Compulsion to doubt.

[Miriah]

I know its my stupid ego, but I'm just venting about my own idiocy right now. 😔
Its just so bizarre having more than enough reason to maintain faith in my twin but still doubting him as a default or something. I know there's a better word to describe what's happening but its not coming to me right now.
Its like I'm doubting just to doubt and there's no real reason or rhyme to it.

I know it could easily be resolved, but these things never are supposed to be easy I guess.

I just want to be consistent for him, but next thing I know ill be pointing my finger at him again.
Wishy-washy, that's a great word to describe it.

[Mused]

If he didnt do anything to lose your trust...it sounds like maybe you just dont trust him because of your own fears
Its not ''stupid ego'' tho

so....maybe its a good idea to find out what you are scared of

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Miriah

I know its my stupid ego, but I'm just venting about my own idiocy right now. 😔
Its just so bizarre having more than enough reason to maintain faith in my twin but still doubting him as a default or something. I know there's a better word to describe what's happening but its not coming to me right now.
Its like I'm doubting just to doubt and there's no real reason or rhyme to it.

I know it could easily be resolved, but these things never are supposed to be easy I guess.

I just want to be consistent for him, but next thing I know ill be pointing my finger at him again.
Wishy-washy, that's a great word to describe it.

yeah i've done that to others... and as well had it done to me. That wishy-washy stuff isn't with the twin though it is with someone else who I always respected a lot... I've thought sometimes she might be even more desirable than the twin to have around but of course I'm too wishy-washy to do anything about it lol!

[Miriah]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

yeah i've done that to others... and as well had it done to me. That wishy-washy stuff isn't with the twin though it is with someone else who I always respected a lot... I've thought sometimes she might be even more desirable than the twin to have around but of course I'm too wishy-washy to do anything about it lol!

Funny thing is I consider myself the chaser.
I told him how I feel more than once.
I put my reputation on the line to be with him, and being a Libra rising that speaks volumes.
But I was skittish if he made an attempt.

It wasn't lack of interest or not knowing if I wanted to be with him, it was fear of breaking some unspoken cosmic law that would shatter the world as I know it.
I still have a vivid memory that I lost him in a past life. The intensity was intimidating.

I'd love for the intensity to level out, even though its terribly addictive.

[Miriah]

Originally Posted by Mused

If he didnt do anything to lose your trust...it sounds like maybe you just dont trust him because of your own fears
Its not ''stupid ego'' tho

so....maybe its a good idea to find out what you are scared of

I'm scared of being star-crossed and breaking a law the universe set for me and causing a tragedy to unfold in our lives because I asked for something I wasn't supposed to.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Miriah

Funny thing is I consider myself the chaser.
I told him how I feel more than once.
I put my reputation on the line to be with him, and being a Libra rising that speaks volumes.
But I was skittish if he made an attempt.

It wasn't lack of interest or not knowing if I wanted to be with him, it was fear of breaking some unspoken cosmic law that would shatter the world as I know it.
I still have a vivid memory that I lost him in a past life. The intensity was intimidating.

I'd love for the intensity to level out, even though its terribly addictive.

yeah it is kind of a love-hate thing. You so want it but there are also reasons for not wanting it so you kinda sit on the edge....

in my last lifetime I was female... the twin decided he didn't want to be with me which was bad enough but then I tried to make myself feel better by trying to force the issue... so of course he had me killed and I landed here, in the worst kind of male life... any more I think it is kinda like, the twin acts like judas and will betray me on a dime if I get silly... as much as I want it I also know instinctively that I don't want to be betrayed again either... so it ends up being a dance where I alternately reach out and then pull back...

I'm the chaser too...