Letting go..

Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness

This was my experience of spiritual awakening. everything is vibrant, I felt more chill, I could see the illusion.

... FABULOUS.... LOVE THIS ...

Originally Posted by linen53

I was attractive when I was young and as I aged and gained weight it was a crushing blow to the me I had learned to depend on to survive in the world. But from that person emerged another that was meant to be born. The real me (I hate the word ego).

Just this morning I received a letter I sent to myself from last June 14. I do this every 3 months. In it I wrote to myself:

Wow, it's June 14th today. I can't imagine Sept 14. We are just starting our hot summer. You should be about done with summer and looking forward to cooler weather.

Rosie has 4 little one. I'm concerned. They won't get out of the water when it is flowing so mom can teach them land foraging. I bet they are all 4 drakes. :o/

Raspberries and blackberries are growing. Blackberries have blossoms again. I am back out watering this year. It feels good! I didn't think I would ever miss watering in the hot weather. Amazing when you lose that choice to move around and you get it back, how much you appreciate small things like watering.

I am in a good place right now. I just started taking collagen a few weeks ago and I am already starting to feel better. Joints aren't hurting as much. ***** just started on it yesterday. Fingers crossed it works for him as well.

As far as back pain, it's still there. The nerve pain from moving. So I'm still on my oxy cocktail at 3 pm. I've just about made it to my 1 year anniversary (back surgery). I have my next appointment with Dr Salak on my birthday! Then we can get started on the spine stimulator.

Gawd, if I can eliminate the back nerve pain I can almost be a normal person again with my joints working better.

Still need the knee surgery. Can't do anything about that. Later this summer, I hope.

Covid is still a big thing. It's now at the discretion of the business whether you can go in to the business without a mask.
Really? It's getting crazy.

Businesses can only open if they follow a list of rules. They comply because otherwise they can't open.

George Floyd killing. Demonstrations and riots finally calmed down until another black man was shot and killed last Friday. Riots in Atlanta where it happened. They burned down the business where it happened. I hope it doesn't start up again. People are at the boiling point.

Speaking of that the Police Blotter in the ***** newspaper was full of arrests from the past 2 weeks. Normally there are 2 - 5 listed. Yesterday's paper had 50. I think this is about to explode. I will keep my eye on the Blotter from now on.

Well Rachael is about ready to hatch out and Lilly is sitting on (her own) fertile eggs. I about did a jig I was so happy for her.

I am soooo hoping you are in a good place when you receive it. Maybe you have just had knee surgery. You may not be feeling all that great but you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Hopefully.

Here's a hug and a kiss for you.

The initial shock that I sent myself a(nother) letter, as I click on it, I feel trepidation. I love getting these letters once I start reading; as I read, I see my love for myself. It's good to look back and see where you were back then compared to where you are right now.

Beautiful personal memoir Deb.. lovely to share that moment of reflection with you....

Originally Posted by Starman

We look with our eyes but we see with our awareness. There are times when we could be looking directly at something and not see it because of a lack of awareness. Awareness is light; grow our own awareness and we will be able to shine light on what we may need to let go of. Awareness will help us in this world and beyond this world.

When we are sleeping we see our dreams in our awareness, it is the same during our waking hours, but the true awakening is one that takes place in our awareness regardless whether we are dreaming or not. Awareness is literally divine light. Light that allows us to see. When we grow our inner light we grow our awareness.

I have shared on this forum many times how I lost my eyesight during the Vietnam War and was totally blind for about 5-years. I went through more than a dozen surgeries to regain my eyesight, but when I was blind, because of a heightened awareness, I saw things when I was blind with no eyesight that I failed to see when I had 20/20 vision in both eyes.

Hi Starman.... I did not know that you lost your sight. ( Not seeking sympathy, I know, but must have been terrible at the time )... You see "eyes" and "sight" to me , and I expect to most people are so very important. In normal life I could not live without my books, from being a toddler, as my books were my safe haven, my escape , as it were, and I have always had a fear of losing all of that.... But with your experience, and as it would appear, almost as though it was "meant" to happen in order for you to experience everything you describe, which is quite a remarkable story. When my eyes opened properly , I was filled with such love for everyone and everything... It was instant . I had to deal with numerous people on a daily basis, some of whom I wasn't keen on. But suddenly, I was "seeing" them... Not looking at them, actually seeing right into them. And actually listening to them properly... And smiling at them. And realising how wrong we are to judge others simply because we have different personalities. But it wasn't just people, or animals, it was everything.... The sky and clouds became even more of a wonderment... I couldn't stop looking at it.. the trees , the grass, the fields, even on a cloudy day, the beauty of everything I saw wanted to make me cry. It was like being transported back to the days of innocent childhood, and the lovely pictures from my story books were real after all...!!... Sorry.. got lost again in my ramblings...

