The party I felt I needed to not attend

[Grace222]

I received an invitation to attend a graduation party for my daughter's best friend who I greatly like. Yet, I felt I couldn't attend because the mother invited a common acquaintance that is a narcissist who I see through, making me a target of the said narcissist. The mother either can't see or isn't willing to take the social risk. I wonder the latter, as my daughter's best friend mentioned to my daughter that her mother was going to try to 'shield' me from the woman. I'm actually quite witty (and cutting) when I need to be. But I don't want to be this way. And my logic is why would I subject myself to walking into a situation (oops! I mean 'party') where I need to be on the defensive? It saddens me all the same not to go. Thankfully, I was outside when the girl came home from the graduation (we are neighbors) where I was able to congratulate her on my own. My daughter was able to just be with her friend as well. *sigh* Life has its challenges.

Grace222, know what you mean, been there. As if taken hostage each and every time. Worst part is seeing how well the narcissist can manipulate it's surrounding, and people half getting it and half not. Try take it as a compliment, even if one experience one would not want, as the narcissist knows you know what it is all about, that's why you are a threat. Be glad it is no relative, family member of yours, then you are more stuck.

Good thing you could congratulate the girl on your own and that your daughter too got away from the narcissist's clows. Good too you stuck to your gut feeling.

[Grace222]

Originally Posted by asearcher

people half getting it and half not.

Asearcher, you absolutely nailed it with this phrase. It is so frustrating when people are unable to see the full extent of the narcissist's toxicity and craziness. The "unhinged one" lives in my neighborhood and occasionally slows her car down in front of my house and then guns it or tries to mess with me in traffic if we happen to be on the road together - but of course never when there are witnesses. If anyone is with me, she notices and doesn't pull her shenanigans. But as you mentioned, I am indeed thankful this woman is not a family member/spouse/co-worker/etc. - she really has little influence in my world except for this friendship with my neighbor and her daughter. I just keep going about my business, abiding by the saying “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”

Thank you, Grace222. Yes, I hear you. Yes too, that is so typical, doing or saying things when there are no witnesses. Has happened to me too. Great saying of yours, I have never heard of it before =)

[lostsoul13]

You shouldn’t let people’s self absorbency get in the way of you having fun!!! Glad you enjoyed either way!

[Grace222]

lostsoul13,

If only it was just self absorbency - she's crazy.
Thank you for the kind sentiment though! :)