Confused about this connection

[Strength]

Hello, I’ve posted here before a long time ago and I’m still pretty confused, I just wanted some insight again and I wanna try to present the right information for anyone who can help. So, this person I’ll be talking about, the thoughts and nagging have been more intense lately. I am in a relationship with someone else, 8 months ago when I was with my partner for a year then with no thought of the person I’m questioning about, I started having a little bit of thoughts again about them after a dream I had. After that, the thoughts were on and off but lessened until recently they have come up intensely again which is why I am posting this, because I don’t understand. I am still with my partner, we broke up for a couple of months but now we’re back together.

-I will now be sharing a combination of things I wrote back in 2017/2018 and things I wrote around June 25 2020-

- I wrote this around 2017/2018 -

Okay so, almost 3 years ago I began experiencing a strange attraction to someone that confused the hell out of me. It was not romantic or sexual or anything like that. Whenever I thought of this person I would get this rush in my chest and I would think about them all the time!! These feelings confused me because I didn’t understand what I wanted from this person (who btw I didn’t know very well, barely knew them actually.) We have a large age gap. A few months later ( I should say that I only saw this person maybe like 5 or 6 times after I first saw them and all times didn’t last long) my feelings were so intense but not of romantic nature, but they started developing as romantic feelings, but nothing triggered that because I don’t think I even saw them. With this change I was trying to cope with these feelings (I never felt so strongly about anyone like this before) even before the feelings got romantic they were so intense and strong that I didn’t even understand them. So, after seeing them for the last time, these feelings persisted.

i kept trying to forget them and make myself busy with other things because nothing can ever happen. These feelings stayed with me for maybe 8 months. I started to forget them slowly and not think of them much because I started university so I managed to get myself a bit busy but sometimes they always remained in the back of my head. Because I never felt this way about anyone I would also sometimes compare other people to them and small things would remind me of them (I knew this person very little)

But like mainly over the years I thought way less of them and they were not taking over my life as before but if someone mentions them or I see something that relates to them, I get this feeling of yearning or longing. Then, end of October 2017, I started having these feelings again and thinking about them constantly till this day actually. Nothing triggered this and I haven’t seen this person since I last saw them almost 3 years ago at that time.

- I wrote this June 25th 2020 -

The intensity of these thoughts and feelings have been fluctuating since that time in 2017 until early 2019 where I finally felt some peace about the whole thing and I felt like I was able to just let them go, it dialed down a lot. A few months later I met my now partner who I love. We've been together for a year now and I felt like our meeting and everything was destined and perfectly orchestrated by the universe. I felt so strongly about my partner that my feelings for this person seemed silly and truly solely an infatuation. I didn't feel anything for this person all throughout, barely even thought of them, I was all about my partner. Until a couple weeks ago where I felt them sneak back into my mind again and I don't feel like it's fair for my partner especially that I'm feeling a bit disconnected and pulling back from my partner a little bit.

These weeks I've been seriously feeling this innate calling to them and I just don't know why they creeped back into my mind again. To add on that, today I had a very vivid dream about them, which had me clinging on to those emotions all day, which prompted me to write this. Because my confusion persists regarding the effect of this person, especially considering I don't really know them that much.

Back then, when I was super into this whole thing and my feelings were overwhelmingly intense, my thought process was the following

- This is what I wrote around 3 years ago maybe -

"I feel like I can’t love them because I don’t know them well enough but I have this feeling that I have so much love FOR them!
So, I’m confused and honestly just plain tired!!! its exhausting that I can't seem to shake them off!! And would love some insight!"

"I thought this might be infatuation, but can infatuation last that long?"

"Are we karmically connected or something? Why I think that? —> because after meeting them I began getting into spirituality and I feel like we have a connection somehow and well also because I’m struggling to get them out of my mind but then again that happens to everyone with crushes so idk"

"Or could it be that thing where people say that you’re thinking of them because they’re thinking of you.."

"I’m also very into spirituality now and I grew a lot and learned a lot of stuff and I feel like I owe it all to this person, not because we talked about it or anything but because meeting them opened the floodgates to me learning about this stuff."

- Present me now lol-

I dont know.. yeah what do you guys think? That idea of them being my twin flame or soulmate or something has always been absurd to me, to be honest, I also highly doubted it but they were the reason I somehow stumbled upon twin flames in the first place. I dont know...

If someone can offer some insight, that'd be highly appreciated.

Is it something spiritual or karmic maybe or idk or am I just being dramatic?

[dianamadalina]

2017 I Was hearing her voice for the first time.
2018 Couldn't meet
2019 Someone was saying "good morning"
2020 We shared how much we love each other
2021 baby

[Deeprem]

Definitely feels like a past lives connection.. maybe worth speaking to them.. clear the air at least..

according to brian weiss we have many soulmates, me thinking this could be one of them. if it is a threat to your relationship then isolate as much as you can, if not, well, this I don't know, you too express romantic feelings for this someone periods.

you could be connected to this other person as it is a soulmate and too that you are mentally connecting, your energies.

If you wish to improve your relationship try to connect more with that person you are involved with, some people are more easy to connect to than others so one has to work harder on it. If you are like me in a relationship then you know some things come easy, others don't, and you have to keep working on it. That too could be meant to be, that you have to work harder, learn more through pain. and finally be rewarded, as a couple or as single. If you too keep getting back together to then split again there is something not right, that you two need to work on, obviously, so this won't keep on happening, if you now wish to stay together that is.

You have to chose how much energy are you willing to put into this? How important is it to establish what kind of relationship it is? THat is one piece of it. The other is I think too this could be past life connection, soulmate, nothing you can do about it but accept it. It may too be one way which was past life and then in this life it needs to establish a different kind of relationship.

You could have unfinished business with the soulmate which can create some energy too.

I have relationships with soulmates that can be for instance old friends but we don't have to talk or see each other alot, we always pick up where we left off, I don't give them much energy when part, not because I don't care but because we live busy and different lives and may be living geographically apart.

You have too, I guess, establish what kind of relationship would you want with this other special one?

[dianamadalina]

Feelings about needing to hear ,"last seen days ago".In my own private life can enter. Suffering that I do not love her, to admit.In front of .Her emotions into my body. Can be wiser this.