People who are really similar to you, but you clash with regularly

[AlignedWithTheHeart]

It's happened me twice now, that I meet someone (same gender) and they are really similar to me. I see that my feeling about them is neutral, I don't get a good feeling about them like I do with people I usually befriend. But because we are so similar, we naturally become best friends. But the friendship is superficial in a way because the feeling is neutral. And it happens that we trigger each other and get in conflicts that I never get in with anyone else. With these two friends it never gets violent cuz none of us are like that. Something these two friends have in common is they're deeply spiritually inclined and advanced in a lot of ways but something they also have in common is they have a huge spiritual ego. And this spiritual ego is the source of all the conflicts. If their spiritual values get called into question they flip and turn hostile. What does this mean, that these two friends are mirroring something in me? It's really interesting because the first one, I met him at the beginning of a process which I feel has greatly deconstructed the spiritual ego I used to have. But I see some of it is still there, I can catch it really well but it's these two friends that trigger it to surface in ways I wasn't aware it was even there. So in this way, these two friends are like spiritual teachers to me. The friendship is superficial and deep at the same time.

These friends both appeared in my life in times of massive spiritual shifts. One of them (the first one I met) would regularly get hostile towards all kinds of people not just me. The second one is way more covert and camoflaged, its only with me he exposes it fully. Is this a soul family, soul contract type situation? I wouldn't usually talk about this but its just today, my friend somehow triggered a kind of sadness I hadn't been able to feel for a long time. It's really nice to be able to feel it again. I don't need to run from it or suppress it like I once did.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by AlignedWithTheHeart

It's happened me twice now, that I meet someone (same gender) and they are really similar to me. I see that my feeling about them is neutral, I don't get a good feeling about them like I do with people I usually befriend. But because we are so similar, we naturally become best friends. But the friendship is superficial in a way because the feeling is neutral. And it happens that we trigger each other and get in conflicts that I never get in with anyone else. With these two friends it never gets violent cuz none of us are like that. Something these two friends have in common is they're deeply spiritually inclined and advanced in a lot of ways but something they also have in common is they have a huge spiritual ego. And this spiritual ego is the source of all the conflicts. If their spiritual values get called into question they flip and turn hostile. What does this mean, that these two friends are mirroring something in me? It's really interesting because the first one, I met him at the beginning of a process which I feel has greatly deconstructed the spiritual ego I used to have. But I see some of it is still there, I can catch it really well but it's these two friends that trigger it to surface in ways I wasn't aware it was even there. So in this way, these two friends are like spiritual teachers to me. The friendship is superficial and deep at the same time.

These friends both appeared in my life in times of massive spiritual shifts. One of them (the first one I met) would regularly get hostile towards all kinds of people not just me. The second one is way more covert and camoflaged, its only with me he exposes it fully. Is this a soul family, soul contract type situation? I wouldn't usually talk about this but its just today, my friend somehow triggered a kind of sadness I hadn't been able to feel for a long time. It's really nice to be able to feel it again. I don't need to run from it or suppress it like I once did.

Maybe your sentence about mirroring is the crux of it all. Why do some people trigger particular reactions? Because we see unresolved aspects of ourselves in that person. And it is always easier to see these things reflected in other people than to see them directly within ourselves.

So be grateful to these friends for all that they are showing you. Perhaps they appeared in your life at the right time for this specific purpose. These people show us those parts of ourselves where we still carry some kind of charge. The emptier we become, the less there is within us to be triggered into a reaction.

Peace

hi! all i notice is that some of my soul group members is not at all like me, ha ha. with some we love each other but drive each other nuts or support one another with our differences, others we love and have more of a natural understanding of one another. i have also now come to the conclusion - because of past life memories - that somehow my energy has been and possibly still is helplessly drawn to a type or types that can be really difficult for me or them to live with, even so there is love. overall it is strong emotions involved. If to take an example I have found out who my past life ex husband was, and as it was he was dating my sister when he in secret fell in love with me which was definitely not planned and not convenient and although i was young and playful in that age i knew very well that i should not flirt or date my sister's boyfriend and so i strictly saw him as a type of big brother. I think I might have been given an idea to when it happen - him starting to see me, as in him falling in love. we were eating dinner at home, all of us and he said something with his type of humor that I thought was funny so I giggled a little but no one else did, my sister was more serious than i was, and he just gave me a look and our eyes met - and there was an understanding there, an affinity, a shared type of humor. he came to a point when he realize he could not shake it off and he couldn't pretend and he would always hold up 3 fingers, which meant 3 years. that he had known me, or my family for 3 years, and for 3 years he had been smitten with me - knowing i was not his, i was young but blossoming i guess - to the point that he sat down with my parent and told the truth. he would use the term chemical, that it was a chemical reaction and he couldn't help it. when there was talk about why getting married so soon after starting to date me he would reply he had loved me a long time before that and he was sure, that it wasn't what it look like from the outside, impulsive.