[Starman]

Originally Posted by Elfin

Hi Starman.... I did not know that you lost your sight. ( Not seeking sympathy, I know, but must have been terrible at the time )... You see "eyes" and "sight" to me , and I expect to most people are so very important. In normal life I could not live without my books, from being a toddler, as my books were my safe haven, my escape , as it were, and I have always had a fear of losing all of that.... But with your experience, and as it would appear, almost as though it was "meant" to happen in order for you to experience everything you describe, which is quite a remarkable story. When my eyes opened properly , I was filled with such love for everyone and everything... It was instant . I had to deal with numerous people on a daily basis, some of whom I wasn't keen on. But suddenly, I was "seeing" them... Not looking at them, actually seeing right into them. And actually listening to them properly... And smiling at them. And realising how wrong we are to judge others simply because we have different personalities. But it wasn't just people, or animals, it was everything.... The sky and clouds became even more of a wonderment... I couldn't stop looking at it.. the trees , the grass, the fields, even on a cloudy day, the beauty of everything I saw wanted to make me cry. It was like being transported back to the days of innocent childhood, and the lovely pictures from my story books were real after all...!!... Sorry.. got lost again in my ramblings...

You are not rambling; that was a very beautiful description which you shared. A great epiphany. When I lost my eyesight initially it was a major freak out; it was like very dark light blocking shades had been pulled down over both of my eyes. I had 360-degree retina detachments, cataract, and very high glaucoma pressure in both eyes simultaneously. I was a U.S. Army combat medic in Vietnam back in 1967 and a bomb blast went off.

Back then they did not have the ophthalmology treatments which they have today, and that was the only reason why I stayed blind for about 5-years. As the technology progressed hopes of me regaining my eyesight increased. But while losing my eyesight was a freak out, when I got my eyesight back that required and adjustment as well.

I adjusted to my blindness, and in retrospect I do believe that it was meant to happen as part of my deeper growth and development. I started college when I was blind. An organization called “Recording for the Blind” put my text books on audio tape and gave me a tape player free of charge, and I had to learn memory techniques. I was also allowed to borrow lots of taped books from that organization, novels, spiritual books on tape, etc. This was before the invention of computers, the internet, etc.

I learned a great deal when I was blind; and then my visual acuity went from hand movements at two feet, to 20/600, 20/400, etc., and today with either contact lens or glasses I have 20/30 in both eyes. My optic nerve was in decent shape so my eyesight returned after more than a dozen eye surgeries. It was quite a journey that left and indelible imprint on me. Over time I got used to being blind, and as I said, I had to adjust once again to having eyesight. No I am not looking for sympathy.

Although today I do have a lot of hardware in my eyes. A silicone band around the white ball of my eyes that holds the retina in place, it is called a sclarel buckle. I also have glaucoma implants, little sacks that take the fluid off my eyes and drains it into my mouth via my sinuses. Glaucoma pressure is caused by increased fluid in the eye. I have had laser treatments, freeze techniques done on my eyes, and major surgeries. I see it, no pun intended, as all a part of me growing up.

When I was in the hospital after surgery, there was a guy in a bed next to mine who had also lost his eyesight. We talked and he told me he was a Christian, but he was very angry at God, and sometimes would lash out cursing because he had lost his eyesight. I was sent home and periodically a visiting nurse would come to see me, and I learned that guy who was next to me in the hospital had committed suicide. We both had a 50/50 chance of regaining our eyesight. I was allowed to continue and realize that outcome.

So here I have rambled with exceedingly long windedness…….

[Heightend-Awareness]

Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness

This was my experience of spiritual awakening. everything is vibrant, I felt more chill, I could see the illusion.

One of the biggest things most people forget to do during their spiritual awakening is forgiveness. As my process began, I had the compelling feeling of needing to let go of all my baggage. Be it the ones that were buried deep inside and the ones that were on the surface. All those That have wronged me I forgave, to realise that they were a part of my life that needed to be in order for me to be who, what and where I am today. Once this was done my heart and mind were cleansed so to speak. A beautiful moment in my life besides witnessing my two boys being born. Forgiveness. Take away all that karmic baggage and dump it on the side of the road. It served its purpose, no need to hoard that junk. It is weighing you down.

Originally Posted by Starman

You are not rambling; that was a very beautiful description which you shared. A great epiphany. When I lost my eyesight initially it was a major freak out; it was like very dark light blocking shades had been pulled down over both of my eyes. I had 360-degree retina detachments, cataract, and very high glaucoma pressure in both eyes simultaneously. I was a U.S. Army combat medic in Vietnam back in 1967 and a bomb blast went off.

Back then they did not have the ophthalmology treatments which they have today, and that was the only reason why I stayed blind for about 5-years. As the technology progressed hopes of me regaining my eyesight increased. But while losing my eyesight was a freak out, when I got my eyesight back that required and adjustment as well.

