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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Past Lives & Reincarnation

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  #51  
Old 06-08-2020, 09:24 PM
russianpast_1904 russianpast_1904 is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 63
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tobi
Dear Russianpast1904,

You have a gracefulness about you, and a lovely way of writing.

What happened to Alexei, and all the girls, and indeed to Nicholas and Alexandra is quite heartbreaking. They did not deserve to be murdered so brutally.
It is particularly heartbreaking for the young women who had not yet had the chance to live much of their lives.

I feel so strongly about this and my mother told me about it when I was a child, and my grandmother was upset all her life about that tragedy.

For some reason I can't understand, this moves so many people so deeply. It moves them on a deep semi-conscious level.

I have never been able to understand why. There must be a spiritual reason. What that is, may be a little beyond us in this dense level we live on.

From the 1920s it began to show itself, with the woman, Anna Anderson, who presented with a very convincing conviction that she was the surviving Anastasia. I was amazed by her "recollections" of many events to do with the Imperial Family....her stories.....(how could she have known such details?) Maria Fedorovna, Anastasia's grandmother, then living in Denmark (luckily), did not acknowledge her as Anastasia however. Surely one's grandma should know?

There have been others since.

They are not imposters. They are not after the Romanov fortune. They are not trying to claim such things. All they want is to find their family, and find closure.
But what is going on?
Something is....and something that is surely valid. But is it what we immediately think it is? Or something more complex, or deep, in the collective consciousness?

I myself, have felt this influence. As a child I was moved to an "almost-memory" by seeing a picture of the diamond star....by seeing and holding a faberge egg in my late teens....by touching other works by Faberge (in a quaint little shop run by Marina Bowater in Kensington)
I was moved to speechlessness, and felt visceral strong threads of connection.

But when I put it to my "Inner Instinct" (at a later date), I was not convinced this was a direct reincarnation experience, but something else going on with the Collective Consciousness. Why is it happening to so many people?
We may be missing what it is,. We may not be aware of what it is,. because it may be much wider than we think, and unfathomable in this density.

God bless Nicholas, Alexandra, Alexei, Maria, Tatiana, Olga, and Anastasia. May their Souls have found a beautiful place in the next world (as I feel they did) May it be healed.
God bless Russia, so long-suffering under one regime or the other. They never had it easy.

Hi there Tobi! Thanks so much for reading my thread here and also being so kind and supportive! Haha, I've been told I write very eloquently, so I take that as a compliment!

Your thought process on the Imperial Family, and all that you've said was very deep and beautiful. I do believe I could have been him (though I could be entirely wrong at the same time), but at the same time I know some people who would agree with you on the family being safe and happy, and not here on this Earth.

I need to sleep however, as I didn't get much sleep last night haha! Too much time spent on revamping my art website ^_^.

Thanks again, Tobi it was so very sweet and kind of you to reply, and also for what you said!

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  #52  
Old 07-08-2020, 02:49 PM
russianpast_1904 russianpast_1904 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 63
 
Very bad dream.

So, how is everyone? I'm okay, but I didn't sleep well. Though my health is good, so that is the most important thing. Anyways.

I was dozing off and was looking at my bedroom door which was opened, and I could see in the semi-darkness out into the living-room. I shut my eyes and fell asleep and I don't know for how long. I was looking at the doorway again and Tatiana was there. She was in a white dress with long sleeves, her hair was long and over her shoulders - she had a ribbon tied in her hair. I thought it was my friend whom I believe was T but then I realised immediately that it wasn't. This person suddenly came at the door very quickly and she looked angry, and I knew who it was but I won't say their name here or go into much detail. She came through the doorway and barreled at me quickly and I remember thinking she was going to hit me or hurt me. I woke up, shaking and hearing myself whimpering. I got up and went to the small lamp on my desk and turned it on, and then pulled the door curtain shut. I was still shaking and couldn't stop looking at the doorway.

I've already told Tatiana and Marie about this (just a few moments ago) - T is now worried and upset because of me having such a dream. I hope this is the last dream I have of this individual like that again. Not pleasant.

Anyways, I wanted to share this. It always makes me feel better when I write things out.

