Children need to properly call parents as Mother and Father for better development?

[MidasCloud]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Why put mandarin words down that people don't understand

Interestingly, the father's parents in Chinese has Grandfather placed first, while that for the mother's parents has Grandmother placed first. This also correlates with how a child grows up in a single-father home is like calling Grandparents-father's-side with Parent Relationship Temperament, or how a child grows up in a single mother home is like calling Grandparents-mother's-side with Parent Relationship Temperament.

[Traveler]

Originally Posted by MidasCloud

Certain children, after learning just to talk, are taken care of by a babysitter while parents are at work. This can be very confusing for the children, especially when they haven't identified who their mother and father are. If the child identifies the babysitter or kindergarten teacher as the parent, then that can affect the child permanently as he or she grows into adulthood; this effect carries with the person his entire life.

It is quite common and normal (ask any child development expert) for very young children (1-2 years old) to call their caregivers mommy and daddy even if they're the nanny, aunt, uncle or grandparent. The reason is their limited vocabulary and limited understanding of language and the fact that they associate people who they love and who take care of them and love them must be mommy and daddy. My niece would call me mommy when she was little when I visited her. It didn't mean anything other than she loved me and knew I loved her like her mommy.

[MidasCloud]

Originally Posted by Traveler

It is quite common and normal (ask any child development expert) for very young children (1-2 years old) to call their caregivers mommy and daddy even if they're the nanny, aunt, uncle or grandparent.

There is a voice with Parent Relationship Temperament, and it's advisable for children to call their parents with the Parent Relationship Temperament voice, and not with Friend Relationship Temperament voice. However, if the child often stays with a babysitter or kindergarten teacher when young, then he or she is likely to identify with the babysitter or teacher with Parent Relationship Temperament voice. In this case, the child might feel repressed Anger, which affects their thinking and behaviors.

[Traveler]

Originally Posted by MidasCloud

There is a voice with Parent Relationship Temperament, and it's advisable for children to call their parents with the Parent Relationship Temperament voice, and not with Friend Relationship Temperament voice. However, if the child often stays with a babysitter or kindergarten teacher when young, then he or she is likely to identify with the babysitter or teacher with Parent Relationship Temperament voice. In this case, the child might feel repressed Anger, which affects their thinking and behaviors.

I politely and respectfully disagree with you as do child development experts. If the child has such a horrible relationship with their parents that they're not calling them mom and dad, then that is a completely separate issue all together and probably is the result of severe neglect or abuse by the parents.

Thinking of a caregiver as warm, loving and nurturing like mom and dad and calling them that sometimes, is not a bad thing either for young kids. It means they trust them. It means that you can probably trust the adults you entrusted the care of your child to.

You are quoting from a site that has pulled information from Neale Walsch. A writer who has a background in studying theology, not child development. In my humble opinion, he does not have the background, education or authority to be giving advice on how to raise children or advise on their psycho-emotional development, other than the fact that he has raised 9 children. Which I'm assuming have made it to adulthood without too much dysfunction caused by their father's beliefs.

There are lots of unqualified people writing books about raising children or giving advice who are horrible at it and who frankly should be in jail for the trauma that their advice has caused. I'm thinking specifically of Michael and Debi Pearl and their book, "To Train Up a Child" where they specifically recommend beating children as an acceptable form of discipline to 'break their will' and gain compliance and obedience. Children have died at the hands of caretakers taking their advice literally and sometimes too far. These people are not child psychologists or child behaviorist, and their advice is dangerous.

As parents, we are going to be presented with many challenges while raising our children and we must decide frequently "Is this a hill I'm willing to die on?" and the kid calling me by my 1st name or calling the sitter she sees everyday, mommy sometimes, ain't it. Not letting the kid, as a teenager, drink and drive? Yeah, absolutely because that's a dangerous situation. Letting the kid go outside without a jacket because she's being "two" even though it's cold outside and we're already late for our appointment? Sure, why not? But I'm going to take her jacket along anyway so when she does get cold she can put it on.

[MidasCloud]

Originally Posted by Traveler

I politely and respectfully disagree with you as do child development experts. If the child has such a horrible relationship with their parents that they're not calling them mom and dad, then that is a completely separate issue all together and probably is the result of severe neglect or abuse by the parents.

It's possible for the child to call parents with Parent Relationship Temperament voice, even when suffering emotional abuse. However, such children often have post-traumatic disorder like symptoms, such as inexplicable fear at unpredictable moments.

For children who have associated a babysitter or kindergarten teacher with Parent Relationship Temperament voice, and while the child will address the parents as mom and dad, the voice is that of Friend Relationship Temperament voice, instead of Parent Relationship Temperament voice. Such children can still be successful in careers and relationships, though will often have Anger emotional repression, which affects their thinking and behaviors.

On the other hand, children who have associated their grandparents with Parent Relationship Temperament voice, or who only identify one parent with Parent Relationship Temperament voice, will have Sadness Emotional Repression affecting their thinking and behaviors.