Torn over connection :(

[Miko]

Hello everyone. I recently got into a relationship with a very spiritual guy. He has a lot or preference for middle eastern philosophies and I am more New Age. We fell in love quickly, and have a very strong connection. When he would think about me, I could feel it. When he was sad, I would know without even having to be there. We practically lived together for about 3 weeks.. but then things were really intense and we argued alot. I broke up with him because I felt like he was being too controlling. After a week of utter depression, I called him back in hopes to work things out. I was really happy to find that he still loved me, and although scared, seemed willing to want to work things out again. He was really depressed that week too, and could not get out of bed for days. I felt the same way, I just came home, collapsed on the couch and couldn't do anything.

I think the guy might be bipolar, though. I was happy initially today, but a wave of depression hit me around 4 or 5 pm. I couldn't take the sadness anymore and texted him.. turned out he was depressed. But he won't tell me what he is depressed about. I feel it is something with us or me, but I'm not sure and I asked him but he won't tell me. He just says he's bored with his life. And I'm hoping he's not bored with me. But I don't like for him to think that I worry too much about our relationship a lot because I know I do.

I don't know what to do.. I'm very torn. I love him, but don't know what to do for him. He expects all these things out of me, but it's hard when you are a single mom with a full time job. I can't just jump in my car and drive out to see him, when he's like an hour away.. on a school night.

I've never had a connection with someone like this, and I don't want to lose him... so I was hoping someone could give me some advice or input or feedback. I'd really appreciate it.

Hmm, just ask him if he has time later on(when you have time) to go do something fun. I know when I'm depressed(I'm also bipolar) these kind of invitations always help me to feel better.

[Miko]

yeah I told him I wanted to take him out tomorrow night but he said that's the last thing he wants.. he has me pretty confused.. but I think he may just need a job or something. He's been out of work for a couple of weeks. At least that's what I'm hoping it is.

[Miko]

oops, that just made him more angry... ugh. I hate my life so much sometimes

Originally Posted by Miko

oops, that just made him more angry... ugh. I hate my life so much sometimes

So you made a suggestion to help him and he got angry with you for that suggestion and then you go to hating your life cause of it? Is this what love is about or a healthy relationship? Either way, if it is something more psychological with him, maybe medication might also help since conventional ways don't seem to really work. I wish you luck!!

[Teal]

I had a friend who was bipolar I guess there are several types of it? Medication helped him. He explained to me that his thoughts got jumbled up in his head. Just be careful if you mention seeing a doc and meds. He could not take that well

[onetruebeliever]

Originally Posted by tealtwist

I had a friend who was bipolar I guess there are several types of it? Medication helped him. He explained to me that his thoughts got jumbled up in his head. Just be careful if you mention seeing a doc and meds. He could not take that well

The different faces of bipolar disorder

Bipolar I Disorder (mania or a mixed episode) – The classic manic-depressive form of the illness, characterized by at least one manic episode or mixed episode. Usually—but not always—Bipolar I Disorder also involves at least one episode of depression.

Bipolar II Disorder (hypomania and depression) – In Bipolar II disorder, the person doesn’t experience full-blown manic episodes. Instead, the illness involves episodes of hypomania and severe depression.

Cyclothymia (hypomania and mild depression) – Cyclothymia is a milder form of bipolar disorder. It consists of cyclical mood swings. However, the symptoms are less severe than full-blown mania or depression.

Bipolar disorder is a spectrum illness, meaning that are many, many levels and many symptoms overlap. Everyone's symptoms are different. Medications are prescribed based on the symptoms presented.

My son is BP1. His is the early onset type which is very severe, very hard to treat(he was born with it). Medication is needed to stabilize. Bipolar disorder affects every aspect of the sufferer's life.

It's much more than your guy just needing a job. Don't take what he says personally - it is his illness making him lash out. After meds and maybe some therapy, he will be on a more even keel and more pleasant to be around. The meds take 6 - 8 weeks to reach a theraputic level, but a teeny improvement is noticeable within a few days.

[Miko]

Originally Posted by Altair

So you made a suggestion to help him and he got angry with you for that suggestion and then you go to hating your life cause of it? Is this what love is about or a healthy relationship? Either way, if it is something more psychological with him, maybe medication might also help since conventional ways don't seem to really work. I wish you luck!!

yes, I think we both have some issues :/ I'm a bit neurotic and beat myself up over everything I do. and he seems to be moody (even though he refuses to admit it). He eventually talked to me last night and told me that he is aware that we have issues, but is willing to cope with them. So I guess I'm going to have to as well..

he wouldn't take meds or anything, however, he's really into nutrition and refuses to see doctors.. :/

he's going to Miami this weekend so hopefully he'll start to feel better when he gets out of his house and does some work and all.

thanks for advice everyone :)