Tatiana as I remember was the sweetest sister. I was very close to all of them, but T was my Uhlan. I call her that now even. We are still as close as we were then.

Anywho, I should have some breakfast, and get my mind off this dream.

Love and good health to you all!

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  #53  
Old 07-08-2020, 04:11 PM
asearcher asearcher is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 396
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by russianpast_1904
Hello again Asearcher! I couldn't agree more with all that you have said here! I know I don't look 100% the same as Alexei, but there are some similarities. I have birthmarks in certain areas which correspond with the memories/flash backs I have of the night Alexei and his family died. I also am hard-of-hearing (not majorly so, but I have to have people repeat things once or twice, maybe three times) in my right ear. I also would get terrible ear infections as a kid - that could be why haha. But Alexei was shot just behind his ear and despite that, it didn't kill him. I have memories of (as I mentioned I think?) being in the bed of the truck that had been outside waiting in the courtyard. I think I'm so tethered to that life (if it was mine), because of how it ended. It was so abrupt and didn't end quickly. It was drawn out. It was brutal and very, very painful. But the things that override that are images, the flashbacks of the girls, Mama and Papa, and our servants and Dr. Botkin dying. How it all happened.

Anyways, I should stop talking about that. The anniversary passed (102 years) so I'm going to try and focus on other things. Happier things. It's hard though, I'll admit what with a pandemic happening all over the World. This year has been nothing but trigger after trigger. I've talked to my girl-friend about it, other friends and some of my sisters. It's almost like a constant reminder of what it was like in Russia in 1917. How things were so uncertain. The Measles, which we had all been stricken with. One of my sisters (Alexei's) was tested positive for Covid-19 recently. She's doing a bit better, but goodness have I been worrying over and over. Praying, etc. She's eating again, which I'm so grateful to know that. She wasn't eating for a while. So there's that to contend with.

Now I'm veering so far off topic, forgive me dear!

Thanks for replying though and I'm glad you are okay!! Stay healthy!

hi sorry for the late reply I must have totally missed it. glad she is doing better. how did you two find each other? was it over internet or are you reincarnated together in the same family, friends etc? Only curious. of course you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it.

i have for most of my search of my recent past life - when i finally found her children for real - tried to tell myself: please look - it is alright. they are alright. they made it.

then it was the question of how she died that has puzzled me but has now been letting it go. i don't suffer from the flashbacks anymore either like i use to.

i think i am in some strange way, or imagination, subcounsious way, still conntected to the past life ex husband and I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. he was really like a shadow (ok that does not sound nice, right) over her life, the divorce was difficult (he did not want it, really and i was to get all the blame and he etc would try to make me feel guilty but he did not need to, i felt guilty already), some years there were also difficult after the divorce and then it was as if finally we found back to each other as parents, friends. I can never remember what he says in my dreams either and one part of me thinks it could really be him (because I visit him, somehow, don't ask me how, i have no idea, when he had just died - and I did not then even know he had died - found that out later, did not even know he was sick, in some spirit realm) and another part of me thinks well perhaps it is only because she was so use to having him in her life that it is an echo of memories? he would often do most of the talking anyhow during their marriage and after.

i read of your latest nightmare - do you think it is a real life ghost or a friction of memories taking place?

please take good care too :)
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  #54  
Old 08-08-2020, 02:06 PM
russianpast_1904 russianpast_1904 is offline
Pathfinder
Join Date: Jul 2020
Posts: 63
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by asearcher
hi sorry for the late reply I must have totally missed it. glad she is doing better. how did you two find each other? was it over internet or are you reincarnated together in the same family, friends etc? Only curious. of course you don't have to tell me if you don't feel like it.

i have for most of my search of my recent past life - when i finally found her children for real - tried to tell myself: please look - it is alright. they are alright. they made it.

then it was the question of how she died that has puzzled me but has now been letting it go. i don't suffer from the flashbacks anymore either like i use to.

