Is it a rule ?

#1 09-08-2012, 04:06 PM

In a TF connection, is one person supposed to be the runner and other the stayer ?? Is this a rule or just a pattern that ppl notice .. After almost a year I saw her a couple of days ago. We just gave each other a cold stare and walked away. Neither of us were willing to talk. Does this mean both of us are runners now ?? Being the enlightened one I always thought I was the stayer .. But that day, I honestly was in no mood to talk to her. Her behavior was cold but that was no suprise to me. What amazed me was that I was equally cold and, for once, not perturbed by her behavior .. I know union won't occur unless both of us become stayers .. But mine seems to be moving in the opposite direction.. Have any of guys experienced anything like this before ??

#2 09-08-2012, 04:17 PM

You may review the section called "the runner's and the stayer's cold stares" in the TF Bible.

But seriously, why do you feel that you or her (or anybody) would always want to talk to the other.
Maybe you two were have an emotional day for different reasons.

Why not just call her to make an arrangement for a time when you two can both ready to talk to each other?

gypsymystique · #3 09-08-2012, 04:19 PM

I don't know that there is really any kind of "supposed to be" regarding this. It does often seem that there seems to be this runner/stayer theme. I have heard of people who have worked out their individual issues prior to meeting and getting together, and this runner/stayer phenomenon did not occur.

#4 09-08-2012, 04:27 PM

There exist no rules

I have met many runners in my lifetime and thought I love them with all of my heart I have had to realize either we were not ready to be together or just not meant to be together. Other times with others I have been the runner because I was not ready. But chasing the runner IMO will never do any good. Maybe you should shift your focus, I have found that anyone is a possible soul mate. If you do not have a soul connection yet does not mean you cannot create one. I have people in this lifetime I have met for the very first time and we have created connections that will last a very long time (I say because I will not use the word forever).

Sarian · #5 09-08-2012, 04:28 PM

"you may review the section called "the runner's and the stayer's cold stares" in the TF Bible."

Nada...

Aside from the TF stuff, I have days where I do not want to talk to my guy...Yesterday he upset me big time, I lost it and I cried hard, I mean sobbing and choking because I was crying so hard and upset. I looked at the man and felt like I hated him and I wanted whatever it is that's going on to end... I don't feel like a runner. I wondered what I ever saw in him. I know we get afraid of situations at times. But I went home and I literally ran like I always do, I run from a lot of things, but I'm actually moving/running and it's good for me to do...but I thought about him and wanting to just be over the relationship. Know how to end it and leave it behind and him behind and forget it all. Move on...just as I have tried the almost 20 years I've known him. But when the dust settles, there he is in my heart and then this morning I am here and he comes in, grabs my hand, pulls me up and gives me the most passionate of kisses and holds me so close to him, I feel like my body is his and his mine. We look into each other's eyes and I can't even describe it. I don't know what it is. I wish I did. I don't. It's a roller coaster ride.