Originally Posted by anonymousgirL
My former best friend is also my ex. We never had a very physical relationship so it was easy to be friends and we became closer as friends than we ever got while dating but due to things getting complicated he walked away about 2 and a half years ago. The friendship was very important to him as he often reminded me but he had a rough patch which caused him to act out multiple times and on top of that I developed feelings for him again and he started to feel guilty about 1. not feeling the same anymore and 2. having hurt me during his difficult time so he had enough and said he felt I was secretly upset with him during an argument we had months later which lead him to believe I was due to a misunderstanding I still wish we could get a chance to clear up.
As much as i've mostly moved on I havent been able to find a better friend than him. I'm very reserved as a person just like him and I find it hard to connect with others, i've tried but never gotten as close to other friends. I've laid tarot asking about our friendship and if it could ever be fixed three times randomly and everytime I got the card "The Lovers"... Which i've never gotten asking about anyone or anything else. What does this mean? I kinda don't interpret The Lovers as only being about relationships but kind of like a soulmate-card is that correct and does it mean we will reconcile since that is what i've asked?
Hello, I'm sorry I am no expert at all about tarot card but the thought came to me if it has come to you that this is your future together, as lovers? Or that lovers is the right card/the heart of your relationship whether you were still a couple or still friends?
There is another perspective I have, which I hope is alright with you. I notice you wrote your ex had gone through a rough path. I wonder if you have worried about him? If you have felt responsible for him? If you are someone who easily feel compassion, empath for someone else?
It seems to me that he was the one to decide what kind of relationship you two were to have. That you placed his feelings in front of yours? This is something you could be so used to doing that you don't even think about it. If you are functioning this way you have to remind yourself of it and you have to even think of re.phrasing yourself, . You don't have to be bossy or selfish, but you have to remind yourself to stand strong, determined in who you are and what you feel. What you think. To recognize yourself more. Not just someone else.
The man you describe having a tough period...I think it can be natural to, when going through that, becomes more selfish. We all kind of do when we are not balanced. We need to heal ourselves before we can help someone else to heal.
I think a true loving boyfriend or a true friend should not have treated you the way he has done. He is not "sober" in his view of you, looking at it from his own troubled perspective.
You deserve more. You deserve to get what you give, for a relationship to be in balance, for you to be respected. It does not work one way, for you to respect only him, and for you to only adjust.
I hope you know you are worth more.
Give other people a chance. Being shy or as you say reserved is perfectly fine, you take it in your pace, people understands you more than you think.
Perhaps he will return when he is feeling better but then I would urge you if you would stil then want him back in some shape and form to put up rules, mutual respect being one of them (where I can see he has failed, it looks more like you were there for him, but he was not there for you, possibly becaue he couldnt).