Need some assistance on this

[Guff779]

My father has the mortgage paid off, house loan paid off. I give money for some bills, he has two major bank account savings, he gets benefits and additional income and I only need to give him $25 a week and he is covered and he tells me he is under stress and I got to give the house away. He says he is finished many many times. Seriously?

And he complains about other things.

Also he seems to moan everyday and he goes it is a **** car, I need to clean and yesterday he said to clean, I need new car. He says it is finished.

Yesterday he was complaining about the same thing.

Also I do not really wish to work at my job(where in fact I am earning money in another thing) and he says 'we are finished' and x, y, z

There is something else I can do and he says I do not go for benefits. Will this person ever listen and show some support. He says where get money from.

Also my sister has never given money for bills (apart from one), and I contribute money for bills all the time.

Does he even listen to me? Its not fair that he says this stuff.

And also when I said I'm going on holiday in few months, he goes who pays bills when I said that's already covered.

This is causing me some emotional stress and I'm not sure what to do. He is being negative at me.

[Rah nam]

It's all a matter of perspective.
Our son pays $200 per week, cooks, cleans around the house and the garden.
I moved out from home when I was 15 years old never moved back, only for short holidays.
Live is full of choices.

[Guff779]

I'm not bothered if I pay because I want to and I do all the chores.

The problem is I am not really looking to work and earning money via self employment and he keeps telling me when am I going to work. Then he tells me to apply for benefits.

He has money coming in and I give him money and the bills can be paid without him having to tap into his very significant savings.

And he doesn't listen, he just isn't willing to listen, he is being a bit over the top.

I'm have shown him I'm earning money and he is just being over-bearing with his opinions. Saying when am I going to work even when I'm earning money.

I could live at home, but no one deserves to be stressed out in the mind for no reason and feel like their in despair because they do not wish to listen and are being over-bearing.

I am earning money self employed and he tells me when am I physically going to work and apply for benefits when I am earning income and tells us we are all finished. Even if I do not earn money for 2 days and will next week he will just say the work thing.

[Unseeking Seeker]

Old age heightens financial & health related insecurities ... empathise & vitalise without reacting or agitating. Tranquil calm and joyousness is infectious! :)

Hi... I kind of don't think this really is to do with money from your father's perspective. I have a hunch that it is more to do with "lifestyle"..... Each generation is different to the last one...and sometimes, in my experience , parents , especially father's expect their children to follow the way I'm which they conducted themselves.. I can almost guarantee , that if your father was a multi millionaire , he would still be moaning at you to "get a proper job"... And be responsible like he was "at your age".... Sometimes parents find it hard to accept change.. which is inevitable in today's society...my children live a completely different lifestyle to when I was their age, as did I , from the way my parents lived... And the world over, parents will moan about it... I don't ...I always allowed my kids to live how they wanted, as I cannot live their life for them...Your dad will not change his mindset, so maybe just realise he can't help it . I know it's tough.

[Native spirit]

To my way of thinking i think your dad is Lonely and by you paying into everything you are giving him the freedom to do other things
you have your own life to live i would cut my loses and let him be/ move on with your own life. sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind


Namaste

[Guff779]

Thank you very much everyone for your input and suggestions!

[WhiteWarrior]

Guff, I think perhaps you should listen to yourself and maybe start protecting yourself too. And I think you already know what you need to to, but struggle to find the strength to do it.

I think it's just that your Father wants you to grow up, so to speak, earn money for yourself independently, and not think that just because he has a house that's paid off and "significant" savings, that that has anything to do with you.

[Guff779]

Thank you all again.

I have grown up and living myself independently, earning money, he doesn't even wish for me to move out when I want to.

He also says I've made me grown up so its time for me to do the opposite.