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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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Old 13-09-2021, 04:30 AM
XenaMari7 XenaMari7 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2021
Posts: 16
This breaks my heart.
Until you find a solution- use the internet …. It seems you have internet and a phone to use , so those are great tools, especially the internet…. Keep looking up social service places , call and share this same story you shared on here. Are you able to work?
Until then, Meditate , pray, if you don’t already.
I will keep you in mind.
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Old 13-09-2021, 04:12 PM
Lucky 1 Lucky 1 is offline
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Texas Gulf Coast
Posts: 2,745
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You're an adult and can make your own choices.....

RUN!!!! Don't look back....JUST RUN!!!

Fix your own life first....then if you feel obligated to help your family...you can do so from a position of strength....and have a place to go home to when you need that.
Yes I Am a Pirate! 200 years too late....the cannons don't thunder...there's nothing to plunder...I'm an over 40 victim of fate!

The ocean has always been my mother...salt water cures what ails me....
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Old 14-09-2021, 12:17 AM
spiritedfriend spiritedfriend is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 11
I'm suprised by some of the thoughtless comments here. Please try to find an NLP practitioner and also EMDR. Both these treatments will readjust the way your brain functions and allow you to start making the changes you so desperately want & need.

Your mother likely had trauma in childhood, perhaps through not having an available primary attachment figure (parent) because these things are reflected when we become adults. Drugs fulfil a void and multiple short term relationships show unwillingness to commit, likely due to past relationship trauma (parent or otherwise).

You are your mother's prized child. This is very unhealthy behaviour to aim at a child. The parent is using the child to gain something for themselves, or else increase their sense of self worth. This can evolve into coercive control and I see this very much in your writing.

I think you would find attachment theory useful. It talks about parent/child relationships. Your mother was probably unavailable emotionally and did not meet your needs even as an infant. This can have a major impact in developing your sense of self - parent doesn't show you loving care or acknowledgement and this just becomes normal reality for you, along with any unhealed traumas or distress.

You say you feel like a 6 year old child. I have no doubt this is so and woe behold anyone that tells you to grow up and move out. How rude of them.

Your mother takes advantage of this and justifies why you need to stay under her. This is coercive control and arises from you being the "prized child". Research attachment theory and also NLP treatment to recovery from this. Your words alone tell me that you have not developed a sense of self and likely your self esteem is derived from your mother's approval. NLP will assist your brain in changing in such a way that you are finally able to support yourself mentally and emotionally. Confidence in yourself will develop during this process and you'll become an individual, completely seperate from your family. By this stage in treatment, your history will not be so much of a burden to you. Your sense of self may allow you to walk away from it all together. But please continue some form of treatment to help you intergrate your new life, otherwise you are apt to repeat your past no matter how much you try to avoid it.
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Old 15-10-2021, 11:18 AM
Antonio94 Antonio94 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Vietnam
Posts: 29
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First of all I'm sorry for your situation. It's a painful situation that is extrenely difficult to get over with.

Personally, I'd suggest changing environment, frankly speaking, leave your home and live somewhere else.
This is not simply abandoning your family or home, it is about giving yourself a new chance.

In an abusive environment, it is extremely difficult to change yourself, let alone changing your family members. Pardon me if I'm being rude, but I feel that currently you lack capability to change your current home. In this situation, it's best to leave the house and find somewhere else to live. Changing environment will let you detach yourself from the toxicity and give your time to heal yourself. During this time, you can also seek helps from professionals so that you can gradually change yourself for the better.
Once your healing progress is done, you can decide to get back to help your family.

I understand the hardship of leaving your beloved home. But before helping other people, you need to be able to heal yourself first. And leaving your home will be the first great step to give you a new perspective, and more importantly, a new life.
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