Dad dismantled my car

[ragdoll]

I've gotten a bloodstone recently, and my dreams have been pretty...intense I should say. Preface, Monday I got in an altercation with my dad. He pushed their old dog and she collapsed. I told him "that was mean" and he got ANGRY. He started yelling at me. Mom did nothing. I told him not to yell at me. He yelled more, something about needing to defend himself and I was being judgmental, and it was his house and he could yell if he wanted. I was getting anxiety, since I have PTSD from this sort of abuse from when I was a kid, and left. I then felt very bad about not being able to protect myself or the dog. I was angry at him, then at my mom for not speaking up or protecting either myself or the dog.

The next day I did text them both and told them that it was disrespectful and inappropriate, and they can't treat me like that again, and how it triggered a PTSD panic attack, and that this was not up for discussion.

Anyway. To the dreams. In the dreams, my dad was trying to force a desk into my black (now totaled and gone IRL) car, which he had also ripped pieces out of, most notably, the front seat back rests. He just left it all out on the driveway of my sister's house and refused to put things together. Later, my mom was following me about like nothing was wrong, even though I told her I didn't want to talk. I woke up very angry.

There were other parts to the dream but that's what I remembered.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by ragdoll

I've gotten a bloodstone recently, and my dreams have been pretty...intense I should say. Preface, Monday I got in an altercation with my dad. He pushed their old dog and she collapsed. I told him "that was mean" and he got ANGRY. He started yelling at me. Mom did nothing. I told him not to yell at me. He yelled more, something about needing to defend himself and I was being judgmental, and it was his house and he could yell if he wanted. I was getting anxiety, since I have PTSD from this sort of abuse from when I was a kid, and left. I then felt very bad about not being able to protect myself or the dog. I was angry at him, then at my mom for not speaking up or protecting either myself or the dog.

The next day I did text them both and told them that it was disrespectful and inappropriate, and they can't treat me like that again, and how it triggered a PTSD panic attack, and that this was not up for discussion.

Anyway. To the dreams. In the dreams, my dad was trying to force a desk into my black (now totaled and gone IRL) car, which he had also ripped pieces out of, most notably, the front seat back rests. He just left it all out on the driveway of my sister's house and refused to put things together. Later, my mom was following me about like nothing was wrong, even though I told her I didn't want to talk. I woke up very angry.

There were other parts to the dream but that's what I remembered.

ragdoll - First I'm sorry you were in this situation with your parents dog being hurt and the argument ensuing.

Vehicles move you along in life and so when one dreams of a vehicle, what's happening in the dream is a good indication of how one is moving through life. Vehicles also are symbolic of ones freedom and feeling of being in control. Because your Dad dismantled your car in your dream, it's my guess, you might currently be experiencing real life trouble with your relationship with this person to the degree you are losing sense of self and control of your life. You said you suffer from PTSD. That alone could trigger these types of vehicle dreams. Also, the condition of a car in a dream suggests the condition in which you are moving forward in life. Perhaps Dad stands as a road block, not just in your dream, but perhaps in your life.

I commend you for coming back and texting them about respect and revealed with gut honesty how you are feeling.

[ragdoll]

I don't want him to be a roadblock. It does feel like he is sometimes though. I grew up under him, so of course my outlook is effected by him. I asked myself the other day: how long until I won't see the world out from his eyes? And I am always trying to do that. I feel like I challenge myself every day and I won't be free of it until he and my mom are old and gone.

I remember getting a reading where someone channeled my grandma (my dad's mom) and she said not to let my dad keep me from doing things. I try my best to do that. But the one thing I want to do is write a book about what happened to me, but fictionalized. The only thing holding me back is INTENSE fear that they would find out somehow. I tell myself I will wait until they pass on. But then I am like...I need to find a way to do it so they won't know its me.

I feel more in control in putting up a boundary and not being afraid to say my piece. I couldn't do that 10 years ago, or 20 years ago. I realized he had no power over me. What was he going to do? I wasn't in his house. He can't kick me out. What can he do by my telling them that this incident was not OK? That's what they used to threaten me with. Kicking me out of the house. Sending me to foster care. Taking away my cat.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by ragdoll

I don't want him to be a roadblock. It does feel like he is sometimes though. I grew up under him, so of course my outlook is effected by him. I asked myself the other day: how long until I won't see the world out from his eyes? And I am always trying to do that. I feel like I challenge myself every day and I won't be free of it until he and my mom are old and gone.

I remember getting a reading where someone channeled my grandma (my dad's mom) and she said not to let my dad keep me from doing things. I try my best to do that. But the one thing I want to do is write a book about what happened to me, but fictionalized. The only thing holding me back is INTENSE fear that they would find out somehow. I tell myself I will wait until they pass on. But then I am like...I need to find a way to do it so they won't know its me.

I feel more in control in putting up a boundary and not being afraid to say my piece. I couldn't do that 10 years ago, or 20 years ago. I realized he had no power over me. What was he going to do? I wasn't in his house. He can't kick me out. What can he do by my telling them that this incident was not OK? That's what they used to threaten me with. Kicking me out of the house. Sending me to foster care. Taking away my cat.

ragdoll - It sounds like you have set some clear boundaries at this point in your life and when your parents cross those boundaries, you speak up. That's empowering, so hopefully these types of dreams will change.

I think the first time I ever stood up to my father is when he was packing the van to take me and my stuff to college. He yelled at me about what I was taking and I looked at him dead in the eyes and said, "Don't you ever talk to me like that ever again. I'm not a child." He was surprised to say the least.

He tried to give me more of his negative opinion of me a few years later and I said, "What makes you think I give a da_ _ about what you or anyone else thinks of me or what I do?" My family then accused me of causing him to go to the hospital because it upset him so much. Of course it was a false alarm. I think he had a massive anxiety attack.

Life continued and he refused to give me away at my wedding because he didn't approve of my fiance. So I gave myself away.

My siblings are all close to him, but my mother told me he respects me more than anyone in the family. Go figure. Push back as long as it takes and be true to yourself ragdoll.

[pdizzle45]

cars represent transportation, the parts of the car are you. good news though, it was a dream. you're still riding your car.

i've never dreamed about my dad. he was pretty mean