Is this really my path?

[Jakeninja1111]

Hi all,
I wanted to share my journey so far and hopefully get some guidance.
2 and half years ago i started a journey on mediumship or spiritual development. I have read a lot of spiritual books and been through a roller coaster of emotions. At the start i had a couple of sleep parallises experience until i learned how to protect myself. Altho i was told by a teacher that was spirit trying to come through to me but i was no ready. Im not 100% sure.
Anyway since then ive had little experiences where ive had some awsome vivid dreams, and feeling the bugs in the hair and face sensation daily, and seeing the numbers 117 and 111 and recently 112 multiple times a day.
I also feel that im so close and within reach of breaking through the vail to clear communication with spirit.
However i cant help but feel like there is a barrier blocking me which leads to my ego jumping in 2nd guessing me weather this is truly my path. I have a passion and know in my heart this is what i want to do it would be a dream come true but i just wish i could use these abilities now to help people with their greif and pain. Then i think if this is my true path then why wasnt i born with these abilities. So i currently feel "stuck" in the "where do i go from here" thinking.

So any help or insight into this would be super much appreciated!
Love to all!