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by AlignedWithTheHeart

It's happened me twice now, that I meet someone (same gender) and they are really similar to me. I see that my feeling about them is neutral, I don't get a good feeling about them like I do with people I usually befriend. But because we are so similar, we naturally become best friends. But the friendship is superficial in a way because the feeling is neutral. And it happens that we trigger each other and get in conflicts that I never get in with anyone else. With these two friends it never gets violent cuz none of us are like that. Something these two friends have in common is they're deeply spiritually inclined and advanced in a lot of ways but something they also have in common is they have a huge spiritual ego. And this spiritual ego is the source of all the conflicts. If their spiritual values get called into question they flip and turn hostile. What does this mean, that these two friends are mirroring something in me? It's really interesting because the first one, I met him at the beginning of a process which I feel has greatly deconstructed the spiritual ego I used to have. But I see some of it is still there, I can catch it really well but it's these two friends that trigger it to surface in ways I wasn't aware it was even there. So in this way, these two friends are like spiritual teachers to me. The friendship is superficial and deep at the same time.

These friends both appeared in my life in times of massive spiritual shifts. One of them (the first one I met) would regularly get hostile towards all kinds of people not just me. The second one is way more covert and camoflaged, its only with me he exposes it fully. Is this a soul family, soul contract type situation? I wouldn't usually talk about this but its just today, my friend somehow triggered a kind of sadness I hadn't been able to feel for a long time. It's really nice to be able to feel it again. I don't need to run from it or suppress it like I once did.

I think that your beliefs distort your perceptions, and you aren't aware of this possibility. Most likely those two are neither teachers, nor advanced. You force yourself into a relationship that is based on wishful thinking. My advice: keep searching elsewhere.

[AlignedWithTheHeart]

Originally Posted by iamthat

Maybe your sentence about mirroring is the crux of it all. Why do some people trigger particular reactions? Because we see unresolved aspects of ourselves in that person. And it is always easier to see these things reflected in other people than to see them directly within ourselves.

So be grateful to these friends for all that they are showing you. Perhaps they appeared in your life at the right time for this specific purpose. These people show us those parts of ourselves where we still carry some kind of charge. The emptier we become, the less there is within us to be triggered into a reaction.

Peace

I'm definitely grateful to be friends with them, even though there are regularly moments where I feel like cutting all ties with them since the triggers can be so strong. The first one was too much, it wasn't just me he was getting in fights with, it was everyone. The second one is different, but the patterns are similar. We have all the same interests, same passions, similar life experiences, everything. So we naturally become best friends but I don't have any emotional connection to him which is weird because usually I feel an emotional connection to my friends, otherwise we wouldn't really be friends. And my friends who I got an emotional connection to, we usually have a few things in common but are very different. And we don't clash. It sounds like I'm talking about romantic relationships but it's not that, these are friends of the same gender. But more like brothers than friends. But like brothers from a disfuncional family, that's a perfect way to describe it. It's clearly and obviously a spiritual connection, they're no ordinary friends. One of them says he has flashes of memories from past lives where we were friends too. Going back to biblical times he says. Why I clash with them, it's a big mystery because most people can't even imagine me clashing with anyone, they struggle to believe me when I say it can happen.

Originally Posted by AlignedWithTheHeart

I'm definitely grateful to be friends with them, even though there are regularly moments where I feel like cutting all ties with them since the triggers can be so strong. The first one was too much, it wasn't just me he was getting in fights with, it was everyone. The second one is different, but the patterns are similar. We have all the same interests, same passions, similar life experiences, everything. So we naturally become best friends but I don't have any emotional connection to him which is weird because usually I feel an emotional connection to my friends, otherwise we wouldn't really be friends. And my friends who I got an emotional connection to, we usually have a few things in common but are very different. And we don't clash. It sounds like I'm talking about romantic relationships but it's not that, these are friends of the same gender. But more like brothers than friends. But like brothers from a disfuncional family, that's a perfect way to describe it. It's clearly and obviously a spiritual connection, they're no ordinary friends. One of them says he has flashes of memories from past lives where we were friends too. Going back to biblical times he says. Why I clash with them, it's a big mystery because most people can't even imagine me clashing with anyone, they struggle to believe me when I say it can happen.

hi, this is what I meant - sorry for jumping in by the way - the reason you don't have an emotional connection with them is because they are not part of your soulgroup. Like the past life ex husband would better fit, actually, to continue things with my sister because they were more alike etc, he was drawn to me without logic reason and we had a very strong emotional connection. So these people are not part of your soul group, is what I think.

