Please someone help me? Death by mental suffocation, and now spiritual death

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by RainJQ

I did try to explain in my posts that I'm not in a good mental state and that it's hard for me to see things/think. What exactly am I missing? I'm not "refusing to see" anything.

When we ask you to describe clearly in simple terms what is going on then you respond that your mental states prevent this. And yet you seem able to respond clearly enough when it suits you.

So you talk about spiritual attackers and being hexed, which conveys nothing. I have no doubt that there are such things as psychic attacks, but why might you be the target of such attacks?

Could it be that you have mental and emotional issues which need to be addressed, but you over-dramatise these into being the victim of malevolent forces outside your control? Maybe it is easier for you to play the role of innocent victim rather than taking responsibility for dealing with your own issues.

You may say that we don't understand, and that may well be true. You post a lot of messages crying out for help and attention, but how can we understand when you give so little information to help us?

Peace

[lomax]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Nobody feels bad for you. They've been trying to help and that doesn't make anyone feel bad. Only you feel bad - but, hey-ho, there's no one who's as blind as someone who refuses to see.
.

It's not his fault.I remember going to occult forums,begging for help and people were giving me tips and advises,but for some reason i couldn't follow.My mind was rejecting them automaticaly,seeing only through my own distorted filters.( That damn brain fog)

[RainJQ]

Originally Posted by iamthat

When we ask you to describe clearly in simple terms what is going on then you respond that your mental states prevent this. And yet you seem able to respond clearly enough when it suits you.

So you talk about spiritual attackers and being hexed, which conveys nothing. I have no doubt that there are such things as psychic attacks, but why might you be the target of such attacks?

Could it be that you have mental and emotional issues which need to be addressed, but you over-dramatise these into being the victim of malevolent forces outside your control? Maybe it is easier for you to play the role of innocent victim rather than taking responsibility for dealing with your own issues.

You may say that we don't understand, and that may well be true. You post a lot of messages crying out for help and attention, but how can we understand when you give so little information to help us?

Peace

Certain ways of speaking/conveying info are easier/ingrained in memory. This is the nature of the hex/attack, it leaves me unable to be intelligent or "normal" but leaves me kinda functioning with certain types of speaking and acting easier/simpler by the laws of how the attack works... did what I just say make enough sense?

I've tried to convey that yes, I have my own issues which need to be addressed, but at this point *I need outside help before they can be*. I can't simply try to address them as the circumstances affecting my inner mind will simply be made worse if I try to. I like to leave certain pieces of my mind un-accessed so that my spiritual attackers leave them alone.

I tried to say that my abuse gives me a unique mental situation, and I believe that is the reason I am being attacked this way. People viewing me outside, the way I shut off and became reserved, along with my lifelong behavior and the fact I was of high IQ back then, may have seen me and my family as an enemy that needed to be taken care of. I would tell everyone what exactly is going on with me but I know you can't trust everyone... the reason I say "don't feel bad for me" now is because of my abuse-caused mental state. I'm on the verge of simply telling you what my state is as I have learned more about it.

I can see your PoV, as well as I can in my current state. I'm calling out for attention and help and it's hard not to make an idiot out of myself in ways I would've feared.

I'm gonna post this and say more in another post

[RainJQ]

I know not everyone is willing to lend an arm out when they have so much going on in their lives already. I understood this better in the past.

Here, I'll explain more of my internal situation:

It's such that I felt guilty talking to anyone or interacting with anyone, because I was so shut off and reserved inside compared to them. I harbored a lot of negativity and dehumanized myself. I couldn't see a way out as I didn't know much about therapy and thought going would alert my father that something was seriously wrong with me, and I feared hurting him so badly when he had so much going on already. The me he'd known his whole life as a lie. If it weren't for him I would've just come out publicly with my situation.

Basically, I look normal on the outside, and I did back then, but on the inside I am different in a certain way only I understood.

Everything in the world, everything I enjoyed, was built upon people who lived normally/healthily. I felt guilty, like a parasite, interacting with media and games and communities other people made for other people like them... I valued honesty and really being there so much. I didn't want to deceive anyone, and I do so now, only because I realized I had to as life wouldn't just freeze/pause for me and I saw/see no other way.

I was in this state for about 2-3 months before the hex began, and the nature of the hex is that the whole of what you consider a soul isn't there. It's not fair, not being able to grow or deal with yourself or your emotions normally.


I retrained my brain and held myself together in patchwork ways to not fall apart and to still be able to articulate normally and remember things that would help me piece myself back together, and ig some of that shows but considering I've been under spiritual attack and slipping it's just dishonesty at this point. I'm not fully here.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by RainJQ

I can see your PoV, as well as I can in my current state. I'm calling out for attention and help and it's hard not to make an idiot out of myself in ways I would've feared.

I'm gonna post this and say more in another post

Thanks for your response. I think that we all fear coming across as idiots, even on an online forum among people we will never meet in person. There is an idiot in each one of us, and part of our growth is learning to accept and love our inner idiot.

Incidentally, the teacher Gurdjieff had a classification of 21 types of idiot, and his pupils had to work out what type of idiot they were.

Peace

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by RainJQ

I was in this state for about 2-3 months before the hex began, and the nature of the hex is that the whole of what you consider a soul isn't there. It's not fair, not being able to grow or deal with yourself or your emotions normally. ... I'm not fully here.

Thanks also for the additional information about your internal situation.

In Shamanism there is a process called Soul Retrieval. The idea is that when people experience trauma then a part of their Soul fractures and gets lost. Whether we label these dissociated parts of ourselves as parts of the Soul or aspects of the personal psyche, the result is a lack of wholeness. The Shaman goes on a shamanic journey to retrieve these lost parts.

I have no personal experience of this, but this may be worth you looking into, if you have not already done so. There is plenty of information online, as well as books about it.

Peace

[lomax]

Rainjq@
Let's start with the basics first.

What do you eat?Do you follow a healthy diet?Do you eat processed foods sugar and fats?

[RainJQ]

Originally Posted by lomax

Rainjq@
Let's start with the basics first.

What do you eat?Do you follow a healthy diet?Do you eat processed foods sugar and fats?

I do eat processed foods, yes sugar and fats. I haven't been the healthiest lately. I also eat fruit. My diet is kind of all over the place.

[RainJQ]

Can someone understanding/willing to understand and with a way for me to pay them please do me a favour? I just need someone to call up the person who due to a very bad misunderstanding sent these spiritual attackers after me, but the only way to contact them I can see if via paid call to their tarot service.

I have stuff I want you to tell them. I think that if they are capable of helping, they would be willing to.

[lomax]

Originally Posted by RainJQ

I do eat processed foods, yes sugar and fats. I haven't been the healthiest lately. I also eat fruit. My diet is kind of all over the place.

Little can touch you if your immune sustem is strong enough.It can trash out low level entities,parasites,and even curses.But you'll have to treat it well.
Try a diet free of sugar,oil,salt,fats and processed foods,and you'll notice the difference after the fourth-fifth day.I know you'll ignore it,but at least i have to try.