Is 'Being Yourself' Selfish?

[Shivani Devi]

In time, this distinction too, shall vanish,
When you cease to become and just allow yourself to be,
Effortlessly.
Then you won't need to lose yourself to find me,
For we shall move, speak and act as one,
As nothing moves independent from my volition,
Yet the awareness alone shall remain,
In love's binding embrace.
For in the biased view of another,
You shall never be who you truly are,
Neither will it allow you to fully rest,
Within the peaceful beautitude of spirit,
And you'll just keep on searching for what you already have.
For selfishness is only known to selfishness,
Whilst non-identification is its own reward,
So just let the wolves bay at your doorstep,
They're most likely hungry...and possibly bored.

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

We have heard it so many times 'just be yourself' but often those who advise us to be like that, don't like the 'self' that we are and forever try and get us to change it.

We are advised to speak from our heart, but then we are accused of being too much 'me-centred' too 'selfish' or expressing our own feelings, needs and desires as if no care is given to those of another when that is not necessarily the case.

So, what if 'being yourself' means to be those things many others may find distasteful, inappropriate or conflict with their beliefs and opinions, yet you are totally happy being who you are?

Are you doomed to wander the earth existentially alone because being who/what you truly are puts you at direct odds with the majority? or do you become who you are not simply to please others and put on a mask so that you are otherwise accepted into society?

I'd love to read replies on this matter. Thank you.

The problem is that both the ego and the soul identify as "i, me". So when we are saying "be yourself", mostly what we mean is act from your soul.

When things go wrong it's because we are acting from the egoic self and mistaking it for our soul self.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by shivatar

The problem is that both the ego and the soul identify as "i, me". So when we are saying "be yourself", mostly what we mean is act from your soul.

When things go wrong it's because we are acting from the egoic self and mistaking it for our soul self.

Thank you, Shivatar. Very wise words indeed.

Although my ego identifies as "I" and "me" whilst my soul identifies as "Shiva".

Yeah, I received that same message last night and in your list of 'spiritual tips' there was one that stood out:

surrender to yourself.

Which is something I don't do as often as I should for the above to fully occur, even though the whole distinction is generally made when it does.

It's like yeah, I have the experience, the awareness and it comes through at times (when the ego allows it to happen)...but my ego still fights to remain in total control and I'm putting up a barrier...a resistance-de-force to it because I want to speak and act from my ego and not my soul.

So, I'm not really acting from my egoic self and mistaking it for my soul self, when I'm just predominently acting from my egoic self, period.

P.S. A random thought just popped into my head...cool!

Sometimes I'll act from my soul-self but mistake it for my egoic-self...and in such cases, God gets ticked off.

*He's saying to me "the hubris, nemesis and catharsis is very strong in this one" at the moment.



Okay! Okay! I get it...you can stop now! lol

[markings]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Totally playing the Advaita 'devil's advocate' here, but if there is no self, how can people know who they are?

I'm just asking for it, aren't I?

You can't know who you are, except in a physical sense but that is not what the question is about. The question is about attitudes, thought, feeling, emotions. They always change, so which one is the true you? The one you like, habitually display and more or less works for you in the physical world?

We can't know because what we know, our thoughts, are already in the past and that which we are has already changed because the very thinking about it has changed it.

[markings]

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

I've heard a plethora of stories of spiritual teachers leading disciples to enlightenment by just posing one question. "tell me who you are and i will set you free"

Student: Master, please free me from bondage.
Master: Who binds you?
Student: No one.
Master: There, I have freed you.

[Raziel]

What irks me personally about quotes like the one above are that essentially there is no master.

If the student says "ah ha - got it" then is the student now a master?

Master of what - the obvious?

I remember in the programme kung-fu where the master says "when you can take the pebble from my hand - it will be time for you to leave" - eventually after years of training Caine the student is fast enough to take the pebble & the true lesson is learned - that's a master/student .

Necro for all of her crazyness is far more a master than the one in the quote! (said in jest with love & respect)

Perhaps it's like algebra whereby I never ever need it in life so my spirit tells me not to waste my energy.
.

[Snow Goose]

Originally Posted by markings

Student: Master, please free me from bondage.
Master: Who binds you?
Student: No one.
Master: There, I have freed you.

Kind of reminds me of a Dalai Lama quote.............. I get what you say about stating the obvious Knight

[shivatar]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Thank you, Shivatar. Very wise words indeed.

Although my ego identifies as "I" and "me" whilst my soul identifies as "Shiva".

Yeah, I received that same message last night and in your list of 'spiritual tips' there was one that stood out:



Which is something I don't do as often as I should for the above to fully occur, even though the whole distinction is generally made when it does.

It's like yeah, I have the experience, the awareness and it comes through at times (when the ego allows it to happen)...but my ego still fights to remain in total control and I'm putting up a barrier...a resistance-de-force to it because I want to speak and act from my ego and not my soul.

So, I'm not really acting from my egoic self and mistaking it for my soul self, when I'm just predominently acting from my egoic self, period.

P.S. A random thought just popped into my head...cool!

Sometimes I'll act from my soul-self but mistake it for my egoic-self...and in such cases, God gets ticked off.

*He's saying to me "the hubris, nemesis and catharsis is very strong in this one" at the moment.



