Hi guys!! My ame is Juli, I am 32
I have a terrible phobia during 20 years. Blushig (+tremor, social enxiaty etc). But blushing is the most awfull.
I need advice, help I guess... about my main phobia - blushing
It began when I was 12, free young girl. It was in the subway. I was sitting in front of a man. And I decided to "play one funny game" - I just started to look at him, to his eyes. It was so funny before and so easy. So, I am looking at him, he up his eyes at me and started also looked at me. For some moment it was funny, but suddenly I begin to feel an growing anxious shame and embarassement. I started to blush... I felt so deep blushing come from my body up to my face. It seemed I even heard a blood preasure in my ears (who blush - he knows what am I talking about) I looked down, I didn’t know where to look, I wanted to rush and run away, so awfull strong this shame was, and he cotinued to look!! then maybe he felt a pity to me but he ended to look at me. Since that day my life became a hell. He BROKED me. From normal child in a month I become a pitiful creature blushing 24 hours per day. in every situation where I was not alone. Hell!!!
now I am 32. I used to this phobia, it became less awfull then when I was 13. But nothing helped to get rid of it.
The situation now (become worse again). I cannot sit in front of somebody for example in subway. Because often even a brief look at me - and I become to blush (red as a beet, I watched it in mirror several times). Cant sit on table with even relatives, on holidays - because an easy question to me or paying attention on me and I started deeply blush... everybody see it, my shame, thay also feel confusion because of me, sometimes can say "sorry Julia..." and I want to die in such moments... among friends - somebody is telling something about me "oh, Julia, bla bla" or just joking at me - I started to deeply blush!!! just because they LOOK AT ME and I am in the centre of attention!!
Or I can walk on street, and if there is someone in front of me, on the street, especcially boys, while I approach at them I started to blush as a beet, they loughed at me several times etc. real hell ((
I am 32, life is destroyed. no job, family, boyfriend. because of this... the trigger thought, is "I am being looked at", or "he (she, they) looke at me".
I tried EFT to my memories about the most awfull blushing situations, to that first situation with a man is the subway etc, but NO result. Can you help me, what phrase, HOW should I tip?... I am desperate.
Soryy of terrible english, Ju
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