Having an interesting spontaneous fast

[Demy]

Originally Posted by davidsun

Comes across as fairly collegial nevertheless - like a 'vibrant', with both partners making 'independent' inputs, 'marriage', I'd say.

WOOHOO!

You made HER laugh.
And yeah, I am a male. As I heard it is rare for a guy to have a lady angel.

No, we do not have a good working relationship. I make sure of that ("eat glass and die" is a basic response from me). What I lost, LOST, in the past 3 years, and what she (partially) admits to arranging, does not make me a happy guy.
As I posted in another thread, I had other voices.
I now have a problem with HUGE entities in weird realms.
I fight multiple black masters.
I lost my job, main career, secondary careers, finances, relationships, resources, etc. All in last 3 years.
A few months ago I had 22 suicide preparations.
So, no, we aint got a good relationship.
She has a lot to make up.
While I work in the aetheric realms, I am not a happy bloke, which may explain why/how I got into banned dimensions.
Right now, she owes me 200K and a few top job postings. Lets see what happens...
Their Plan for me? I aint happy, and they know it.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by the_demi

You made HER laugh.
And yeah, I am a male. As I heard it is rare for a guy to have a lady angel.

No, we do not have a good working relationship. I make sure of that ("eat glass and die" is a basic response from me). What I lost, LOST, in the past 3 years, and what she (partially) admits to arranging, does not make me a happy guy.
As I posted in another thread, I had other voices.
I now have a problem with HUGE entities in weird realms.
I fight multiple black masters.
I lost my job, main career, secondary careers, finances, relationships, resources, etc. All in last 3 years.
A few months ago I had 22 suicide preparations.
So, no, we aint got a good relationship.
She has a lot to make up.
While I work in the aetheric realms, I am not a happy bloke, which may explain why/how I got into banned dimensions.
Right now, she owes me 200K and a few top job postings. Lets see what happens...
Their Plan for me? I aint happy, and they know it.

Oh wow! Please forgive my presumptuousness (pertaining to your 'side' of the relationship)

I see you walk a rocky road! I appreciate your 'humor' in face of 'the trouble' of it.

[Demy]

Originally Posted by davidsun

Oh wow! Please forgive my presumptuousness (pertaining to your 'side' of the relationship)

I see you walk a rocky road! I appreciate your 'humor' in face of 'the trouble' of it.

See the post in this category about GIANT entities and demons (I still cannot post links here). Should be about 60 reads and...0 responses, hehehe. I wonder why?

This is where I am.
I can clean buildings and people, destroy/cleanse/enhance locations, etc.
As I understand what I am shown and what I can do is... less traveled.
But, at same time, I am not subject to THEM. And my demands cause them...problems. So, we are working out.. our relationship? I know what they need from me and I am willing to give, but I want specific things in return. Yeah yeah all philosophers will object, but all I can say is: what they want from me, has... a price. They know what I ask. They have seen me...do.
I now look up into the sky and... smile.

[Demy]

shivatar: report daily, I would say.
DAILY. Mind, soul, body.

Would be good to know that your suffering is continuing and you are OK!

Make this thread your fasting blog.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by the_demi

This is where I am.
I can clean buildings and people, destroy/cleanse/enhance locations, etc.
As I understand what I am shown and what I can do is... less traveled.
But, at same time, I am not subject to THEM. And my demands cause them...problems. So, we are working out.. our relationship? I know what they need from me and I am willing to give, but I want specific things in return. Yeah yeah all philosophers will object, but all I can say is: what they want from me, has... a price. They know what I ask. They have seen me...do.
I now look up into the sky and... smile.

Sounds to me that you are approaching your relationship with THEM as a being a kind of transactional ('self'ish on both 'sides') marriage. I.e.: I'll be-and-do what you want me to be-and-do if you'll be-and-do what I want me to be-and-do.

