Plutonic relationship with opposite sex...

Sounds like a good relationship. At least in the absence of sex, partners can become more fully acquainted with each other - their habits, likes and dislikes and there's no hidden agenda.

The downside is that if you feel sexually inspired you'll be taking a chance when, if, this develops. You (perhaps rightly) don't mention how "experienced" both of you are; how tolerant of sexual habits (I don't mean necessarily kinky stuff, just your proclivities).

If you feel completely at ease with the guy; if you like him, then it's worth thinking about moving in. The relationship may change slightly as the ground rules / boundaries will change, so if you feel you can cope with that, why not?

Honesty is the most cherished possession in a relationship!
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Sounds like a good relationship.

Yeah really?

Posts #16 & #17 below.

Originally Posted by Angnix

Yep... Accused of molesting a kid while babysitting... He's on probation after he did time for it, claims innocence...

Originally Posted by Angnix

Oh, and I asked and he explained he can't date me because in the past he's also been accused of taking advantage of mentally vulnerable people... I'm bipolar and autistic so yeah... Also he tells me this older woman is just his friend... But I've overheard phone conversations with her... He tells her he loves her, etc...

Still think it sounds like a good relationship Lorelyen?


zzz...

Originally Posted by ant

Yeah really?

Posts #16 & #17 below.


Still think it sounds like a good relationship Lorelyen?


zzz...

Read the whole o/p for heaven's sake!!

"I'm currently in a relationship with a friend I met a little over 6 months ago after my husband passed... I mean we are like peas in a pod... We get along very well, share our secrets with each other... Go a lot of places together, etc... But we have had spats where he will say he can't date me for various reasons... He's Christian and doesn't consider real romance is proper all the way up to marriage, if you know what I mean... But he makes off color jokes all the time... Interesting... I joke back with him. Also, he's trying to clear his name of a crime and I've even heard there is evidence he is innocent, but my online friends tell me never to trust someone with a felony... But what he said today was interesting... He said one he clears his name, he really wants to move in with me...

I mean ummm... I don't know how to feel. We are so close that people are assuming we are romantic, seriously. Anyone have any advice? Hes more fundimentalist than me religiously but we dig each other.."


And you damn the person? Do you know how penitent he might be? Do you know if he's actually guilty?
Are you willing to throw the first stone? Have you never done anything, let's say, "dodgy" like charge your smartphone in the office or walk away with a ballpen/pencil? Perhaps you are entirely innocent...in which case, throw that stone.

But if Angnix is worried about these things, why is she with him at all? It's "plutonic" by which I suppose she means platonic. No commitment has yet been made. Should she scrap a friendship because 'on line fiends...' sorry, I mean 'friends', have put the frighteners on her?

zzzzzzzzzzzz.....to you too as you like being rude. Take your zzzzzz and buzz off, eh?
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Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Read the whole o/p for heaven's sake!!

I have,

and taken everything into consideration,not just a few lines you've highlighted.

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

zzzzzzzzzzzz.....to you too as you like being rude. Take your zzzzzz and buzz off, eh?
.

Rude?zzz was in reference to not reading the whole thread.

Take a chill pill.

Originally Posted by Angnix

The felony thing I know way too much about that story... It's serious enough that he can't move in with me unless his name is cleared. There is only a 3 year age gap (we both are in our 30's). We buy each other presents... In fact he gives me more things than I give him and he's even paying for my cable TV right now... He currently lives with my uncle, in fact my uncle's girlfriend died around the time my husband did and her son, this man,moved in with my uncle afterwards. I did live with them for awhile but my uncle is toxic and I left... He calls me his "cousin" (we are connected because his uncle, when he was alive, use to be married to my aunt) but many people and I agree consider that a poor excuse because he's not a "blood" relative... So there are things going on that are weird.

Oh, and he specifically mentioned he thinks kissing isn't moral before marriage, but I can't figure out his limits cause I guess he doesn't consider tickling and back rubbing a moral? Also he jokes about sex often in a very crude way which is odd for someone who claims to have those restrictions...

Originally Posted by Angnix

Oh, and I asked and he explained he can't date me because in the past he's also been accused of taking advantage of mentally vulnerable people... I'm bipolar and autistic so yeah... Also he tells me this older woman is just his friend... But I've overheard phone conversations with her... He tells her he loves her, etc... Somethings not right and I know it...

Originally Posted by Angnix

Yep... Accused of molesting a kid while babysitting... He's on probation after he did time for it, claims innocence...

Originally Posted by Angnix

I'm currently in a relationship with a friend I met a little over 6 months ago after my husband passed... I mean we are like peas in a pod... We get along very well, share our secrets with each other... Go a lot of places together, etc... But we have had spats where he will say he can't date me for various reasons... He's Christian and doesn't consider real romance is proper all the way up to marriage, if you know what I mean... But he makes off color jokes all the time... Interesting... I joke back with him. Also, he's trying to clear his name of a crime and I've even heard there is evidence he is innocent, but my online friends tell me never to trust someone with a felony... But what he said today was interesting... He said one he clears his name, he really wants to move in with me...

I mean ummm... I don't know how to feel. We are so close that people are assuming we are romantic, seriously. Anyone have any advice? Hes more fundimentalist than me religiously but we dig each other.."

Lorelyn,

Did you read the thread? I didn't think ant was being rude to you?

JL

Originally Posted by janielee

Lorelyn,

Did you read the thread? I didn't think ant was being rude to you?

JL

zzzz.... means someone is bored with whatever. A column of zeds - dozing off. Haven't you heard of it?

No matter, I said my piece with nothing more to add here.
.

Ok. Really surprised you think this relationship is fine, but sure, you’ve said your piece.

Jl

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

zzzz.... means someone is bored with whatever. A column of zeds - dozing off. Haven't you heard of it?

Sorry,your interpretation of zzz,differed to mine.

Don't assume nor be one eyed.

What we react to,is unresolved within.

Originally Posted by ant

Sorry,your interpretation of zzz,differed to mine.

Don't assume nor be one eyed.

Exactly.....
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Originally Posted by janielee

Ok. Really surprised you think this relationship is fine, but sure, you’ve said your piece.

Jl

Simple. (I did make an assumption - that the relationship was platonic. Never heard of a Plutonic one).

If the tone of the relationship is not to the o/p's liking, it's up to her to wean herself off it. If she wants to give credence to on-line so-called-friends, then that's up to her. She is no spring chicken, perfectly capable of arriving at whatever conclusion she must. - or if not, other questions are begged.

In situations like this we usually only learn one side of the story and that side is wide open to interpretation. Example: what does she expect of the relationship? Has she called it platonic/plutonic for the 'usual' reason; is the chap hiding something to keep it platonic, is she looking for a lifelong engagement, et cetera, et cetera?

As long as it stays platonic it's as fine as it could be but she would be advised to have a safety net if she moves in with someone. She doesn't yet know what living-in with this particular person may involve. Get the ground rules sorted out before it happens.
I'm not even sure it's a spiritual issue. Decide on ones requirements then ponder on whether they can be met by the arrangement/person.

Ok?
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If my assumption was wrong and there is a plutonic kind of relationship I'll stand corrected. On tiptoe.