Lumbering my Christmas tree .. I’m a lumberjack

[lostsoul13]

Lol I’m not exactly, it was potted and tied up but I’m lumbered it all the way back home..

My decorations went up yesterday around 6 ish..

A real Christmas tree.. smelling of pine although I can’t smell it for the life of me.. maybe in another life..

I have found memories of Christmas, waking up with Carly with stocking filled, exploring the fruit and chocolate, presents.. new bike riding it in the snow and falling off.. lol couldn’t find the brakes..

We did well.. we use to stare at the mound of presents in our foster home.. we never really got to open them I think we were living in inserts, everything was a dream at those moments…

But we explored.. I know how I was feeling- overwhelmed by Santa decorations and what oh wonderful was this white stuff- snow!!

Lol

But as I traded in the sandwich theory we wore waistcoats and shirts with our front teeth missing only fangs left to the imagination…

We danced ballroom.. with an older partner..

Cameras were disposable in those days!

Oh the photographs!!

I burnt them but I know there are still some around somewhere with foster parents and friends..

I figured they were in my mind enough but turns out I was evicted and left all my stuff behind.. so lucky I did!!

I miss them come Christmas time all the spirit and cheer and fun we had..

I’m happy I got to spend Christmas with them and saw what the reaction was and the things we learned together..

My spirit might had been anchored to them but I could understand everything they were feeling.. I suppose it happened because I wished for it to happen/ pain or no pain, luckily it wasn’t much pain but the burn to the foot.

I carried that mark with me for a long time..

Sigh…

I make sure to try and be extra festive when Christmas time is because I’ve got there memories to cherish, I was up my local grocery store having a full English this morning and Christmas songs we’re playing while I sipped my cappuccino…

I was so full and content.. even carrying my Christmas tree home and decorating it with presents under it..

I got Twilight complete book set by Stephanie Myers’s so it always reminds me of our future life’s together, when we turn in to vampires and have big house and rich.. our clan back together with friends that are facing similar changes..

It’s enriching..

While Christmas is about family, poor, giving and children I’ll be celebrating my last year in the hostel and looking to go on with supported accommodation…

I signed up to local housing organisation that does new build apartments for good price per month.. hoping something will come up in the next year and I can bid for one..

It’s been a hard 5 years in and out of hospital and hostel for almost two years..

But I’ve come a long way..

I miss them so much but never will I be granted a wish or dream like I’ve been granted in my first couple of years in life.. it gives me strength and hope for the future…

I’m hoping you’ll have a merry festive December!!!

[Lynn]

Hello

We all have our stories and personal stories, and our challenges in life but its life and it is what we make of it that defines us.

We can all look back and see where we were and from that see where we want to go. The main thing is that you do keep moving forwards. Seeing that there is a future for you.

I wish you health and happines for 2023 I feel that we can "all" use a break in life and life's path. Its been a hard time with Covid 19 and other world issues, I feel its time for change and that change is in the winds coming. Time to support others more and for the powers that be to give out that hand up not so much that hand out that does nothing.

I have hopes for 2023 where in 2022 I honestly wondered in that "what if" aspects a bit too much.

Lynn

[lostsoul13]

Thanks lynn

I think Because I’ve spent time with them I’m more ready for the seclusion that comes with reincarnation… I know there’s many things I have to put right before reuniting…

But Christmas is my favourite time of the year..

Opening a present for everyday of December and chocolates or novelty- things they would have laughed at personal things like muscle apron going back to when I was stuck in Carly.

Everything happens for a reason. I’m just looking forward to the future…

Merry Christmas

[AngelBlue]

.... lostsoul....
Such a beautifully and emotional written account of Christmas , and in many ways, it's true meaning.

I think Christmas is such a poignant and meaningful time for most of us for many varied different reasons ...

I hope you get so much pleasure from your Christmas tree and seasons greetings and the very best wishes to you....

[lostsoul13]

Thanks angelblue : I really try to remember the good times, it was so festive, exciting and unknown- to wake up to all the Santa decorations ect was unworldly.. great sentiments come from that time of year: and I’m just glad got to spend Christmas with them- I hold on to the memories like they are snow globes.. and shake them now and then…

Hard to remove the memories.. stuck with me forever now..