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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 17-02-2021, 05:56 PM
anonymousgirL anonymousgirL is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 5
 
I laid tarot about my former best friend

My former best friend is also my ex. We never had a very physical relationship so it was easy to be friends and we became closer as friends than we ever got while dating but due to things getting complicated he walked away about 2 and a half years ago. The friendship was very important to him as he often reminded me but he had a rough patch which caused him to act out multiple times and on top of that I developed feelings for him again and he started to feel guilty about 1. not feeling the same anymore and 2. having hurt me during his difficult time so he had enough and said he felt I was secretly upset with him during an argument we had months later which lead him to believe I was due to a misunderstanding I still wish we could get a chance to clear up.

As much as i've mostly moved on I havent been able to find a better friend than him. I'm very reserved as a person just like him and I find it hard to connect with others, i've tried but never gotten as close to other friends. I've laid tarot asking about our friendship and if it could ever be fixed three times randomly and everytime I got the card "The Lovers"... Which i've never gotten asking about anyone or anything else. What does this mean? I kinda don't interpret The Lovers as only being about relationships but kind of like a soulmate-card is that correct and does it mean we will reconcile since that is what i've asked?
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  #2  
Old 18-02-2021, 04:43 PM
Mused Mused is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 554
 
Those connections sort of happen organically...even if youre a reserved person, there are people out there for you that would be compatible as friends
and if you connected with him you can do so with others too
maybe just put yourself out there and follow your own interests and you might make connections that way
i also think with an ex it can be tricky...theres some baggage there and you can only really be friends friends if those romantic feelings arent there anymore from either side
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  #3  
Old 19-02-2021, 06:24 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 74
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymousgirL
My former best friend is also my ex. We never had a very physical relationship so it was easy to be friends and we became closer as friends than we ever got while dating but due to things getting complicated he walked away about 2 and a half years ago. The friendship was very important to him as he often reminded me but he had a rough patch which caused him to act out multiple times and on top of that I developed feelings for him again and he started to feel guilty about 1. not feeling the same anymore and 2. having hurt me during his difficult time so he had enough and said he felt I was secretly upset with him during an argument we had months later which lead him to believe I was due to a misunderstanding I still wish we could get a chance to clear up.

As much as i've mostly moved on I havent been able to find a better friend than him. I'm very reserved as a person just like him and I find it hard to connect with others, i've tried but never gotten as close to other friends. I've laid tarot asking about our friendship and if it could ever be fixed three times randomly and everytime I got the card "The Lovers"... Which i've never gotten asking about anyone or anything else. What does this mean? I kinda don't interpret The Lovers as only being about relationships but kind of like a soulmate-card is that correct and does it mean we will reconcile since that is what i've asked?
Hello, I'm sorry I am no expert at all about tarot card but the thought came to me if it has come to you that this is your future together, as lovers? Or that lovers is the right card/the heart of your relationship whether you were still a couple or still friends?

There is another perspective I have, which I hope is alright with you. I notice you wrote your ex had gone through a rough path. I wonder if you have worried about him? If you have felt responsible for him? If you are someone who easily feel compassion, empath for someone else?

It seems to me that he was the one to decide what kind of relationship you two were to have. That you placed his feelings in front of yours? This is something you could be so used to doing that you don't even think about it. If you are functioning this way you have to remind yourself of it and you have to even think of re.phrasing yourself, . You don't have to be bossy or selfish, but you have to remind yourself to stand strong, determined in who you are and what you feel. What you think. To recognize yourself more. Not just someone else.
The man you describe having a tough period...I think it can be natural to, when going through that, becomes more selfish. We all kind of do when we are not balanced. We need to heal ourselves before we can help someone else to heal.

I think a true loving boyfriend or a true friend should not have treated you the way he has done. He is not "sober" in his view of you, looking at it from his own troubled perspective.

You deserve more. You deserve to get what you give, for a relationship to be in balance, for you to be respected. It does not work one way, for you to respect only him, and for you to only adjust.

I hope you know you are worth more. Give other people a chance. Being shy or as you say reserved is perfectly fine, you take it in your pace, people understands you more than you think.

Perhaps he will return when he is feeling better but then I would urge you if you would stil then want him back in some shape and form to put up rules, mutual respect being one of them (where I can see he has failed, it looks more like you were there for him, but he was not there for you, possibly becaue he couldnt).

Last edited by asearcher : 20-02-2021 at 05:20 PM.
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  #4  
Old 23-02-2021, 07:37 AM
PhoenixRosa PhoenixRosa is offline
Seeker
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 40
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymousgirL
My former best friend is also my ex. We never had a very physical relationship so it was easy to be friends and we became closer as friends than we ever got while dating but due to things getting complicated he walked away about 2 and a half years ago. The friendship was very important to him as he often reminded me but he had a rough patch which caused him to act out multiple times and on top of that I developed feelings for him again and he started to feel guilty about 1. not feeling the same anymore and 2. having hurt me during his difficult time so he had enough and said he felt I was secretly upset with him during an argument we had months later which lead him to believe I was due to a misunderstanding I still wish we could get a chance to clear up.

As much as i've mostly moved on I havent been able to find a better friend than him. I'm very reserved as a person just like him and I find it hard to connect with others, i've tried but never gotten as close to other friends. I've laid tarot asking about our friendship and if it could ever be fixed three times randomly and everytime I got the card "The Lovers"... Which i've never gotten asking about anyone or anything else. What does this mean? I kinda don't interpret The Lovers as only being about relationships but kind of like a soulmate-card is that correct and does it mean we will reconcile since that is what i've asked?

Every friendship is different and comparing other friendships with this friendship is not very healthy. This is my take on The Lovers:

The Lovers teaches us how to fall in love with ourselves and heal us from subconscious patterns or poor decision making patterns. You are still grieving over this friendship and that is how grief works. We often think we need to fix things with another person to be able to move on, but you really don't need another person to move on or to fix things. Fix things within yourself. Use tarot as healing. Tarot may give you some clarity, but because you are still grieving, a reading for yourself is not objective while you are still in this process. Try and turn your readings into healing yourself. Read the cards for YOU and how you feel. I don't ever ask myself questions like that when I read tarot for myself. I shuffle and lay down three cards and ask the cards what I need to be aware of today or how am I feeling today. Sometimes when I am not feeling well I simply say:

World Above
World Below
Energy Come
Energy Flow
Let the cards show
What it is I need to know.

You turn your reading towards YOURSELF and your grief and get insight this way about you.
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