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When one realise one make same mistake...
I have done two things in life that has I guess effect something in my previous relationship and too in a current relationship, as I had not learn anything, and when ask why I have behaved this way I have not been able to give a good answer before.
After lots of thinking I think I finally got it, it has been the fear of rejection.
Can't believe it can be that strong as it has been for me.
In the relationship with the ex it was already over when I decided not to do anything which is a decision in itself, and in my case it was to share a secret he was entitled to know.
The other thing that happened in the current relationship was that I kept something from him, someone close to him that took apparently pleasure in behaving badly towards me in secret.
In both relationships me not saying anything in fear of rejection instead fired back.
I guess the ex would have had a better understanding what was going on with me.
My current has said he wish I had said something before instead of carrying this secret for so long, that he now understands. I wish I understood before...
My romantic feelings has been effected in the past relationship, the secret having the function of a wall between us, as in when he tried to communicate to me, and too in this relationship.
Looking from it from that perspective help me understand that me "punishing" someone for something I have kept from them from knowing, and being able to act and do the right thing, never was able to happen, as my fear of rejection decided everything.
Actually, owning my responsibility about this, feels lot better, than before =)
Last edited by asearcher : 11-03-2021 at 07:05 PM.
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