I'm scared of death

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Orion_Lion

...I meant that I'm scared of the end of my life as in maybe the last 10-15 years when my parents have passed on, and that I'm scared of the grief that I'll go through when my mom and dad pass on..... Last night was very intense, the grief for my cousin came on so suddenly and with power. I don't know why I felt like I was physically dying though..

You may be surprised by how you feel after your parents have passed on. My mother died in 2008 and my father in 2015. Naturally I was sad for my loss but my understanding of death kept things in perspective. They had no real spiritual inclinations, and I was curious about how they had found the process of leaving their bodies. And I was grateful that they had both died after a brief illness while still being physically active and with all their mental faculties.

Since they died I have felt a greater sense of independence on a personal level. It has been quite liberating. It is not that I am glad they have gone, but the subtle habitual ties of the parent-child relationship have been cut. Even though I was in my 50s when they died, the conditioning of childhood goes very deep, and it can be hard to change old patterns of how we relate to our parents. So I have been enjoying a certain freedom in myself.

As for your grief for your cousin, as Native spirit says, anything can suddenly trigger off grief, it arises and it passes. And over time the intensity will fade.

Peace

[Starman]

It is only that which refers to ourselves that fears losing ourselves. The “I,” me, or my, that reflects on what I appear to be has thoughts and feelings about itself, including fears. But there is no “I” me or my; those are just references.

We are already part of the whole, we are already where we are going when our body dies. In this physical world everything, and everyone, wears a mask, a covering, and at the time of physical death that covering is removed.

In many cases the removal of the covering looks awful; life leaves it and it shrivels Understand that you are life inhabiting a body. Identify with your inner self more than your outer self. Death is really just like changing your clothes. It is only the body that feels pain.

Quiet your mind. Fear comes from what we think, or feel, is going to happen next, so live in the moment where fear can not exist. On your death bed keep your attention in the here and now and go with every breath you take until your last.

Your soul is not afraid as in physical death it is returning to where it was before it took a human birth here on Earth. The only thing that is afraid is our ego; that in us which refers to us, the “I”, me, and my, of our being. Human death is very safe.

It is only those who are enmeshed with their physical body that experiences what the physical body goes through at the time of human death. If you can detach, or at least disassociate, with your physical body, your experience of the bodily transition will not be that great.

It is called “graceful passages,” or graceful dying. There are many cultures that practice seeing themselves die while they are still alive. See your self dead or dying now, imagine yourself dead and have compassion for your self to help desensitize your fearful feelings that you may be having now.

Peace and Good Journey

[Starman]

Iamthat, your previous post is very heartfelt and I can relate to it.
Thank you for sharing such intimacy.

Peace

[hazada guess]

Starman,your post #12 is excellent.

[lostsoul13]

I fear death also but it’s like 24 hours of pain that we endure for a lifetime of relaxing… it’s kinda equal and equivalent in distance and endurance…

[Starman]

There is death and there is dying; we are all going through the death process everyday of our human lives. Cells in our physical body are coming and going into existence from the day we are born here on Earth. This is all part of the dying process, and yet life flourishes within us.

Dying is the process of leaving while death is after you have left. The concerns of dying involves two things; 1) The time that we die and 2) The method by which we die. The time that we die can be as a young person or an older person. These are related to how long a person has their physical body, what is their longevity. Some people do want to live a long life while others prefer to die young, they seem to want to avoid old age.

Then there is the method of death; suicide, homicide, terminal illness that leads to death, sudden death without warning, a very painful death or a very painless smooth transition. I have seen lots of people die; as an army medic in a war, an ambulance paramedic, and working in a hospital. Death in a war looks a lot different then death in a hospital. As an ambulance paramedic working in the Denver metro area I saw people die in all sorts of ways.

Some people die with a smile on their face and light in their eyes while others die in great fear and anguish. If there are medical people present, most likely they will have some sort of pain relief medication. In Vietnam during war medics carried morphine with them, ambulance paramedics also carry pain meds in their vehicle. Sometimes the only thing you can do is keep a person comfortable while they are dying.

In talking to people I have found that lots of people prefer to die in their sleep, others want to have time to say goodbye to their loved ones, and still others want it to be quick. Dying does scare more people then death itself. Dying can have a feeling of losing oneself. If we have a deep relationship with our inner being, we can receive some indication intuitively about how and when we are going to die. I have had many people tell me about that inner message.

[PecaS]

Originally Posted by Orion_Lion

I'm scared of the end of my life it really hurts
There's a voice in my head that says I won't die naturally. It says I won't be strong enough to withstand the pain of life and I'll just go.

Hello There!

I understand you a lot. it is scary regardless of how much you have read, learned and heard here and there. there is no "fool proof" evidence about what lies beyond the veil

but isn't there?

Existence beyond the veil is real, it is not something that has been "popular" in their study like love and peace. Scholars just can't risk their reputation when studying them because there is no way to verify their findings.

I can tell you that I KNOW without the shadow of a doubt that there IS life after death. that "punishment" for things that you should not do, or what we call "sins" that go against love, mercy, piety are not what we think they are.

But there is nothing to fear and I, as someone who is beginning to recover from a devastating loss and several years of being a caretaker, can tell you also that one of the things that are the hardest to overcome are the feelings of fear, insecurity, anguish and all the fears that were enraved in you while you were a child.

But you will move forward. Whether it is as a survivor or as a transitioned soul.

I can also share with you that, in my experience, what people fear the most are events that they cant control such as pain and the loss of bodily functions On these you have little control, but there is STILL some control. AND I DO NOT MEAN VOLUNTARY TERMINATION. Excercise, a positive attitude, strength, temperance and knowledge can guide you in the path of the type of death you wish .

[Busby]

Originally Posted by Orion_Lion

I'm scared of the end of my life it really hurts

You were 'dead' until you were born.

We were, seemingly, 'here' long before the universe became evident in the sense we know of it today.
In fact assuming the latest discussions on consciousness are to be in any way translated into the reality we know today to be dead is simply another form of existence.
It may well of course be that you were in a sort of hell before you appeared into this world - but most people would suggest that it was your own fault.

Just make sure this time.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by Starman

Iamthat, your previous post is very heartfelt and I can relate to it. Thank you for sharing such intimacy.

Thanks, Starman. The death of a parent can bring out a wide range of inner responses, and I suspect that others may experience something similar.

And given the increasing numbers of the elderly who are living for longer, the issues of family expectations and family obligations are unlikely to go away.

Peace

[OldChap]

Originally Posted by Orion_Lion

I've had at least 7 deaths in my family the past 2 years and at least 5 of them the last year. Going on 8 now with my cousin in law.

I feel like I'm dying

I totally get where you are coming from. Not easy to bear in your situation.

But take a break from that sadness knowing that a part of their soul energies remains here with you and with mother Earth.

You are never alone.

And death is like moving onto the next chapter and be in the next amazing adventure in the book of life where you will begin in a fresh new body.

Relax and enjoy the adventures. Your soul is eternal and is a part of God/Source/Prime Creator. This is not your first rodeo, but by design you don't remember while in the human form.

All the best!