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Originally Posted by ~Lioness~
What do you think about self-control and calmness? I really haven't been able to access it fully yet. Traumatic childhood tends to weight on my thoughts and I feel insecure. Ugh.
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Meditation is an excellent tool for calmness and self-control. Calmness develops over time if we persist in our practice. Which involves letting go of our story and letting go of our resistance.
As Byron Katie would say, you tell yourself a story about your traumatic childhood and you believe that story. And so you suffer. Who would you be without your story?
This does not mean pretending that the past never happened. But whatever happened happened. Maybe we resist our past. Maybe we tell ourselves that certain events should not have happened, certain people should not have done whatever they did. But they did. If we hold on to our story then we remain trapped by the past, which now is just a thought in our head.
But what if we stop resisting everything? And we learn to love the reality of the present just as it is. There is no need for it to be any different. Wanting things to be other than they are only makes us unhappy. We can still take action to change our reality but without the resistance to whatever is.
And from this we find serenity and calmness. The title of Byron Katie's first book says it all -
Loving What Is.
Peace