So honestly, I don't know where I thought I was going with this. It was just based mostly on feeling. A
rush if you will. A feeling of a whirlwind around me. I know that ballet dancers do describe the dancing as a rush of adrenaline and then it's finished all of a sudden even though it could be for an hour or two, or even four.
I resonate
deeply with Vaslav Nijinsky, however I don't think I knew him. A friend of mine who is a medium and past-life reader told me that maybe the reason I so deeply resonate with Nijinsky is because he achieved the excellence I had so longed to achieve but wasn't able to. In my past-lives there's a pattern which I've noticed where I never am able to achieve the goal I seek or have been given to work toward. Be it a premier danseur, or the throne of a kingdom/empire - I never got to the goal. It's funny how things come in a round-about way like that.
That makes sense to me. Very much so.
So, earlier this afternoon I tried to watch a regression video (for past-life healing) and I fell asleep before I even went into the depth of it. Just before I did though, I had a sudden and brief flash. It confused me because I could see a boy's or a man's hands around a woman's waist. She was corseted, the fabric was stiff to the touch. There was a great amount of gauzy fabric - a tutu perhaps. I could
feel the
rush of adrenaline in this brief flash. But it confused me because I couldn't tell if I was the woman or I was the man. It wasn't much to go on and it just confused me.
So I decided to see if places would trigger me. I looked up the old location of the Imperial Ballet School in Saint Petersburg, which is where many of the great ballet dancers studied. It's still opened, only it's now called the Vaganova Ballet Academy. We called it the "Académie." The photographs I saw of the exterior of the building threw me into an emotional high. It's hard to express in words what validation I felt. I
knew that street. Rossi Street. The Alexandrinsky Theatre stood at the far end. I
guessed (honestly because I just had a feeling) which side the Imperial Ballet was located in. I pointed to the right-hand side of the two buildings. Imagine my dumbfounded surprise when I found out I was right. That was a huge validation for me. I recognised the interior staircases, some of the rooms. One dance studio, with a tiered balcony made me so emotional that I began to cry and was laughing, my heart was beating - I was sweating. I'd not had this kind of past-life validation in a while. It's really hard to explain. It's mind-blowing honestly.
After this, I looked up ballet dancers from that time period - before the 20th century. I found a photograph of a group of young ballet dancers in Marius Petipa's "Paquita" with different years - but I think it's 1892-1893. In the photographs are one boy, who would later become one of the great choreographers of the Ballets Russes - Michel Fokine. I remembered that we (this group of children and I) called him affectionately "Misha." - His name was Mikhail. The girl standing right next to at the far right hand side I recognised immediately. She stood out so much. It's ridiculous actually. And another boy, who has a scowl on his face, standing in profile to the photographer.
Seeing the young girl, next to "Misha" connected to the flash. It was her waist I was twirling. I listened to Minkus's score of Paquita and the Mazurka was
ridiculous familiar. It made my heart light and I felt a swelling in myself. To dance. To get ready. To perform. I had a flash suddenly of dancing with her. Twirling around. I think I fancied her.
Another photograph (this time of Nijinsky) in 1907 when he graduated from the Imperial Ballet School, his uniform is familiar to me - especially the collar with its decorative ornamentation. It makes me think I was definitely a young man then. And then the other thing that clicked was a possible injury during that life-time that carried over.
My other past-life, where I suffered from a blood disorder caused some near-fatal episodes which nearly killed me. In one episode (in 1912) my leg was bent for a long while after - my left leg. In this life, I walk with my right foot angled out and it's always been noticed by everyone. I'm very self-conscious of it. I have a feeling (it's very strong) that the injury carried over, and in that life-time I fell or broke my ankle. That makes a lot of sense to me honestly.
Recognising so many faces, the photograph of the children dancing - Carlotta Brianza, a ballerina in 1890 dancing in The Sleeping Beauty as Princess Aurora, another photograph showing children posed - 1890/1891 - Anna Pavlova (ten years old) is in the photograph.
I feel that I lived maybe into my late teens, or at the least my early 20's. I feel illness was the reason for my death. I've considered trying to find records of students from that time period but that's like searching for a needle in a haystack.
But anyways. It feels good to have such validation all at once. Truly.
Photographs:
Here is a photograph of the main entrance to the Vaganova Ballet Academy. This is where the Imperial Ballet School was located prior to Soviet times.
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Here is Rossi Street. At the far end is the Alexandrinsky Theatre, on the right is the Vaganova Ballet Academy. When I saw this photograph, I intuitively knew it was the location of the "Académie."
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I was curious as to how the interior looked, and came across dance studio photographs. This one is called the Marius Petipa Dance Studio. It's the most famous one. This is what gave me the strongest, visceral and emotional reaction. That tiered balcony is incredibly familiar.
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One of the many staircases in the Vaganova Ballet Academy. These flights of steps, the wrought-iron. Nothing has changed since I was there.
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Carlotta Brianza, an Italian prima ballerina who performed with the Mariinsky Theatre in Saint Petersburg. She appears here as Princess Aurora in Petipa's "The Sleeping Beauty," Circa. 1890. Her face is very familiar to me.
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A posed portrait of child dancers in Petipa's "A Fairy Tale" - Anna Pavlova, one of the great Russian ballerinas (ten years old) is holding the bird cage, middle at left.
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Child dancers in Petipa's "Paquita" Circa. 1892/1893. "Misha" or Michel Fokine is standing at the far right, next to the girl who I danced with in that life-time. The boy in profile with his head turned, making a scowl is also familiar to me.
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The same group of dancers, in a different pose. I remember twirling around with the girl, holding Misha's hand (at far right, foreground).
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