Experiences with online dating?

There's plenty of men to choose from on dating sites, but you're going to have to do a lot of initial character discernment. I do agree that conversations there can often feel forced (there also seemed to be a lot of posturing, making it hard to get a feel for some people), which is why I eventually moved on.

As for a dating thread on this site, I think it's unnecessary. Members are perfectly capable of developing connections and discussing taking it to the next level in private, and frequently do elsewhere on the web. I feel like a forum that actively encourages that is going to partially shift the mindset of people away from discussion and the topic of the forum and more towards analyzing other members as potential dates.

What I don't like about internet dating is that people can portray themselves however they want. And, even if you talk to them a lot before meeting, you still don't have a sense of the real them, even though you think you do. Two guys I've dated in the past have profiles up on a dating site and it's nothing like who they really are. One of them I talked to for months before meeting and still he was different than what I thought.

The one thing I always do before meeting them, is to google them and find out about them. One guy I met on-line seemed really nice and we talked for awhile and I almost met him. However, I did some research on him first and found out he was a sex offender.

[Emmalevine]

The site has no plans to run a dating thread but, as someone pointed out, members who want to correspond on a one to one basis already have the freedom of private messaging, plus of course there are plenty of spiritual dating sites on the web.

Sorry about your experience Autumn, that must've been frightening.

I agree online dating is contrived by nature, but some people including myself are stuck in a lot and it's the only good way of meeting people. I also think it's good if you have particular interests such as spirituality where there's less chance of meeting people on an everyday basis who share those interests. There's always going to be dangers and pitfalls but the advantages far outweigh the negative aspects I think. But if you can meet people locally through work or socially then that may be enough.

[froebellian]

I know how you must feel.. online dating is instant and can make you feel good. I felt good with a full inbox, took it with a pinch of salt and left it at that.

Personally my worst relationship was through online dating.. scarred me for a while as many go online with expectations.. you don't get that chance to see and get a gut feeling.

As I said in my last reply on your other post, I tried to make it work as I felt I should and it was just unnatural and I was no longer me.

Saying this I have friends who are in relationships with men from online dating,and although they say they are happy.. do we really know if they are settling as its easier? Would they admit they are settling? I don't think anyone would.

I am still holding out for 'fate'.. I would rather be alone than settle and be with someone for the sake of it and to have to adapt to an extent I would no longer be true to myself. All relationships need a level of adaptation but there are limits.

Well guys, I have a date today with someone I met on an online dating site. He seems like a good person, but again autumn is right that it is hard to tell till even months later to really know a person. We are meeting up at a restaurant so it is a big public place.

Originally Posted by autumn

The one thing I always do before meeting them, is to google them and find out about them. One guy I met on-line seemed really nice and we talked for awhile and I almost met him. However, I did some research on him first and found out he was a sex offender.

Wow. I did think about doing that, but I still need more information about the person and I guess that is why I am a little wary.

Originally Posted by froebellian

I am still holding out for 'fate'.. I would rather be alone than settle and be with someone for the sake of it and to have to adapt to an extent I would no longer be true to myself. All relationships need a level of adaptation but there are limits.

I have to admit that my two previous ex's felt like we met by 'fate'. One guy I used to know from high school and then we didn't see each other for like 8 years and then met up and I learned he had a crush on me the entire time. I was like 'Awwww. This must be the one'. And it wasn't. The other guy was someone I met in an office and I had such good vibes about him and had that 'head over heels' feeling. I waited till a year later and contacted him and found out he felt the same way. I was like 'Awwww. This must be the one.' LOL It wasn't. I am started to feel that those 'special moments' or fate sadly doesn't work for me Wish it did though Now the possible story I might be telling my future kids is: "Yeah, I met your dad through an online dating site. Very romantic."

oh my as a 'newbie' i must remember not to use 'tongue in cheek comments' or humour to often lol
I've never known a dating thread on any forum, have you? hence my tongue in cheek comment, sorry that i seemed to offend some of you.
As for fate, lovely as it is, I thought my ex was fate........ for 17 years, maybe I should have googled him! As he really who he pretended to be. A fooler is a fooler where ever you meet them ;)

[Emmalevine]

I certainly wasn't offended by your comment Earthstar if it's me you're referring to! It wouldn't be unusual for people to request a dating thread- in fact I used to moderate a site where people were asking for one. That is why I responded to the comments here.

[froebellian]

I guess it all depends on what type of relationship you want too?

I would rather have 1 year of a good relationship than 10 years avoiding each other and making it work..

Problem with many dating sites, people multiple date to keep options open-

Often people will tell you what they think you want to hear rather than what they truly believe and feel- not just in relationships.. me I just say it as it is.

I say go for it. I've been with my partner for a year and almost a month now and we met online. I feel you can get to know someone so much better if you do it that way. Just my opinion though :) Good luck !!

I had to write when I saw this (as I'm one of the founders of a spiritual dating site). I do believe in online dating - it's definitely the feature of dating as such. 1 in 6 couple meet online. This number will grow overtime, I'm sure.