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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 21-11-2020, 02:54 AM
Raven Poet Raven Poet is offline
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Location: Northern Prairies of Turtle Island
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Medical assistance in dying (MAID) in my family

Hello. It's been a while since I visited. My older sister's husband was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer 3 weeks ago. He's on palliative care. Today she texted me to tell me that he and his doctor have agreed to medical assistance in dying for him.

This is a topic I always agreed with and felt strong about - in the theoretical. But now that it is within my family, I find myself shell shocked over it. It just went from abstract to personal.

I am not close with him; we never really hit it off you could say. But I absolutely loved my sister and am preparing myself to go to her when she tells me she wants me there. She has already told me she wants me to come and share ceremony with her after ... after...

I can't even say the words right now. But that's okay. I'll get there.

I would be grateful for any responses that can help me build up strength and courage so I can attend to my beloved sister. I want to be strong for her when the time comes. Miigwech - thank you.
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Gichi Manitou, daga wiidookawishin inaadizi mii dashnii gichi-inenimigoog ni gichi-ayaa'aag
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  #2  
Old 21-11-2020, 03:56 AM
BigJohn BigJohn is offline
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My mother was diagnosed as being terminal. She wanted to go and be at home. The Doctor recommended the family be present and we were. Her drops of morphine on her tongue were increased. She felt no pain. I was the one who announced she had gone and then went downstairs to the street..... and cried.

I wish I could say more, but I can't.


We come into this World ........ and we go out.
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  #3  
Old 21-11-2020, 04:54 AM
Raven Poet Raven Poet is offline
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Hi, BigJohn. I appreciate your response, and sharing part of your story with your Mother. I'm googling resources on how to attend to someone who will lose their loved one to MAID. It's weird - these past few years, I've been reflecting on how I feel a call to training in what I hear called a "death doula". There's something sacred about attending to someone who is exiting this world.

But I had to admit I was a little shaken for the first time to have this calling come this close.
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Old 21-11-2020, 10:06 AM
irisa irisa is offline
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I would be grateful for any responses that can help me build up strength and courage so I can attend to my beloved sister. I want to be strong for her when the time comes.
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Hi Raven Poet,

what a sad and tough situation for them and you and every around...

Your question on how to build strength and courage so you can attend your beloved sister...it makes me think of my work in the ICU years ago. So often a partner or other family member would sit down beside the bed of their very ill or even dying beloved family member...so often they tried to not cry...when i told them that it is okay to cry, they always said they didnīt want to show their tears and grief...they just wanted to show strength because that would be of best help for their beloved...

Of course, it is all about their wishes, though in my honest opinion...being there for and with someone grieving or in pain or very ill or whatever sad situation...īcome as you areī...

To me, when i read your question for responses that can help you build strength and courage to attend your sister when the time is there...to me this already is full of strength and courage: your wanting to be there for her. I think in this thereīs already everything you need. Donīt think to much about it...go and be with her. Let come, what wants or need to come out...tears, words....let your heart lead you...you both...nothing is wrong...when you donīt know how to attend her, just say so...tell her...but i think this wonīt be necessary...in the end everything is love...sadness, anger, grief...all these are about love...

Wishing you a lot of it!!
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  #5  
Old 21-11-2020, 01:42 PM
Elfin Elfin is offline
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Hi RavenPoet.... Such a terribly sad and personal account. I can only say that I have no experience of this myself. I can only agree that it must be very difficult when the "thought" of it does in fact become a reality in your life. And even though I cannot give an answer , I can say I wish you and your sister , her husband, and all the family, the very best in such terrible circumstances. Love to you all.
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  #6  
Old 21-11-2020, 04:24 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Hi Raven poet i can Empathise with your situation I must say i agree with his assisted death situation.
I know most people speak of it and dont think it will affect them personally.
When it does its a different ball game,
Being there for your sister is your prority when it happens.
You have to put your own Thoughts and Feeling about him away to deal with Later.

You are stronger than you think you are.and remember this may be his wish to have assisted dying not your sisters so she will have conflicted feelings about it to, she will need your support.


Namaste
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  #7  
Old 22-11-2020, 07:12 AM
asearcher asearcher is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2020
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I'm so sorry for this very tough situation you're in.

My belief is that one is destined to die somewhat around the death date in itself, in this reality or parallell reality.

This is a hopeless situation. It is done to prevent him from feeling more pain and for him to keep struggling without a chance to beat this thing. Be there as if you are with someone who is dying naturally.
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