Grievance system

In Matthew 18, Jesus says that if there is a problem between two Christians, the they should speak with each other. If it isn't resolved then, you ask for 1 or 2 more witnesses, and if the problems still isn't resolved, you bring it to the whole church.

This teaching is so helpful in terms of maintaining honest and deep relationships. Unfortunately, today the world is more interested in shallow relationships.

Resolving conflict, whether it be with your friend, or your spouse, or your spiritual brother/sister, can be hard, but what the other choice? A flat, dishonest relationship, that will break at the first sign of trouble.

What's challenging abou this teachings is that we need to be willing to face our fear or rejections, our fear of not being the nice guy, and our fear of loosing those whom we love, through our honest communication.

Jesus also spoke about the need to go to our brother if we think/remember he has something against us (Matthew 5). This is love.

When we go to someone whom we know has tension towards us, we show we are willing to seek reconcilliation above everything. We have to be examining ourselves to even THINK about going to someone we have offended.

Anyway, there is so much scope for trying to seek deeper relationships in our lives, and working through tensions with people is one of the best ways to do this.

If people aren't interested in reconcilliation, in hearing the truth about themselves, or bringing their tension up with you, then I think at least in our own minds, we need to recongnize that love is not very high on their priorities.

I would like to see people trying to put this into more practice in thier lives, and on this forum.

I am keen to hear people's thoughts/experiences/lessons learn't, by trying to seek reconcilliation by working through tensions.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by ciel_perdu

In Matthew 18, Jesus says that if there is a problem between two Christians, the they should speak with each other. If it isn't resolved then, you ask for 1 or 2 more witnesses, and if the problems still isn't resolved, you bring it to the whole church.

This teaching is so helpful in terms of maintaining honest and deep relationships. Unfortunately, today the world is more interested in shallow relationships.

Resolving conflict, whether it be with your friend, or your spouse, or your spiritual brother/sister, can be hard, but what the other choice? A flat, dishonest relationship, that will break at the first sign of trouble.

What's challenging abou this teachings is that we need to be willing to face our fear or rejections, our fear of not being the nice guy, and our fear of loosing those whom we love, through our honest communication.

Jesus also spoke about the need to go to our brother if we think/remember he has something against us (Matthew 5). This is love.

When we go to someone whom we know has tension towards us, we show we are willing to seek reconcilliation above everything. We have to be examining ourselves to even THINK about going to someone we have offended.

Anyway, there is so much scope for trying to seek deeper relationships in our lives, and working through tensions with people is one of the best ways to do this.

If people aren't interested in reconcilliation, in hearing the truth about themselves, or bringing their tension up with you, then I think at least in our own minds, we need to recongnize that love is not very high on their priorities.

I would like to see people trying to put this into more practice in thier lives, and on this forum.

I am keen to hear people's thoughts/experiences/lessons learn't, by trying to seek reconcilliation by working through tensions.

Thanks.

I really do enjoy your posts ciel_perdu,

In regards to:

In Matthew 18, Jesus says that if there is a problem between two Christians, the they should speak with each other. If it isn't resolved then, you ask for 1 or 2 more witnesses, and if the problems still isn't resolved, you bring it to the whole church.

I once had it brought to my attention that a fellow Christian and youth teacher in our church was having an affair and committing adultery. How did I know? because the Elders of our church brought it to the entire congregation. Two Elders from the church got wind and approached the adulteress woman, she refused to repent and stop her affair. She was "banned" from our church, and what parent would want their children taught by such a person who is suppose to lead by example? Tough love, but nonetheless I have witnessed this very Scripture in action.

If people aren't interested in reconcilliation, in hearing the truth about themselves, or bringing their tension up with you, then I think at least in our own minds, we need to recongnize that love is not very high on their priorities.

As stated earlier in presenting this true story, I couldn't agree more.

Thanks Teehee, for your compliment and for sharing your experience of the grievance system in action.

Just a few more thoughts on my side.

I know I find it hard sometimes to approach someone whom I have tension with, because I do worry about looking mean, or I worry that they will be bitter with me for correcting them, or challenging them over something they have done wrong. But the amazing thing I have generally found, is that the more forsake our relationships, the better our relationships actually become.

If we can't let go of a relationship, then we will never truely be able to love them.