Broken Heart -

#1 06-12-2014, 05:03 AM

I broke up with my boyfriend mid-September. And I cried a few times, then I sucked it up and went about what I needed to do. But it seems now I am really having a hard time with it all, I keep replaying certain 'memories' and thinking I should have done this or I should have said that. And I don't understand how someone can say they mean the world to you and then the next week call you a **tch. Its those types of unanswered questions that I am having a hard time with. I hate feeling sad all the time, I hate feeling like I am going to cry every time I turn around. I want to be happy again.

I have started a notebook/journal if you will of all the things that I want to say to him in a letter that I will probably never send to him, maybe I will just pretend to send it to him and actually just send it to a friend.

Do you all have any suggestion on how i can 'heal' or get on with me being happy?

Thanks in advance

TheReason · #2 06-12-2014, 05:58 AM

Hi there,

First of all, this isn't unusual. Many times when we experience heartbreak or pain, we tend to tuck it away at the time. We shove it down into a deep hole somewhere and cover it with dirt. The thing is, we haven't dealt with it and eventually it's going to come to the surface. When it does, all the memories and feelings come flooding back. Then we start questioning and analyzing and overall feel terrible. Our minds blow the whole thing out of proportion.

So, the first thing to realize is, you must deal with this and this wound needs to be healed. Otherwise, it's going to continue to affect your life, and walls will be built.

I want to say that I have been in a relationship with this type of person too. The rollercoaster that never ends, and it can be so amazing one minute and the worst thing ever the next. What have I learned? It's not worth it, no matter how amazing the amazing part is. This person has some ego issues they need to face and that will be dealt with in their own timing. We can't "fix" these souls, they will grow in their own time.

I learned recently that we can love someone, and they can love us, but that does not mean the two belong together. This isn't the type of relationship that you truly deserve. You deserve someone that loves you, and is good to you - not just 50% of the time, but 100% of the time. No relationship is perfect - no person is perfect, but the love you need in a true soulmate is someone that you can be yourself with and feel loved - even the parts of you that aren't as easy to love. This goes both ways of course.

People like us are often times attracted to people like the man you were in a relationship with... heaven knows I've made that choice several times. But it's time to choose differently, and wait for someone that truly treats you right.

It's okay to feel this pain, but it's time now to get back up and heal. Take the good that you've learned from this experience, and let go of the rest. Better times are ahead. It's okay to cry, but then put some good music on, look in the mirror, and see how much stronger you've become.

#3 06-12-2014, 11:50 PM

Where you said it's not worth, I know its not worth it...HE isn't worth it and I guess that's why I feel so silly crying and feeling so hurt...

I just want to be able to get up and get over it. Find someone who does appreciate me for who I am.

LadyMay · #4 07-12-2014, 12:38 AM

You have to give yourself time to grieve. No one can just get up and pretend nothing has happened. You can't move on until you acknowledge the pain to yourself. Otherwise it'll keep coming back to haunt you.

There's no need to feel ashamed of feeling so silly over your feelings about this.. it's very natural and a healthy thing to do. Let yourself cry.. it will make you feel much better.

Crying all you got is the fastest way to get over something.. not over it.. but through it.

It'll make you stronger.

rasheedam9112 · #5 07-10-2019, 08:58 PM

sometimes it hard to get over a if you feel like you have to cry cry.... I started to love myself more

JRL09 · #6 20-10-2019, 06:03 PM

Yes that's a good to just let it go. I remember being in a similar break up situation after a long term relationship. It took me three months to let go of the pain I felt, which I did with a self affirmation, but as soon as I did that, I met someone new that same day.