Hi Sweetie!

[FallingLeaves]

his twin
is never
going to quit being mean

he knows that

he supposes
in his mind
she wants to make him mad

he doesn't want that
that is the worst possible place
he can think of going

so never the twain shall meet.

[FallingLeaves]

FWIW
he's felt that way
since the beginning
since the first day
she forced him down
this horrid road
he's had to be on.

he tried to tell her
but she would have none of it

so he guesses now it isn't possible
for her to change her ways.

Sigh.

[FallingLeaves]

the thing he hates most:

it just never ends
he never gets a break

let alone a sense of relief.

[FallingLeaves]

well even if its true
there's nothing
he can do about it -
now is there?

Besides
he is tired of hopping around
like a scared frog
any time anyone says
'boo'.

better off dead he guesses
------------------------------------------
he also gonna try
not falling in love
with everyone he meets
and see if that
helps anything
lol

[FallingLeaves]

i guess
'scared bunny-rabbit'
would have fit better

but
'scared frog'
is what first came to mind

lol...

[FallingLeaves]

hee is happy
the way he is
or at the very least
is changing to be

well at least the way
those things go
for a him

anyway
he doesn't need to be fixed
lol

as maybe he thinks
there is a grain of truth
to the adage
'things are always perfect
however they are right now'

-----------------------------------------------
he doesn't need help either

that was a mean thing
to do
to the blue girl
and he knows it
------------------------------------------------------
it is just as well
God has an answer to everything
lol

sometimes he hates
his lot in life
but
he's still gotta admire god
despite himself
and all his wishing
thing aren't the way they are

that guy has really got it all together

------------------------------------------------
well
but
he has an ulterior motive
for
not wanting
to see the new girl
yet again

above and beyond
that she doesn't want him
and he doesn't want to deal with her drama

really
any time he goes near people like her
it just ruins him
for everyone else
and he's tired of rocking that boat

better just
to give himself
time to let go

and give someone else
a chance.

That is
if anyone else even wants it...

as he's not the best fish in the sea

[FallingLeaves]

I read this over on the abraham thread:


Complaining about anything holds you in the place of refusing to receive
the things you've been asking for.
Justifying about anything holds you in the place of refusing to let in
the very things that you've been asking for.
Blaming someone holds you in the place of refusing to let in
the things that you've been asking for.


And I thought,
yeah,
but,
how long did it take me to see
through platitudes like that,
to understand,
that I truly did not want
the things I had been led to believe
that I should want???

And therefore things
I was led to ask for
were nothing but trash
to my real heart?

That getting trapped in those places
where I could definitely not have
the things I was told
to want
and to ask for
and knowing that was the case
was not as bad
as what I had been led to believe
and in fact led to much good.

when I started glimpsing that,
I also stopped
telling people
what to want

or even discussing
the way the universe is

because once you catch a glimpse
of how much damage
you are doing
by simply telling others
who they should be
and what they should believe
about this life

by having it done to you

you can never go back.

[FallingLeaves]

of course
if you aren't
going to tell people
who to be

you also learn
not to presumptuously correct them
when you see them
making
the same mistakes you just did
lol...

and eventually you find
it really just doesn't matter anyway.

life is life regardless.
-----------------------------------------------
as far as
discussing
how the universe works

well that quote I just gave
says something about
locking in what you don't want
by endlessly giving it
pieces of your life

that is after all
the definition
of the snare that holds us
----------------------------------------------
i just had a cold shower
that was nice

don't know if i can keep it up
all winter
though

[FallingLeaves]

well
maybe his reactions
are out of proportion

wouldn't be the first time

of course that is what his current
out of proportion
reaction
is meant to address

give him a break
from being interested
in making
further
out of proportion
reactions?

Anyway
whatever you say about
his own
proclivities
towards
bad behavior

it is still true
she doesn't want him

and one of his worst behaviors
is to assume she does anyway
and act accordingly

so
all in all
whatever the truth is
(and he knows well
he may be totally misperceiving it)
he thinks it about time
just to take a break...

he was going to do bad behavior
anyway
so
it seems only fitting
he uses his bad behavior card
to forestall
the opportunity
for more bad behavior?

oh well
he guesses he is just full of it anyway
and all of this is just him being silly
lol

[FallingLeaves]

he doesn't mean anything
by ghosting people

it is just
if they start wanting too much
he knows he will be punished for that
so he just wants to run and hide.