i think i am in some strange way, or imagination, subcounsious way, still conntected to the past life ex husband and I have no idea why, to tell you the truth. he was really like a shadow (ok that does not sound nice, right) over her life, the divorce was difficult (he did not want it, really and i was to get all the blame and he etc would try to make me feel guilty but he did not need to, i felt guilty already), some years there were also difficult after the divorce and then it was as if finally we found back to each other as parents, friends. I can never remember what he says in my dreams either and one part of me thinks it could really be him (because I visit him, somehow, don't ask me how, i have no idea, when he had just died - and I did not then even know he had died - found that out later, did not even know he was sick, in some spirit realm) and another part of me thinks well perhaps it is only because she was so use to having him in her life that it is an echo of memories? he would often do most of the talking anyhow during their marriage and after.

i read of your latest nightmare - do you think it is a real life ghost or a friction of memories taking place?

please take good care too :)

Hello again, Asearcher! Oh please, don't apologise! ^_^

Well, better is the objective - she's feeling horrible once again. She just recently was able to leave her bedroom but now is lying down again - so I'm very worried. Marie found us all via a forum most of us frequented years ago. Tatiana recognised her through her writing funnily enough - that seems to have carried over for all of us. I've even been told I still speak and write the same way. I don't really notice it but when it is pointed out to me, I do notice it. Though we've not all incarnated in the same country, family, etc - we all seem to have come back having a lot of similarities - including blood types which I find weird xD.

I'm glad that your past life's children are okay and healthy! That must be a huge relief. It was a great relief knowing that my friend's (Alexei's sisters) were okay and alive and not harmed. Remembering the death we all had been dealt has left such a deep imprint on us all - especially Marie and I. For some reason or another, we seem to be the ones who are still tethered to that life more so than the others. I'm glad you don't suffer from flashbacks anymore! I do have flashbacks, mostly good ones but sometimes a bad one or two, or sometimes a flood of them hits me from all sides. I have learned to sit or lay down in a quiet room or place and just shut my eyes and wait for it to pass.

It's interesting that you feel you are still connected to your past-life husband. I think when we've lived a past life or past lives, we still have some or even a major connection to someone we knew in that life-time. They really never "go away" so-to-speak. They are always there. Alexei's parents are a prime example of this. I know I'm still connected to Mama and Papa. I miss them terribly each and every day. I've met a few contenders who could have possibly been them - I sometimes think that I just want them back so badly that I'll settle for whomever and that's not healthy. I'm still learning and growing. I still at times feel like that 13 year-old boy who is still in the cellar room where I died.

It seems you are still tethered to your past-life ex-husband for a reason? I hope you are able to pin-point why. <3

Well, the nightmare was... it was definitely something. The woman who in the dream was dressed as Tatiana is a claimant who claims she is Tatiana reincarnated. I've never really had a conversation with her but she has a reputation for being nasty to other people who claim to be Romanov children reincarnated. There's a social media campaign to show her up for the bully she is - I want no part of it. At all. I have my sisters (and even if I wasn't Alexei? I have four lovely women whom are my greatest, truest friends). And this is what matters at the end of the day. I used to be very na´ve and I still am in a way - and I'm also still very trusting of everyone. I always see the positive and good in everybody - never the bad. But I'm still growing, so that's important to remember. We are all still growing.

Alexei was very trusting of many people. It was just before the end that he confided with Claudia Bitner. She was a former teacher, turned nurse who came to Tobolsk to help give lessons to him and the girls (OTMA) as education was still very much valued even in exile. Mama and Papa even gave lessons. Claudia was a sweet-natured, patient woman. I remember telling her that many people had lied to me. She was one of the few people I could really talk to outside of my family, and the servants who had been sharing the difficult times with us. I felt I could confide in her very much. When I learned that she died, long after we did (in this life), it made me so angry. Why kill someone for just helping us? She was an innocent human being. So many people died just by being connected to us. Servants, courtiers. I cannot comprehend why they had to die. They had families and friends just like we did. They were human beings. Just because of loyalty? It's not fair that they had to suffer. They did nothing wrong.

I should stop myself, because now I'm getting over wrought and emotional. I get like this when I think of the people who were so loyal to us and went with us into exile. Some survived, and a great many perished because of their loyalty. I'll never understand it. It's too painful to think about even.

Anyways... I should eat some breakfast. I think eating will help. Thanks for replying dear, and I hope you are able to figure out the connection more so with your past-life ex-husband. <3

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