It depends on how willing you are to let people be the people they are. I cherish individuality which means allowing just that. Clashes are inevitable but it's about politely agreeing to disagree and don't let that get in the way of anything else. Open-/broad-mindedness.
.

[Fatimasque]

honestly, there are many people today who speak in spiritual jargon like pros.
you say they are inclined to spirituality but are fighting with people and flipping into hostile modes.
neither of these are spiritual. we can meditate and do healing all we want.
but if we cannot be kind to others who are not like us, then we are not kind.
and if we fight with others and lash out anger, then we are not spiritual, we are angry, afraid, and egotistical but simply dressed in shaman clothes... (its just a mask, not their real face)

I have met many 'masters' in spirituality, who think themselves better than others because of their journey. once you have this belief, you are no longer better than anyone. a true spiritual person knows that to each his journey, and we all come into our path and purpose, and that not everyone's path or purpose has to be spiritual, in order to be noble, or worthy of respect and appreciation.

not all my friends are into energy healing or meditation, or a spiritual path to God as I feel I am,
in fact most of them, have journey's different than mine. some are believers, others atheist, others still deciding or they don't even care.
its not about what we have in common, its how we hold space, love, and respect for each other, even when we disagree.
and we love nothing more than a banter of opposing ideas. it keeps us all fresh and on our toes, and it helps us see 'other' and 'different', in a way that is enlightening, and not threatening.
(mind you, I have some friends who don't make it so easy... but lets not that for now)

if you've had an inclination to cut ties with these 'friends', then I suggest you listen to this gut. don't look for people who 'look like you' on the outside.
but ones who love and respect you even for how different you may be to them.
maybe, like me, that's what they will love best about you. is how different you are.

I too wish I had friends who were more spiritually inclined, only because it would be nice to have other 'teachers' around me. but that's also why I came here onto this forum, because I needed a place that mirrored my journey. and I could grasp from all your experiences that which would supplement my understanding of my own, and my growth within it.

but those two things are different. so please don't stick to people who only know how to spill spiritual jargon (because anyone can learn the quotes and the physical practices of any school). but to be true to it, is to be kind first.
the spiritual ego. is just an ego.
banker ego. politician ego. spiritual ego. teacher ego. they are all ego.
in fact, the spiritual ego is even worse, because it preaches while practicing the opposite.

be kind to yourself first. and be your own friend. and in being your own friend first, give yourself advice that you deserve friends who are good to you, and good for you.
sorry, these two just don't sound like it.
and maybe they came into your journey when you needed to learn something from them.
and maybe their time and purpose in your life is now finished. keeping them around will be anti-conducive to the lessons learnt or to be learnt. (maybe this is the very lesson)

anyhow, hope this helped or made sense at least. lol


best of luck
and peace and love of course

Fats

[inavalan]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It depends on how willing you are to let people be the people they are. I cherish individuality which means allowing just that. Clashes are inevitable but it's about politely agreeing to disagree and don't let that get in the way of anything else. Open-/broad-mindedness.
.

Good advice; difficult to follow.

Knowing that you can't change others, might help.

[Fatimasque]

I completely agree. and I cherish individuality too. and yes people can be people, but it doesn't mean that we should accept unkindness from them because well that's the individual self and we want to celebrate that.
I accept all people as they are, best I can. but I also accept that I am worthy of respect and appreciation even when I am different and unconventional.
and if a person will lash at me for being different, then they are not respecting my individuality either.
I won't lash out, but doesn't mean that we should tolerate disrespect and unkindness from others. it is not about being egotistical. its self love. kindness and acceptance and agreement are not the same thing. I can not accept someone, and still be kind to them. I'm learning to put boundaries myself with less than kind or sometimes unawares therefore abusive friends.

I love them. but I tell them to stay in their rooms until they have something nicer to say or a nicer way to say it. and if they don't. then we don't need to be friends. we can be old friends who went their own way. I will accept that's who they are. I will disagree with it. I will stay kind to myself by staying away from them, and kind to them in the same light.

just a thought...

love and peace

fats

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

It depends on how willing you are to let people be the people they are. I cherish individuality which means allowing just that. Clashes are inevitable but it's about politely agreeing to disagree and don't let that get in the way of anything else. Open-/broad-mindedness.
.