Two comments:

(1) It won't 'work' - that sort of relationship always ends up with one party or the other , if not both, thinking and feeling that they are being short-changed and therefore ends up in 'wrangling' and, if the basis (reason) for the relationship doesn't change, 'divorce'.

(2) I don't think spirit guides (if they are at all 'enlightened' - I know there are some 'sickos' 'out there' in the spiritual realm) would be in it for transactional reasons - they would only be in it, like mature/healthy parents, for their charges 'good'. So, I doubt very much they would 'give' you the kinds of 'rewards' that you (greedily? egotistically?) want and are kind of 'threatening' to not 'uphold' what you think-n-feel is 'your end' of some 'bargain' wherein THEY 'need' or 'want' something from you as 'ransom'.

Bottom line: What is called codependency is inherently prone to becoming unhealthy. IMO (at least!) healthy soul development (as opposed to unhealthy devolution) is always in the direction of a soul 'individuating' and more truly becoming unselfishly loving for the sake of Love (which is Life) Itself, this in their own way for their own reasons and concomittantly not only 'allow' but 'encourage' others they are related to be/do the same.

I sympathize with the predicament your THEM must find themselves in. In their place, I would 'be tearing my hair out' (idiomatically speaking). I wish THEM the best wisdom (as stated above) in this regard. You too, stuck half-way-to-paradise, demi (as in 'demigod', maybe?).

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by the_demi

shivatar: report daily, I would say.
DAILY. Mind, soul, body.

Would be good to know that your suffering is continuing and you are OK!

Make this thread your fasting blog.

thats a bit too much work for me as I don't log on to this website except once a week or so, or if I have a lot of downtime and am bored.


It's going good. it's a pretty slow and steady pace, I'll get some downloads or uploads of energy every now and again. For example I will be kind of tidying up the day and getting ready when I may get a sudden burst of irritation. I just won't be able to calm down and will be slightly restless unless I dig around and figure out what is bothering me. Usually it is something important that I overlooked or did not address. Once I address it via making a plan I will feel better, then in the following days if I don't follow the plan I will begin to feel worse, and when I do follow the plan I feel better.

I would say that is a pretty special part about the fast. I'm just able to notice more subtle things, like patterns in my energy and others. Karma's basically.


physically I feel fine and walk my dog each day. mentally and spiritually and emotionally I am kind of in a mid-ground too. Part of me is trying to relax, another part of me is on the lookout since there seem to be a lot of subtle messages from the universe right now all I have to do is look or listen.

[Demy]

Originally Posted by shivatar

I'll get some downloads or uploads of energy every now and again. For example I will be kind of tidying up the day and getting ready when I may get a sudden burst of irritation. I just won't be able to calm down and will be slightly restless unless I dig around and figure out what is bothering me. Usually it is something important that I overlooked or did not address. Once I address it via making a plan I will feel better, then in the following days if I don't follow the plan I will begin to feel worse, and when I do follow the plan I feel better.

...

another part of me is on the lookout since there seem to be a lot of subtle messages from the universe right now all I have to do is look or listen.

yeah, reads exactly like the guided fast, initiated by the Aboves, to achieve their goals.
Fasting optimises your frequency and that makes you optimal for receiving. And, in all probability, work is being done on you.

Regarding those worries - the frequency optimisation pushes out bad "seeds", makes them noticeable and thus you can work on them.
This, as I understand is from both influences:
- your own aura wanting to cleanse of blockages;
- Aboves pursuing their objectives;

In my case I mostly feel not mental concepts (not anymore), but nearly-physical manifestations in my aura: balls of pain, stabbings, feelings of ripped aura, teeth itching, etc. And then, working on them would release the emotional/mental issues that resided within these "energetically-tightly-wound" locations.

As I worked on them, I understood that this release is a two way methodology:
1. A mental issue can be "unloaded of energy" and made benign,
2. If you find the energy ball/vortex and unload it, the associated mental issue vanishes.
I started off with the image->energy work, but then after one of the fasts, the floodgates opened and I spent a year just ripping out aura matter, not having time to watch their energy->image connections. Still am, actually, but now much less comes out.

