I Don't Care What It Takes...

BlakeGood88 · #1 12-12-2024, 07:37 AM

I just want to relive this life again. Not as myself, but as my twin sister that I never had. I'm not sure how the spiritual plane works but I don't want any other life. No life in the future, no other family, just this life again. I feel like being myself again wouldn't serve any purpose. I already suffer from gender dysphoria and being a boy again would only make that worse. I already don't like my current life and how things have been.

My grandma who was very close to me, just died tonight from a massive stroke. She was 77 and besides my mother, I hardly get any support from my family. I get very depressed, especially when I'm at my house, with only my two cats. It's already bad enough I lost my grandpa in 2021 and my uncle in 2022 and now my grandpa. All of them came from my mother's side of the family. I would find zero value if my next life will have nothing to do with this one. I just want this one back. I feel like I missed out on a lot of opportunities and that's not enough to let me move forward to another life. This life feels very incomplete and when it's all said and done, I will not achieve full potential from this life. It honestly feels like a dud that shouldn't have been. I haven't achieved anything in 12 years, other than moving out of my parents house, which isn't true because I still come back, a lot. In fact, I'm staying right now, because of my grandma's passing. She was very nice to me and treated me a lot better than my other current grandma. My higher self needs to know this and I want to make sure he/she/it understands that! I have no desire to have a different family, regardless of the time peroid being the past, present, or future.

I just want the same scenario and family again. The only difference being I'm not going be the same person again, why would I? I mean, this is supposed to be an alternate experience from another person within the same family, except she doesn't exist in this reality. This timeline has been awful for me for the past 10 years and the last 4 years have been the abolute worst! I don't ask for much, just a simple "do-over", that's all.

Miss Hepburn · #2 12-12-2024, 10:47 PM

Oh no, I'm so sorry you lost your grandma last night.

Native spirit · #3 13-12-2024, 10:13 PM

I'm sorry you lost your grandmother, hating this life and wanting to come back as another person,
I'm sure many people would want the same thing,
Life is hard it is not easy but you have to make the best of what you have,

Have you been to see your doctor about how you are feeling you sound depressed to me.

Namaste