with him again. Even if we tried to be friends. I guess I have to learn how to be his friend?

#2 10-10-2019, 07:17 AM

This sounds heartless but my advice would be to move on.If it was meant to be,it would have happened.
He wants friendship,be his friend,in the meantime get on with your life.Sorry that sounds so blunt.

MermaidSable · #3 12-10-2019, 04:54 AM

No, you’re fine. I appreciate your response. I agree that if it was meant to be it would have happened. In the end, you either do or you don’t. I guess we didn’t for whatever reasons.

For the most part, I have gone on with my life. The problem is I still haven’t let go of him. I tried to and he’s still there. I did do cord cutting a couple of years ago and it did seem to work. I couldn’t say why I let him come back again.

I would like to be his friend, but I wouldn’t know how to approach it. Perhaps it’s best not to out of respect.

Sunshine111 · #4 12-10-2019, 08:55 AM

My advice is to concentrate on your husband and child. I really do not understand why people still have feelings for their exes get married to another anyway, have not let go of them and are not in reality emotionally available and mature, get married in the first place.Maybe you can help me understand this mindset , behavior and decision.

Sunshine111 · #5 12-10-2019, 08:58 AM

*people who still have romantic feelings for their exes(addition of "who" and "romantic"-correction)

#6 12-10-2019, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MermaidSable

No, you’re fine. I appreciate your response. I agree that if it was meant to be it would have happened. In the end, you either do or you don’t. I guess we didn’t for whatever reasons.

For the most part, I have gone on with my life. The problem is I still haven’t let go of him. I tried to and he’s still there. I did do cord cutting a couple of years ago and it did seem to work. I couldn’t say why I let him come back again.

I would like to be his friend, but I wouldn’t know how to approach it. Perhaps it’s best not to out of respect.

You are in a difficult place,You still love him.I don't think it would be possible to stay friends.Think of your family.
If you want to put the cat amongst the pigeons and risk your family,write him a letter telling him how you really feel and that you can't stat just friends.That will give you your answer but it would split apart 2 families.

Brian100 · #7 16-07-2020, 01:57 PM

People move on with their lives b.c they want any love..(that can work) and if they found True love wouldn't have 2nd thoughts on someone else. But then they are left with that feeling they married for the wrong reasons!

I never married until I was madly in love. And I never remarried... God will have to fix this thing he started for me! I'm not that eager to get stuck with someone you have no feelings for.