I realize now he is my Twin Soul

[Green.Heals]

As the title states, & I have not been able to let go. I am still dealing with so much pain.

& also, I have been told repeatedly that it is a "divine union" so whether that holds any change on an outcome.

& I know that is my codependecy that I must heal, abandonment issue's as a child, & growth of self love that will enable me to not allow other people's energies to affect my own. To have that self empowerment within, & not have to seek it outside of myself.

I had someone cut toxic cords only as they'd stated, but with going within, I do not see them as being toxic, because I felt his sadness, and because we are all human, we can have thoughts & not act on them.

I have the odd feeling of him, & that in of itself I must try to detach from the idea that whether or not I can feel him, that it should not sway my ability that I have on myself.

He chose another, and it was painful & harsh in how it was done, but I know that was his defenses, and protecting his own hurt.

& the connection, the telepathy that was coming in, I know now that I was to learn better from it, & how to work it. A huge part of me feels that he will not come back to me because I had the connection cut, & it is no longer strong as it was when it came out of the blue. Though, it brought me to my knee's. Lately ever since ending the energy healing I was receiving I feel better to life again. This healer did however tell me that she did NOT cut all cords, & there are still attachments, but that he no longer seeks me, but I seek him. & as a reminder to be careful with energy, as it travels.

So this is more a journal entry than anything, but I do not feel the need to open a journal space as I'd done before. I'm just sharing my trials.

I still feel so heartbroken, but I just need to let the flow of the Universe take care of me, and guide me. I know my guides, & angels are with me, & continuously here to help me. I'll continue to grow my insight from within the best I can. & know that his & my higher self will always be in unity, teaching one another on our separate paths.

I was told that when we come together we will have powerful growth, but I still do not know if that will ever come to pass, & that likely it may never come to pass in this life time. I can't help to say, right now I want him still so much. I do hope our paths cross again. I am in love with him, and we never dated, & were never physical. It is just one more entity in my team to teach, and grow from in this journey.

I also realized that where I am, & where he is, is not a place of unity with one another at this time, as I really want to be in a better place, & actually I told him that before we ever met..

I know the work I need to do within, and I also know where I want to take myself in this life, to continue working towards my passions, & the things that make my heart sing.

& also in a way this is kind of exciting ,that I can continue to trust more so in myself, & in the faith that I have, that I am being divinely loved, & guided, because sometimes I have been accustomed to needing to rehear everything all the time so that I can feel the emotion connected. It's always here, & although I've known it a bit, I wavered from it because I wasn't able to fully be myself. This project I have been working on, I need to be my most authentic raw self, I believe to have the experiences I am in need of to understand myself better.

I feel like, even on days that there are pain between us, that I know in some form we are experiencing life the exact same way. & to not judge it, & to know where it is coming from. & that it's okay.