Would this be a good or bad idea?

This is my second version because as usual I wrote way too much. There is someone I like to help become more soft in the body, is there a good way to go about this? I have tried dancing and other physical activities with that someone, but it don't help, this person can tell it is stiff and withdraw itself from the activity.

Now I am down to thinking perhaps meditation with stretching body movements but don't know if that is a good thing? If you hold a part of your body a particular way long enough should it then not be able to relax? But maybe I am thinking all wrong about this. I wonder if anyone have any ideas either on this or besides from this? This is a child we're talking about, growing, and I am fearful I would not want to introduce something that is not good for it's body?

I have noticed this wonderful individual is being misunderstood when it tries to give physical tenderness and I think it is because it is so stiff (like a stick) in the body so because of that it can even hurt even if no intention of doing that.

[Justin Passing]

I don't see how meditation and body stretching can hurt. As long as you don't overdue it they're pretty much good for everyone. Then again, so are dancing and other physical activities. Thing is, I'm assuming this is a "social" stiffness you're talking about. If this is a mechanical/physical stiffness you could be in doctor territory.

Social stiffness usually traces back to fear. Fear of something - ridicule, judgment, failure, rejection - something. And with fear, as you know, the only way out is through, even for a child. Fear is a paper tiger. Face it and it's gone. The "something" may remain though, and require emotional healing. That too you know how to do.

You're a really good person asearcher. All the things you do for others.

Many thanks, you're too kind. I will try to see if this will help. I do think you are right, this individual's usual mode is that part of it is always "on", that is what must be seen as normal to this individual, so if I can manage to help this person to feel more loosened up, relaxed it would be fabulous hi hi.

[Justin Passing]

Originally Posted by asearcher

this individual's usual mode is that part of it is always "on", that is what must be seen as normal to this individual

That sounds like me when I was in grade school. Tight, tense, on alert so to speak. I didn't feel safe in the world - especially at school - and was trying to hold my world together by force of will. Of course I was right - I wasn't safe - not really - which makes it hard to "fix" this kind of thing. What I needed was a better solution. After all, being ready doesn't make you safe - not really.

Honestly, it's taken me a lifetime to find a solution to that one, and I'm still working on it. Your own "solution" asearcher is better than mine - the way you allow yourself to feel safe in the world. But be aware you're trying to teach him/her how to feel safe, not making him/her safe. He/she needs the perception of safety not actual protection.

Thank you so kindly, oh I feel for you just as I do with this other precious one, and I get what you mean, I think, gonna try to work on it : )

[WildHairedWoman]

Originally Posted by asearcher

This is my second version because as usual I wrote way too much. There is someone I like to help become more soft in the body, is there a good way to go about this? I have tried dancing and other physical activities with that someone, but it don't help, this person can tell it is stiff and withdraw itself from the activity.

Hatha Yoga is excellent exercise, it is stretching all the muscles. When you are first learning you do what you can and move to the next pose, in 2 or 3 weeks you will notice you can do more than you thought you could. If you keep it up you will be relaxed and toned.

Thank you so much, looking forward to this :)

[Gem]

I'm guessing the person is of young teenage age and not a very active person. That's is a pretty wild guess which is probably wrong, but generally speaking, you'd need to know what sort things the person is interested in. If a person never showed interest in dancing or yoga or whatever it might be, there is a low probability of them suddenly loving it. Since I don't know the person, I can't suggest anything, but I think it's time to put on the listening ears and find out what sort of things the person is actually interested in and might like.

[Traveler]

It sounds like you want to teach the child to learn how to relax and release tension in their body. There are yoga poses that help with this but I think what might be more useful is a guided exercise where the child learns to let go and relax. For example; have the child sit up, grasp knees tightly and then slowly stretch arms and legs out and lean back until they're lying down. If they're young get them to imagine they're a flower opening up its petals to the sun. Look on youtube for yoga for kids, that might lead you to what you're looking for.

[Gem]

This is spiritual site and people will project their own preferences onto the child. I'd caution against that and suggest trying to find out what the child likes. Given the possibilities, It's probably not going to be yoga, meditation and/or guided relaxations. It might be, which is fine if it's coming from them, but it could might be cycling, climbing, skateboards, martial arts, table tennis, rowing or any number of other things - a combination of different things would be ideal.

Depends what the kid is into.