Is 'Being Yourself' Selfish?

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

In some ways your boundaries are lost between you and others and just by being aware to acknowledge their drama, can actually put an end to your own frustrations and set a clear boundary in you towards external annoyances.

(you have to be ok what people think of you too as you come and be, so that acknowledgment is saying, I am ok as you are, but I don't have to stay in your presence and engage this reactiveness, I am worth more to myself than this. YOUR NOT READY FOR ME as I AM. That is self - FULL, not self fish and you are treating others how you wish to be treated and seen too and modelling to them how it can be. MODELLING HOW TO BE TREATED)

I also understand this and I get something else from it.

I will totally agree that I am fully self-centred, introverted and self-focused due to trauma and isolation.

I am on medication and receiving counselling because of it.

However, I must also understand that to most uneducated people (and a lot of people wish to remain that way) there is no difference between a total introvert and a selfish person.

One true beauty of it though is that I am so introverted, I have turned myself totally inside-out due to it and actually realised the nature of my true self in the process.

That being said, it still doesn't make interacting with others any easier in regards, but yeah I'm also a base individual and so I can say (with total humility) "just go suffocate in a pile of your own excreta, thanks" but today I have promised the staff that from now on, if I cannot say anything 'nice' I shall remain silent.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Yeah, it reminds me of my old beloved grandma "yes dear....whatever you say, dear..."

It's just difficult for me not to react when others perceive my intentions according to their own beliefs, when that is not how it is according to the one who actually intended it in the first place, ya know?

...however I also realise there are those who will also argue that black is white, a cat is a dog or the earth is flat just because they personally believe it to be so.

...and so, it is only natural for the mind to come up with some justification for total irrationality to appease itself whether that is true or not.

For peace of mind, we could just say that such people are totally 'delusional' or are 'on drugs' or something to justify putting them in the 'just do not go there' basket.

I do get it though...I get it ALL now, that when people say; "Stop preaching to ME! What makes you think your truth belongs to everybody" what they are really saying is "shut up and sod off because I don't want to listen to you".

My Higher Self also says to you "If only she would allow herself to slow down and actually listen...but alas..."

The balance in holding your own presence without reaction is the key to an empowered life, no matter what others are being and doing. When you move from a more grounded presence in yourself, you actually start to notice things in your own being that you are putting outwardly to others in defence of yourself.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

I also understand this and I get something else from it.

I will totally agree that I am fully self-centred, introverted and self-focused due to trauma and isolation.

I am on medication and receiving counselling because of it.

However, I must also understand that to most uneducated people (and a lot of people wish to remain that way) there is no difference between a total introvert and a selfish person.

One true beauty of it though is that I am so introverted, I have turned myself totally inside-out due to it and actually realised the nature of my true self in the process.

That being said, it still doesn't make interacting with others any easier in regards, but yeah I'm also a base individual and so I can say (with total humility) "just go suffocate in a pile of your own excreta, thanks" but today I have promised the staff that from now on, if I cannot say anything 'nice' I shall remain silent.

Regardless of your own private issues, my guage on your is that your reacting to reactions. That just requires patient restraint. Its a practice that like any other practice can be developed if you train yourself correctly in process.

I am an introvert. I know what your doing and being, because I see myself in you from previous process...Reactions are reacting to a cause within you to make yourself known and prove that you genuine and being honest. Tend to the cause that protects yourself and you will no longer need to react to bow down in this way to those who are reacting at you being you. Some people have potential some are not even scraping the surface of their behaviours. I wouldn't be here offering what I am if I didn't see potential in your own connections.

When admin set those kind of boundaries, they can support you to stop yourself, which is a good thing. Enforced training..:)

[youngnostic]

The greatest deed you can give to another is to sow indiscriminately into their heart; in order to do that you have to have honest of mind and express the contents of your mind honestly to that person. If others find what you project distasteful it's not a sign that you should stop being true to yourself because as solipsism states all we know is that we are. We cannot even prove that we are not a brain in a vat and the 10,000 forms are a hallucination or a part of our dream. We could be dreaming right now just like we believe we exist in a dream we believe this dream is real. So the only choice we have is to be ourselves. If we find that we clash heads with someone because of who we are we can always make note of that and work on our psychology so that we are at peace with ourselves and our fellow man and the Universe entire.
But it all starts with being who you are.
There will always be people who might misunderstand you when you're being yourself but you will also find people who appreciate you more for your authenticity. So the pros outweigh the cons. Invest in honesty of mind and start sowing into the hearts of men and reap the greatest harvest. that's my $0.02.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

The balance in holding your own presence without reaction is the key to an empowered life, no matter what others are being and doing. When you move from a more grounded presence in yourself, you actually start to notice things in your own being that you are putting outwardly to others in defence of yourself.

I also notice things, which I take on board, more by application than by theory:

http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...3&postcount=12

All of this is making my brain hurt though, but yes I understand that if another says something like; "you don't love Shiva" for example, I would not defend myself and say "yes I do" (because it totally goes without saying)....I would just think to myself "what a stupid, effing moron" and they would make my ignore list straight away, so why should anything else they say about anything not matter equally?

