Dealing with criticisms and negative opinions from family

[symmetricalsnowflake11]

Hi everyone

As the title says, I have a tough family. I had parents that were so focused on the negatives and would criticise and berate you constantly, instead of focusing on your strengths, being there for you, and encouraging you. I am now an adult and adult my siblings do the same thing sometimes. Not all the time, but it's clear I can see their underlying opinions about me are not positive at all. They are like this towards everyone and I don't even think they realise it, or where it stems from.

I feel like I am due to be a light worker because all of this negativity drives me in the opposite direction. I want to treat people how I would like to be treated.

I guess I would like some advice on how to not let their criticisms of my life affect me so much? I know I'm a good person and I have struggled with my mental health in the past (and currently but they don't know this). I feel like I am blamed and criticised for not having a stable life when I was young (20's), and their opinions have unfortunately stemmed into my now 30's.

I keep less contact and stay distant these days, and don't really talk about anything that personal with them because it leads to family-wide gossip about me, which is such a shame. My siblings have so much love for other people (such as their own kids) but sometimes I get treated and spoken to very differently.

Maybe I need to work on my self esteem. But that seems to be an ongoing life long thing with me.

Thanks for listening ya'll!

[Izz]

Detach from them once you recognize the pattern of subtle put downs, remind yourself in written or unwritten form (whichever works for you) of your strengths or the light side of life - even if it's small things like how fun you are in this occasion etc Ones that work for you

Potentially

1) Write down goals that have nothing to do with them

2) Write affirmation "I will trust more and not repeat their cycle"

3) Recall the good memories and support you have had in your life too and write some down if you wish

[astralsuzy]

Originally Posted by symmetricalsnowflake11

They are like this towards everyone and I don't even think they realise it, or where it stems from.

Have you talked to your parents about it. Perhaps they do not realise that it is affecting you and upsetting you. It would be hard not to let criticism affect you. I think it would be a constant struggle and it would get you down.

I do not think there is anything you can do except try and talk to your parents about it and say this needs to stop. If it fails then let your parents know that you will see them less often. Perhaps that might change them.

[Miss Hepburn]

I typed into google: Protection exercises from negativity
I was looking for a particular thing, but there was SO much available!
You can check it all out.

https://hive.com/blog/how-to-protect-your-energy-from-negativity/

Funny story, I walked into a Crystal and Rock Shop here in Colorado, USA...asked if they had kyanite;
I had heard it repels negativity...hahaha, the shop owner took out a smooth kyanite from her pocket...saying she always
keeps it on her.

One day I did NOT wear my simple quartz crystal necklace with my mom.
I thought I would jump out of the moving car! Talk about negativity.
I wore it the rest of my visit (!) and it ''strengthened my aura'', as they say.
(I used to be very skeptical of this sort of thing...but, try it and see for yourself.)

Or you could go to the lighter side and do what Stuart Smalley does everyday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8DVe5hNpBE

Thanx for the 2 links!!

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by symmetricalsnowflake11

...I had parents that were so focused on the negatives and would criticise and berate you constantly, instead of focusing on your strengths, being there for you, and encouraging you. I am now an adult and adult my siblings do the same thing sometimes. Not all the time, but it's clear I can see their underlying opinions about me are not positive at all.

If you consider yourself to be a light-worker then some suggestions.

Practise Ho'oponopono - plenty of information online. The basic principle is that we are entirely responsible for any stressful situations which arise in our lives. We create these situations and we resolve them through forgiveness.

As a wise man once said "Forgive them for they know not what they do". They do what they do because they do not know any better. And who knows what happened to them in their lives to make them behave like this.

Your parents and your siblings are what they are. Let go of all your ideas of how you think they should be. If you expect them to be anything other than they are then you will only suffer, because you are resisting reality. We may be responsible for all that arises in our lives, but you are not responsible for their behaviour, you are only responsible for how you respond to their behaviour.

Peace

[symmetricalsnowflake11]

Thank you for your response

[symmetricalsnowflake11]

Thank you for your reply, it is quite helpful

I've been looking online at crystals lately so i'll take this as a sign to buy some!

[saurab]

Originally Posted by symmetricalsnowflake11

Hi everyone

As the title says, I have a tough family. I had parents that were so focused on the negatives and would criticise and berate you constantly, instead of focusing on your strengths, being there for you, and encouraging you.

You will realize later that your parents and siblings are your best friends. They have taught you to look inside yourself for inner strength amidst the outer negativity.

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by saurab

You will realize later that your parents and siblings are your best friends. They have taught you to look inside yourself for inner strength amidst the outer negativity.

Indeed. Maybe you chose them for your family precisely because of all the lessons they would teach you.

And perhaps one day you will feel grateful to them for this - the most difficult people can be our best teachers.

And you might also feel compassion for them in their ignorance. They seem to lack joy and acceptance, which is not a recipe for a happy life.

Peace