carrying papers around

[FallingLeaves]

so i've had a number of very ordinary dreams, where I'll be walking around in the dream with my arms stretched out in front of me and a pile of papers was stacked on top of them. last night's also had a laptop stuck in with all the papers... other than carrying the papers around and noone seems to notice the dream proceeds like any normal dream... the walking around is done in the normal process of the dream just with the papers...

Hi FallingLeaves,

did you have any feelings while walking around with the pile of papers on your stretched arms? Was it heavy?

Maybe a little weird, but while i wrote my above question i got the feeling you know you take on the work of others but you don´t care. Sort of feeling of indifference...but of course...this is only wat comes to my mind and might have nothing to do with you...

Or from the words that noone seems to notice: it feels like you do more then what is asked from you, but noone notices it, so why are you doing it?

[FallingLeaves]

hi irisa!

no i hardly noticed the papers during the dream, it is just I woke up one morning and thought that is weird the way I'm carrying papers in so many dreams!

i guess my tendency is to do more than i need to, but honestly, at my job it is feast or famine lol. Sometimes lots to do and other times I'm just tapping my fingers waiting out the day so to speak... I feel like in my job we each pull our own weight, I'm not doing other peoples jobs for them while they goof off...

in life though i guess maybe i sometimes take the blame for things i didn't do... i don't know any other way to keeping the peace but you are right noone seems to care but i hurt... I got into that situation by feeling like if I didn't take that hurt I was just going to be heaped with a ton more horrible stuff...

on here i say a lot of stuff that has meaning to me but I mostly go ignored. I've been using that as an excuse to dial things back, kinda like what you said what is the point of putting yourself out there if noone even cares? but it is slow going given how gung-ho i am lol... still there is a lot of stuff that crosses my mind that I no longer say so I'm getting better.

Thank you! (smile)

Hi,

on here i say a lot of stuff that has meaning to me but I mostly go ignored....

.... still there is a lot of stuff that crosses my mind that I no longer say so I'm getting better.

Are you really getting better from doing so? Does it really make you feel better? Or are your trying to make peace with the feeling that it gives you when you don´t speak your mind?

I read your dream again and ´saw´ the walking with the arms stretched out...made me think of sleepwalking, though you possibly had your arms turned up side down? But think about the posture...sleepwalking...

Use the people not reacting to what you have to say as a mirror...are you giving yourself enough attention? Do they really ignore you or could it be they don´t understand you? By no longer saying the things that cross your mind...you are ignoring your self as well...

In one of your last dreams there was a laptop stuck between the papers as well...somehow the laptop feels like something positive. Lap...top...Not thinking with the head, but the gut...

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by irisa

Or are your trying to make peace with the feeling that it gives you when you don´t speak your mind?

Do they really ignore you or could it be they don´t understand you? By no longer saying the things that cross your mind...you are ignoring your self as well...

thank you irisa.

you bring up some good points... well tbh i've always thought with what I'm studying there was a chance I could attract too much attention and if i did the way people would go about it would hurt a lot more than what I've got with being ignored... but of course I can't really say that that would happen. It crosses my mind that maybe it wouldn't... but given my past-life misadventures I'm not very trusting at this point so i dunno how far i could take that thought... it has always seemed wiser to be ignored as opposed to taken seriously... and now i kinda like not being taken seriously as well

Mostly I'm just lonely... but im not convinced that the way im attempting to make up for that is something I actually wanna be doing...

but all that said I can't make people want me I've found... I could write eloquent essays and still it might not make a difference...

maybe i'm making too much of getting ignored though. Or maybe I just need to learn new ways to relate?

Sometimes I feel like I'm acting like a know-it-all but it is hard to get away from that while still saying stuff sigh. (the actual truth is I'm not but I've come to expect that people will make certain expectations about me without having a clue what they are saying to themselves)

And certainly I don't like this tendency I have to talk about what life 'is' or what to 'do with it'. I'm not sure continuing in that vein is going to help anything just to try not to get ignored, since I basically don't like doing it anyway...

as far as being misunderstood... probably... words are only as good as the shared experience they denote... unfortunately there have been experiences everyone else has had that I haven't been allowed, just as there are experiences I have taken on, that noone else wanted. So no matter what I might say there will always be a gap...

i guess you brought up a good point about ignoring myself... i think i am but not in the way you mean. The kinds of stuff I say, that is kinda what I am used to doing in 'trade'... but I don't really think it is 'me'. It is just something I've learned to value over many many lifetimes and so I offer it up times like these when I'm totally bereft... but again I've been burned *a lot* and can't conceive that I could actually get anything I would value in return (and what I've usually gotten sucks) so again there is motivation to want to just quit giving out things of value... maybe that is a bad idea though?

I sorta see the 'real' me as if through a heavy fog but I won't go there for various reasons... mostly I had enough of attracting negativity from others and don't feel like trying really really hard to be going somewhere that will just attract me more of that even if it is otherwise a nice place to go... I mean I get what is up with all the negativity but I kinda need a break lol...

as far as sleepwalking well we all kinda do that IMO... I feel like I don't as much any more, but who knows? wrists/palms were up though so it wasn't the frankenstein walk

well thank you for talking to me. Maybe I shouldn't try so hard to be silent, maybe if I give up the reigns a little... I could still edit out stuff I just don't wanna say for whatever reason but I could still have something to talk about sometimes? I don't really get any control over the reactions of others though but maybe I could quit thinking about it in terms of getting ignored?

[Lynn]

Hello

What is there that you are not dealing with? This does not have to mean something that is written on paper as that could just be how the image shows in the dream so that you take note of it. Recall it.

Papers in a dream usually mean that there are issues that need your attention in your life path. That you have something to work on completing or clearing from your space. Or there could be something you want to start to work on but life is getting in the way of you getting to this project.

I would do a check list of what is on your plate to do and what there is out there you want to do and see what might line up.

Lynn

[FallingLeaves]

hi lynn,

i thought about this, and the main thing right now seems to be I feel like i'm doing too much. Maybe not dealing with my thoughts that I should tone it back. I know that sounds weird but it is just what is on my mind today...

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

hi lynn,

i thought about this, and the main thing right now seems to be I feel like i'm doing too much. Maybe not dealing with my thoughts that I should tone it back. I know that sounds weird but it is just what is on my mind today...

Hello

That would make sense as I just had the flash of an "in box" and an "out box" on a desk before I read this reply here. This is where one sorts out what needs to be done and what is done. At times the in box is way too full and you wonder if it will ever make the out box.

I always had a third box on my desk, that was for things that had a higher priority than just being in the pile. I called it the "next in line" box.

Lynn

[FallingLeaves]

yeah that makes sense. I kinda feel like I'm up to my cheeks in paper! I just wanna do something else!

[JustBe]

Sounds to me like it symbolises the pages of your life/you book. The burdens/potentials you carry day to day. Paper is light but if you keep adding to it it gets quite heavy doesn’t it? Paper is also potential to create differently, especially if it’s a blank canvas.

The adding in of the lap top seems to symbolise ‘another weight’ to carry or is it potential to create differently? It’s all in your hands isn’t it?

If you correlate this to outward expression/arms out reaching, it seems to symbolise your reaching out with all of this as I’ve described, but how you react it and carry it/express it, might just be the opportunity this dream is revealing in all ways of you.

If it’s a regular occurrence, maybe it’s time to rewrite a new story?

Sometimes when we carry the old and new as one in this way, the new is waiting for the ‘one’ who Carrie’s it all to let it all be recreated in a new way, rather than extending it outwardly and no one noticing.. ��