Okay! Okay! I get it...you can stop now! lol

I understand. The same thing happens to me all the time. It's like my soul will take the wheel but I'll only recognize my soul was driving once my ego takes the wheel back. It's frustrating.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by markings

Student: Master, please free me from bondage.
Master: Who binds you?
Student: No one.
Master: There, I have freed you.

Nah....

Then the Master usually says;

"Okay then, show me the sound of one hand clapping" or "show me your face before you were born" and then either fills your tea cup until it overflows, or tells you to go sit outside and watch the grass grow all by itself.

...and of corz, Necro then does this:

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by SaturninePluto

My current situation is dire. I do not care if people think I am selfish at this time. It has come to a breaking point. I need to be selfish. I need to do what is best for myself right now, I need to be thinking about my future. And I do not care whether or how much my family does or does not like it right now.

I take much of the light-fluff- positivity spirituality with a grain of salt. Not because there is genuinely anything too wrong with it per-se. Sometimes I often admire those with a less troubling path. But I do feel it is very narrow and one sided. I am a firm believer that sometimes, it is actually quite necessary to be self serving. Especially in dire or emergency or tough situations. I have been practicing Shamanism for years. I do not sugar coat things. It isn't a path I'd advise too many to take, especially the variety I am cursed with.

I am not the healer type, at least not in the physical sense, help I offer to be honest is to hone gifts, and is probably considered quite self serving. I am practicing my own intuition. I am not rude or disrespectful to those I work with. I am not mean spirited. I do not charge a fee. I ask for feedback. That is it. I started wanting to help people, and that is what I aim to do, but I do not subscribe to a light fluffy path. I've seen too much of the spirit world to know better than to believe everything is absolute good.

If I wasn't myself I'd be lying to myself. And I refuse to lie.

If people don't like me it is fine, I'd rather them not go out of their way as an enemy but I've had a good share of that too.

I also like to be heard and acknowledged as a fellow human being. I am often not. I do not have many friends, I consider true friends. I do not even see the one's I still do.

I spend hours in internal dialogue with myself. I ask others questions they go unanswered. I am constantly offering guidance help and attempts at answers.

You can not force others to acknowledge you.

The most I myself see fit to do about it is to acknowledge those I can as I have been on the spectrum of not being acknowledged myself at times.

I wish very much so to talk of my spirituality with like minded people. There are not many practicing shamans or natives I have found willing to talk. More than quite enough of them charge for spiritual courses and what have you.

Many websites tell you to be called to shamanism one was be struck by lightening or have a near death experience and be taught by an elder Shaman.

??? The hell is this?

I never had a physical teacher- I am constantly learning by technique trial and error, I have never been struck by lightening, I have had a near death experience. That isn't enough in my opinion.

I asked God to give me a sign to whether I should undertake the path or not. I asked God (Mentally) to let me know then and there whether I was called or not. I made it clear I was serious.

I got the image of a certain feather (belongs to a certain type of bird) and the distinct thought that if I opened my medicine bag it would be there. I opened my medicine bag- the feather was there. I consider the type of bird to be my power animal. That is too strong an indication of a person's type of medicine to ignore.

I've had no peace and quiet ever since.

Just honestly wanted to converse with you Necromancer.

I do not mind your arrogance too much either, it simply doesn't bother me.

Main point is, sometimes we do need to be selfish, sometimes it is for our own good. Whether others take kindly to it or not.

Blessings.

Blessings to you as well.

This is to say I noticed your post and didn't skim over it, I was just trying to find a way to respond to what you had said.

Yes, I am all too familiar with 'Shamanic requirements' and all those 'spiritual qualifications' one needs to be 'spiritual' when according to others, if you don't possess them, you're simply not. It's all rather egotistical and silly...I admit!

By all rights and respects, I am not 'qualified' to be a Hindu either. I wasn't 'born' a Hindu nor was I born in India, I had little to no formal training to be one, and I am beyond the whole 'caste system' as they don't have a 'caste' for elderly Caucasian female divorcees born in Australia.

That being said...and please listen closely to this one...

Hindus believe in reincarnation, yet they conveniently deny it when it comes to your 'spiritual requirements' in this lifetime! I could have been an Indian-born Brahmin priest last life who had an unsuccessful fling with a white, Caucasian female...you could have had a near-death experience in one of your past lives that qualified you to be a Shaman in this lifetime!

So, whenever anybody says anything to me about my 'spiritual qualifications' I'm like 'okay, so how many past-lives do you wish me to include here?' and that usually shuts them up...totally!

I'm thus usually left to my own devices to do 'my own thing' and generally 'my own thing' doesn't match with hardly anything that I am supposed to be doing according to who wrote all of those holy books that are like 'spiritual instruction manuals'...but as long as the love is there...the commitment is there...trying to better yourself is there...and if you have the capacity to help others...that is there...then who cares?

I now understand about people's expectations and they place them so high...it becomes an impossible standard for others to live up to.

I was thinking this morning, that I have such expectations when it comes to finding a mate of the opposite gender, so I do not go out actively seeking one because of it...I have filed all that away in the; "we'll only end up ticking each other totally off, so better not go there in the first place" basket...yet some will still actively search a mate out, knowing what they want from a prospective relationship and then become totally depressed because they can't find anybody who 'fits the bill'....then again, I have been totally spoiled in regards to what I would like my 'perfect man' to be.