Best of luck in your progress!

[Demy]

Originally Posted by davidsun

Sounds to me that you are approaching your relationship with THEM as a being a kind of transactional ('self'ish on both 'sides') marriage. I.e.: I'll be-and-do what you want me to be-and-do if you'll be-and-do what I want me to be-and-do.

I think this discussion deserves a separate post, e.g. "whats your relationship with forces above", hehehe.
Dont want to to hijack this fasting thread, as it is progressing well (for the fastee).

Am I hostile to my Aboves? Yeah I am.
They destroyed my life in last 3 years, and have admitted to that. External confirmations I also received from some shamans talking about a "plan".
As part of the plan, I lost my job, careers, funds, security, relationships. I was nearly driven insane in 2nd half of 2019 with an opening of floodgates (to which I partially refer in the HUGE beings post).
I did not ask for this, did not want it, did not need it.
They decided. And I lost everything.
And, I know what they want. Roughly, of course, as "above is unknowable, bla bla bla", but lets say that 80-90% certain I am.

Now, as an individual unhappy with what was done to me, I have the right to:
1. Deny them anything and drop out of the game altogether (a mental/emotional decisions, followed by some devoted work on "walls").
2. Seek cooperation from their competition (I have met them already).
3. Agree to cooperate subject to terms&conditions.
Option 4: become a mindless servile drone fulfilling their wishes and hoping for some sunshine is for... not me?
Simply put, I do not plan to be a smelly weird shaman talking to himself and begging for change.
What was taken from me I want back. And more, as they cost me years.
And THEN, me and them will work on the next steps, where, in a mutually-beneficial manner, we can progress.
I know what they need from me and that evens the game a bit.
I always recall the words of one master that "anyone at any point can step away and close the whole thing down. the Forces will be unhappy but cannot do much to open the doorway again, so they will have to wait till next incarnation or seek a different...victim/toy."
I liked my life before.
Yeah, magic and aetheric things were always around me, but in the last 20 years I grew to like a normal life, and now their intervention is not welcome.
Also, in the last 3 years I saw them get quite a few things...WRONG. So, not perfect beings, after all.
So, right now, as I work on myself, I do it centred upon:
Option 3 (they have been given a deadline beyond which I see no more reasons to continue, as my life will be destroyed for good, and a forest-dwelling shaman I am not nor will be)
if not
Option 2 (kind of... soon, especially with the growing insistence of the "other ones")
if not
Option 1 (its funny that this ability is partially related to what they want from me)

Am I an idiot? Quite probably.
But like many dead movie heroes would say "I go out on my own terms". In the end I have the ultimate power: deny them what they need.

A disfunctional relationship? Put my face in the psychiatric dictionary by that term. But I will be smiling.

[davidsun]

Originally Posted by the_demi

A disfunctional relationship? Put my face in the psychiatric dictionary by that term. But I will be smiling.

Decide what would augment your experience and expression of Love and Joy in the fecundly relational 'field' of Spiritual Life (maybe not with THEM, for now at least).

Maybe 'give up' power ('maleness') as means to anything. Hang loose. Focus on choice (yer 'femaleness' ). Keep on smiling.

This conversation is finished. Thanks for use of the 'room', Shivatar.

[shivatar]

Yes I can feel that happening. The vibration is making things shake and jostle so that a lot of things that are darker in nature have come to the surface to be worked through.


I'll try to keep working on how to take the energy out of something. I think I have a decent idea of how to accomplish that in my experience. Usually it relates to me somehow absorbing suffering.

Seems like most pains are not a pain of something, but a fear of something. Most pain's are not painful, but they mascarade as painful so they can be left alone. A lot of the healing I have been doing recently is just by becoming conscious of pains or fears. Most of the time the energy is tied up in running from such things. By facing it, you free the energy.