Possible to be TOO healthy for most other people?

[John Elessar]

Figured this was more on-topic here than in the SMTS forum. I sometimes ponder the forces which bring people together, and also drive them apart. While people can get attracted/attached to each other for "good" reasons, oftentimes it is true that they'll hook up as a chance to work through a lot of negative stuff. And, when they fail to do so in a healthy way, you can get a pretty dysfunctional relationship.

So what happens when you've cleaned out most of the crud from your basement and attic, honed your sensibilities to a fine razor edge and shined your soul that much more brightly, and wander out into the Wilderness of Dating? Will most people pass you by since you lack any of those dark "hooks" that might otherwise draw them in? You refuse to play those old games in which you have long since lost interest and have outgrown, but they still want to play them.

Is this at all clear to anyone else?

[Xan]

Yep..........


Xan

[SpiritCarrier]

I see what you said as very clear.

I am going to tell you my experience and you can take that for what it is worth to you.

I cleared out all the crud. I made myself happy. I brought the light inside myself and found happiness within. I stopped playing all the games people play. You know what I found? Someone just like me. Well he has done all of that too. I dreamed of him, and he is real. I couldn't believe it when I met him. He was a little more reserved in the beginning than I was but he has always been straight with me and that is important to me.

When you find someone that has gotten to the same place in their life as you have gotten, it is fireworks. I wish you well. Don't compromise though. It took me 10 years to find him but I was sure that he was out there.

Peace and Light be yours,
SpiritCarrier

[John Elessar]

I am the Master Uncompromiser. I just wish I knew why I got someone who refuses to be straight with me. It would be much easier to get over her if I didn't see her at work.

[7luminaries]

I am just starting to venture out. I agree with Spirit Carrier about getting centered and being clear in what you stand for and what is important to you.

I absolutely agree about not compromising. I can't tell you if you or I will find that person who will be a true partner in mutual love and support. Truthfully, we may or may not ever find that person. These are as you say dark times and a lot of it depends on where you live, the demographics and so forth.

But we will have our beautiful souls and our inner light to shine. We have to live with ourselves no matter where we go, so be true to yourself and please don't feel you need to settle for something when your heart isn't truly in it.
And it seems I too will not have a soul connection in my life day to day. And so we have to be open to the possibility of another future, now that we are at the right place in our lives and with ourselves.

I agree that it's not that appealing out there when your heart and has been touched by something deep and real. If I'm not with a soul connection, I really wouldn't mind if I was alone forever, as I feel like I am going through the motions. But I still have a long life ahead of me. And I feel the absence of soul connection in my day to day life on the ground.

To be honest, I am trying to go on some coffee dates because my soul connections, past and present, have opened up my heart to love...but no one is in my life day to day on the ground. It's all quite sad and rather tragic on some level, isn't it? But then again I was told repeatedly by one...don't count on me, as you deserve better. By the other, don't count on me, (as I deserve better)...heheh no he didn't actually say that...just the bit about don't count on anyone. And of course it's true no one is perfect. Only God & your guides never lets you down, as you'll let yourself down plenty and forget about others, LOL...That's the other thing I've learned from all this. I have had it beat into my head & even better, into my heart. Where I learnt it well & good !!!

And now that I know it is truly possible to have this love, something broken inside of me longs for it & mourns the loss of it in my daily life so deeply in my heart and in my soul. For all the spiritual benefit and growth, a part of me truly longs for the time before. When I could believe that real love from the soul was only from God and guides. Not for us mere mortals. I was happy in my ignorance, and peaceful in my solitude. I miss that innocence and that place so badly I can taste it. I can't tell you how much I miss that. I let it out from time to time and meanwhile try to get on with it.

So, really, I am not on an active hunt, rather more a forced march (LOL).
But I am trying to view the coffee dates as a trial of sorts. Like so much of life ;). A trial of my determination to gut it out. Heh heh...and yes that's pretty much it. Keep your expectations to rock bottom as far as outcomes...but keep them very high as far as your standards ;)

Above all...IMO no compromising on what really matters, like my dignity and respect for my person on all levels. When you're not so deeply engaged like with your soul connection (for whom you would move mountains to be with anywhere anytime if at all possible)...here you can certainly be more impartial...if you are being disrespected or treated casually, you just draw the line, cut it and move on. With all due courtesy of course ;)

So onward...and let's send each other some moral support!
Peace & blessings,
7L

Yea ...

[gypsymystique]

I'm not one to compromise either, and I have cleaned out my crud. The more I embrace my life, the closer I get to someone who is right for me. It takes time though.

You are correct, having no crud does not cause others to cling and waste your time.

Yes, I am another who has worked through many personal issues to arrive prepared for a higher level spiritual relationship. When my partner and I met and began our journey I thought the hardest part was done. Now after three years I can see that by coming together after both working through perosnal issues we have a new set of issues surfacing, both personally and within the context of our relationship together.

I love how the Universe provides constant opportunities for self discovery! Just when you think you are done, a few more begin to pop up.

SO while people with negative hooks may pass you by and higher developed people may connect with you it doesn't necessarily mean life hasn't finished with the lessons it has in store for you! That's just my experience, and I kind of like it (even if at times it can ben really hard and intense).

Peace ~x~

I am presently working through the crud. A spiritual teacher of mine tells me that once I work through the crud, I will be able to experience a true love relationship rather than a need relationship, a relationship that is free of fear and judgement. I hear that when it happens, it will knock my socks off. Still wearing both socks at the moment. ; )

I believe it is important that we become the kind of person we wish to connect with... and then let it go. I no longer want to look for someone to make me whole. Only I can do that for myself.

Sharing off the top of my head...for what it's worth. Peace.

I've been on the wave for nearly two years now and it's awesome. I find that I am so disinterested in meeting anyone because I am very comfortable in my groove as a healthy single and independent woman. I've had enough experience with the 'general' guy and I always end up feeling like I am bored with the male ego, the male focus on pleasing me sexually and less so outside of the bedroom (again- the male ego) and the gut feeling that I shouldn't really 'trust' this person or this bond.

It'll maybe happen in my lifetime (and I feel I have a lot to do with helping other people catch up to me by putting it out there that I am who I am)... And if it doesn't happen, then I will have not missed out on much.