My anxiety triggered by my beliefs?

[lostsoul13]

So recently my anxiety has been triggered: large crowds in town, the hostel and how many people are there- thought people will know my schedule besides the fact I meet the same people often with grandkids etc…

But more so my paranoid beliefs that everyone is observing- to the point that people are hiding that they are observing- by being engrossed in life, spiritually switched off and by not talking about the fact they are going to die- I sense there is some brash conspiracy’s that they just say well that’s life!!!

But that motive concerns me…

I think because it rules my decisions.. treat my self - you only live once.. I’m bound by the fact one day I will die.. or at least my body will.

I’m also aware of the pain I would have to go through …

I’m not in anxiety of death just people and the fact they Arnt predictable like the self…

In which I described …

I accept people learn and act differently but ignorant of the fact pain is in all of our life’s but people tend to just get on I find I’m unable than time forces me to get to the next moments with the same thoughts or without.. passage of time happens wether I want it to or not time literally lives with us…