How would you feel?

[Redchic12]

Oh yes I’ve just thought on; it makes me think of what the Buddha said about most of our suffering comes from people wanting us to be what THEY think we should be.

[astralsuzy]

Originally Posted by Redchic12

I made a decision a few years ago and told the whole family “I am not doing Xmas anymore”..

You were brave to do that. I find it difficult to do that with brother and sister in law but now I do not care any more. My husband and son do not want to see them so it easier now to break away from them. It has taken a long time to finally get like you. They are not nice people and they have said nasty things to me. I am better off without them. I am getting used to the idea of not having much to do with them anymore. I am not thinking about it now as I do not want to let it drag me down. I am getting on with my life. As you said, there will be no traffic on Christmas, no presents and no hassles or arguments. I will have a good time.

[astralsuzy]

I just want to add that buying Christmas presents for my brother, sister and their family was ridiculous. I let them know not to buy us presents. They ignored it and bought us chocolates and that made me feel bad as I did not have anything for them. The following Christmas they gave us chocolates and I gave them chocolates. My husband did not want his chocolates so I gave them away.

[Redchic12]

Ah Astralsuzy so good to hear that you made that decision. Yes I guess it is hard for some people, but I just sat there one day and thought to myself, I’ve spent most of my life fitting in with other people and always trying to do the right thing and I guess that is what you call “honouring other people”. Then I decided, well I think it’s time that I decided to HONOUR MYSELF. I felt real good after ide made the decision.

Think once you get into this new tradition you will feel better and better and not care about before

[Redchic12]

Just to add, I personally see Xmas as a time that people spend money they haven’t got, buying things that others don’t really want and the only ones who really benefit are the retailers. Plus the only ones that seem to do most of the work and get most of the stress is women. Generally speaking)

My son and his wife and my sister haven’t spoke to me since (all over one day of the year hey, ya gotta laugh). But I don’t miss all the dramas and pressures so it’s all good for me.

I feel that we actually do all that work and put so much effort in is because we want our LITTLE kids to have a good time, but once they’ve gotten older it’s a different story IMO

That's terrible, Redchich12. I agree that Xmas has lost its purpose when it all comes down to gifts and stress, the opposite of what it should be about.

[Redchic12]

Just thought on, the none speaking wasn’t just over one day it over a couple of other things leading up to Xmas that I stood my ground on as well.

Jeez it felt good tho ha ha

[astralsuzy]

You are amazing Redchic12. When I read what you wrote it made it easier for me to move on. Thank you for that. I do not feel any resentment. I just do not care any more. I feel I am the same as you. I have spent my life fitting around my brother and sister in law. I do what they want but they still criticize me in front of other people. No matter how hard I try it makes no difference. I am tired of it and I am glad to be moving on. I will always be polite and kind to them. As the saying goes, two wrongs do not make a right. I am very lucky as I have a good family. I realise it is not good to be with people that do not want you there. I am better off without them.

I agree about the Christmas presents. I only buy presents for my children. I do not want presents. My husband and I do not give each other presents because we do not want anything.

[Redchic12]

Soooo glad I had a small part in helping you. I guess this what the forum is all about; everyone trying to support everyone else. Love it.