What do I do? :(

DaisySunshine · #1 13-08-2017, 07:57 PM

I got this message from my twin last night"

Hey, I've been feeling like i messed up too much with you. Idk if it's an anxiety thing or what. But I consistently mess things up between us and i hate that i do that. It's not like it's only happened a couple of times, it's like every time we talk, i messed something up. Idk what to do because i feel so awkward and i feel like im just gonna mess up again. Probably like i am now"

Things have been a bit tense lately between us, without going into detail. I responded that he isn't messing up, I'm a hormone infused pregnant woman right now which is probably why I've been a bit edgy and oversensitive lately, but I assured him we are fine and I understand his stress and anxiety lately and I'm here. That was yesterday evening, and he hasn't read my messages despite having been on Instagram. I also sent a cpuple texts to his phone last night/this morning.

I'm restraining from becoming a clingy stalker and calling him or sending him messages that could be interpreted as passive aggressive or manipulative. Based on the message, I'm scared he's done with me for good. I have a debilitating knot in my stomach and I'm worried it won't go away until I hear from him/settle things with him, but what if that never happens? Help? :(

FairyCrystal · #2 13-08-2017, 08:12 PM

Peculiar... I had a similar thing, didn't hear anything yesterday, while normally we have daily contact, no matter how brief. But yesterday nothing. Had me off-kilter. Then today still nothing. Tried to phone, busy. Tried again, got voicemail. He didn't phone back which he usually always does right away. Sent a text, nothing. Then I lost it. Panic, fear, doubt etc.
Later on when he saw the text, he phoned right away. All is well, not a problem. I am totaled though, emotions cost a lot of energy.

Try to not panic, I know, easier said than done... but remember Mercury is retrograde, which doesn't help communication. And maybe he just needs a bit of time in his mancave and will come around again.
Mine needed a bit time off from the world too. Maybe it's 'in the air'?
Take care of yourself and think of your baby! And remember, if he's your twin, he'll come back!
And if your smarter than me, try to steer clear from phoning and texting. If he doesn't reply when you do cos he's in his mancave, it'll only upset you more. Try to shift your focus, at least a bit, and wait, give it and him a bit of time.
Hang in there, girl!! And trust. Considering Mercury Retro, me having a similar thing happen -which is highly unusual, he always gets in touch each day, has done for over a year!!- it's bound to be some weird energies whizzing around, nothing more.

Hug

H:O:R:A:C:E · #3 13-08-2017, 08:19 PM

give yourself a break and just breathe.
someplace within you there's a spot that feels like "blessed assurance"...
find that inner assurance and make it a practice to visit there each day.
let the problems of life swirl around and come to rest where they will,
without letting it concern you. there are no worries that can touch your
place of peace. when you come to appreciate your peaceful center, you'll
probably wanna make that your foundation point for whatever you do...
reach out from that space and interact with the world from that sensibility.
that's my advice.

Clover · #4 13-08-2017, 08:30 PM

My personal advice? Drop all the male influences around you and focus and concentrate on your twins. Right now everything you induce including your stress levels is going to go directly influence your babies. The babies will feel everything, how about setting a peaceful environment for them in your home? Find a really quite space and put some beautiful classical or meditation music. Tons of them on youtube. You can find a lot of peace and clarity about your situation this way... You can connect with the world at large in this state

Oh yeah, and get some sleep! Did you know you wont be sleeping a wink the first 6 months? You will be up 24-7 ( and you will have 2!) sleep now while you can, once they are born your life will never be the same.

Best wishes, the love will always be there, so stop worrying

DaisySunshine · #5 13-08-2017, 08:37 PM

Thank you both.

That darn mercury retrograde. I've been dreading it. Had been practicing meditation, self love, etc etc. Trying to find peace in myself. Had been planning on being light during retrograde. Only be positive with him, extra patience, extra space, etc. But I didn't expect this outright from him. I don't even know what his intention was. He is prone to anxiety and depression and can be manipulative at times. We both can, sadly.

I'm fighting my urge to overreact. I want to call him, I know he won't pick up, and leave a voice mail assuring him, apologizing, etc. I also want to text his phone with something passive aggressive or manipulative like "Did I finally screw up enough and push you away for good?" Or "I'm sick over this, can we please talk? I'm begging."

I won't do those things though. I've done them before and regretted how I acted after. I've gone nuts before and he still came back. Still assured me he's never leaving and I need to be confident in us. I always ask "But how do I know you won't suddenly wake up not wanting to be friends with me anymore?" He simply says back "Um, twin flame?" I want that comfort right now.

I keep looking over the messages I sent him and feel they're reassuring and positive without being whiny, desperate, or negative. I gave him the positivity I know he needs and deep down I know he'll read them when he's ready. I just hope it's soon. Please baby, please.

DaisySunshine · #6 13-08-2017, 08:38 PM

Thank you Clover, that is a beautiful reminder!

FairyCrystal · #7 13-08-2017, 09:37 PM

Yeah, this retrograde seems especially harsh? I had a letter the other day from health insurance canceling my monthly payments cos I'd been late once. So now I'll have to cough up the whole lot when I need medical help, no monthly installments anymore this year.
Just now realized I was late with my Visa payment, so now totally upset, fearing repercussion from that. If I get a 'bad payer' registration, that'll stick with me for ten bleeping years!!! You can't even get a phone subscription when you have such a registration :o
Council is going to change the way you have to pay the rent, which may lead to me getting in trouble there too.
All that payment to-do cos my benefit gets paid 2 weeks later of late (!!!) then it used to. Gotta pay rent before the 1st, how can I when I don't get money until the 7th?

Almost midnight, I was already shattered from upheaval with my TF, was just getting over that, now this. I'm totally stressed out again.
I've had weird stuff happen during Mercury Retro, but nothing like this.

DaisySunshine · #8 13-08-2017, 09:44 PM

:( So sorry to hear yours has been so bad.

He's been "active now" on Facebook messenger for over an hour. Ugh. I will not call or text, will not call or text...

FairyCrystal · #9 13-08-2017, 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaisySunshine

:( So sorry to hear yours has been so bad.

He's been "active now" on Facebook messenger for over an hour. Ugh. I will not call or text, will not call or text...

Horrible or what? I did phone mine, and later on texted him cos he didn't answer his phone. I know myself and I cannot find peace of mind unless I just make an attempt to reach out.
But it does depend on your connection of course and what has gone down. I know mine loves me to bits, we are involved. Just that the timing of me getting triggered wasn't the handiest :/ Even though not being able to get a hold of him right away, I do know he won't leave me hanging. In spite of that, I still panicked and ended up pulling my hair out, lol.
Wouldn't you wish at times you'd joined a convent and had become a nun? LOL. Nothing to worry about, just praying all day long. Boring as heck, but no heartache either.

Anyhow, if you're pretty sure he'll leave you hanging, don't phone or text. It'll only upset you more if he doesn't respond. That's how it works for me anyways.. I rather wait in hope that he may get in touch, then trying to get in touch and him not answering. That's far more confronting...
Oh and stop checking the FB messenger! Also too confronting and upsetting. Watch a movie or something. Something that sux you right in so you get distracted at least for a bit.

DaisySunshine · #10 13-08-2017, 10:52 PM

He isn't one that responds immediately; moreso one that comes around when he's ready. I'm contemplating calling now. Not leaving a message, just calling. Bad idea, right? I just wonder his intention. If it was a "I feel like I'm messing up and am done" or "I feel like I am messing up and want your assurance and support." If latter, I feel he would have responded by now.