I adjusted to my blindness, and in retrospect I do believe that it was meant to happen as part of my deeper growth and development. I started college when I was blind. An organization called “Recording for the Blind” put my text books on audio tape and gave me a tape player free of charge, and I had to learn memory techniques. I was also allowed to borrow lots of taped books from that organization, novels, spiritual books on tape, etc. This was before the invention of computers, the internet, etc.

I learned a great deal when I was blind; and then my visual acuity went from hand movements at two feet, to 20/600, 20/400, etc., and today with either contact lens or glasses I have 20/30 in both eyes. My optic nerve was in decent shape so my eyesight returned after more than a dozen eye surgeries. It was quite a journey that left and indelible imprint on me. Over time I got used to being blind, and as I said, I had to adjust once again to having eyesight. No I am not looking for sympathy.

Although today I do have a lot of hardware in my eyes. A silicone band around the white ball of my eyes that holds the retina in place, it is called a sclarel buckle. I also have glaucoma implants, little sacks that take the fluid off my eyes and drains it into my mouth via my sinuses. Glaucoma pressure is caused by increased fluid in the eye. I have had laser treatments, freeze techniques done on my eyes, and major surgeries. I see it, no pun intended, as all a part of me growing up.

When I was in the hospital after surgery, there was a guy in a bed next to mine who had also lost his eyesight. We talked and he told me he was a Christian, but he was very angry at God, and sometimes would lash out cursing because he had lost his eyesight. I was sent home and periodically a visiting nurse would come to see me, and I learned that guy who was next to me in the hospital had committed suicide. We both had a 50/50 chance of regaining our eyesight. I was allowed to continue and realize that outcome.

So here I have rambled with exceedingly long windedness…….

...I LOVE YOUR LONG WINDEDNESS .... LONG MAY YOU WIND ..... But seriously, that's an incredible story of everything you went through with your eyes. And makes me somewhat squeamish, as I'm a coward if I even ever had to have eyedrops put it, knocking the offending hand /dropper away, until one of the drops accidently hit the target. So I have to applaud everything you went through. The windows of the soul ...

Originally Posted by Heightend-Awareness

One of the biggest things most people forget to do during their spiritual awakening is forgiveness. As my process began, I had the compelling feeling of needing to let go of all my baggage. Be it the ones that were buried deep inside and the ones that were on the surface. All those That have wronged me I forgave, to realise that they were a part of my life that needed to be in order for me to be who, what and where I am today. Once this was done my heart and mind were cleansed so to speak. A beautiful moment in my life besides witnessing my two boys being born. Forgiveness. Take away all that karmic baggage and dump it on the side of the road. It served its purpose, no need to hoard that junk. It is weighing you down.

Yes, and again, cannot disagree with a single word.... Unforgiveness/ fear... Do nothing but hold us back. ( And, yes, the miracle of birth..... )

[Native spirit]

I Can not begin to understand what you went through Loosing your sight.
it was bad enough before i had my first cataract done. i was looking through a fog. so i can sympathise with you.



Namaste

[Starman]

Originally Posted by Elfin

...I LOVE YOUR LONG WINDEDNESS .... LONG MAY YOU WIND ..... But seriously, that's an incredible story of everything you went through with your eyes. And makes me somewhat squeamish, as I'm a coward if I even ever had to have eyedrops put it, knocking the offending hand /dropper away, until one of the drops accidently hit the target. So I have to applaud everything you went through. The windows of the soul ...

Thank you for giving me a good laugh. Having gone through eye problems, once I got my sight back, I worked with people who had physical disabilities, and it amazed me the resilience most of them had. I felt comfortable around them and they inspired me.

Once I was teaching a college class where I told students they had to get up in front of the class and give a presentation. One of my students who was blind told me he was scared to get up in front of people and talk. I told him “you’re blind and you won’t be able to see them.” He told me he was still scared, so I told him to go home and stand in front of a mirror and practice. We both laughed about it, which relived his tension. This is the kind of comfort I feel around people with physical disabilities.

I read somewhere here on this forum that you said you are an “old woman.” I think I am older than you but I don’t consider myself to be old.

Nonetheless, now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
5. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
6. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
7. It’s not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
8. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
9. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
10. I know I am getting older because when I walk my arms move faster than my legs.

THE SENILITY PRAYER
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Old people’s jokes

[Starman]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

I Can not begin to understand what you went through Loosing your sight.
it was bad enough before i had my first cataract done. i was looking through a fog. so i can sympathise with you.

Namaste

Losing my eyesight and going blind, for me, was like a preparation for death. My body had failed and there was nothing I could do but surrender. Yes, I could have taken my own life, but letting go was much easier, and gave me less anxiety.

I think that there are numerous experiences that people have in their lifetime that are as preparations for the death of their own physical body. We are often confronted with our own mortality, and it is just a matter of being aware of it.

Namaste