I mean, I sort of get this when Knight reminded me of it a few pages ago.

In another thread, Knight started out with the same approach as Kioma "you are preaching to me and making it all about you, you are so shiva-centric you know?"

Of course I became so ticked off, but instead of defending myself, I totally collapsed into the little game and played along"...

"Yeah Knight, of course I am making it all about me, because I am all that matters and I don't give a damn what you have to say about that, but tell me though, what are you going to DO about it? c'mon, put your actions where your mouth is...I dare you!"

Later, he said he blocked me for a while because he was ticked off too, but then he realised what I was doing...and now we are friends.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

Regardless of your own private issues, my guage on your is that your reacting to reactions. That just requires patient restraint. Its a practice that like any other practice can be developed if you train yourself correctly in process.

I am an introvert. I know what your doing and being, because I see myself in you from previous process...Reactions are reacting to a cause within you to make yourself known and prove that you genuine and being honest. Tend to the cause that protects yourself and you will no longer need to react to bow down in this way to those who are reacting at you being you. Some people have potential some are not even scraping the surface of their behaviours. I wouldn't be here offering what I am if I didn't see potential in your own connections.

When admin set those kind of boundaries, they can support you to stop yourself, which is a good thing. Enforced training..:)

Exactly! and now I am beginning to understand this and I'm happy to see it being approached from one who also understands.

That being said...remember that thread about a month ago when I asserted myself and you corrected me? we got into a bit of an argument over that ourselves, didn't we?

Came off with you suggesting I use more "I" statements and to become 'mindful' of others, when I wouldn't have a clue of how to do that because it is something I've never had to deal with before because it's only ever been just me and god.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by youngnostic

The greatest deed you can give to another is to sow indiscriminately into their heart; in order to do that you have to have honest of mind and express the contents of your mind honestly to that person. If others find what you project distasteful it's not a sign that you should stop being true to yourself because as solipsism states all we know is that we are. We cannot even prove that we are not a brain in a vat and the 10,000 forms are a hallucination or a part of our dream. We could be dreaming right now just like we believe we exist in a dream we believe this dream is real. So the only choice we have is to be ourselves. If we find that we clash heads with someone because of who we are we can always make note of that and work on our psychology so that we are at peace with ourselves and our fellow man and the Universe entire.
But it all starts with being who you are.
There will always be people who might misunderstand you when you're being yourself but you will also find people who appreciate you more for your authenticity. So the pros outweigh the cons. Invest in honesty of mind and start sowing into the hearts of men and reap the greatest harvest. that's my $0.02.

Thank you!

I also like the whole approach from the solipsism viewpoint and you touch my heart with the whole 'brain in a vat' thing!

I remember about a year ago writing a whole thesis about that on here.

Maybe it's also about my tendency to generalise just a tad when something happens three or four times in the course of a week and I'm like 'what the hell?'

Maybe it's just Mercury in Virgo square Saturn in Sagittarius and biquintile with Uranus simultaneously...who knows?

[Shivani Devi]

You also know that my 'Higher Self' can be an annoying pain in the butt too sometimes. lol

I was just about to go to sleep when I got this message:

https://cdn-images.threadless.com/th...pg?w=200&h=200

So, I was like 'please explain'.

Even though I have had those beautiful bliss experiences, those times I am not in bliss, my ego takes control more than it would usually as if to assert dominance over the whole 'other' experience.

It's all about 'fake it til you make it' in regards to humility and to speak from experiencing the state, even though I am not currently existing in it or allowing myself to exist in it...or whatever the whole deal is with that.

Many times, I am like "Oi, God...how often do I need to pray/meditate/go into bliss here before it becomes a permanent fixture of my psyche?" but all I am aware of is that once every 2-3 months ain't enough.

Sure, I meditate for about 45 minutes - an hour every day, do worship every day, more on Mondays...but I only do it superficially, as more of a token gesture, not allowing myself to go into it fully, because whenever I do, Necro is a 'write off'...totally and I mean forget my Higher Self/God coming through on those occasions as well.

...and so it becomes 'while you are waiting for the next wave of bliss to happen, write/talk as if you are still surfing on the last wave'...and running assures me that one day it's gonna 'stick' but if I don't keep on using the glue, the brush is gonna clag up.

So, what would Buddha do? Buddha is as Buddha does and McGuyver would just soak the toilet roll in the cistern.

being the the an self is what we need directions wise. heedeous get expelled at be the the an
self from "out pressing" inside the pressing pressing pressing pressing pressures by stay up to
"and or'd" step up to bright enough at "encourage sort of bams," "heedeous is the only fuss", that's my opinion

[Raziel]

Originally Posted by Shivani Devi

Yeah, it reminds me of my old beloved grandma "yes dear....whatever you say, dear..."

It's just difficult for me not to react when others perceive my intentions according to their own beliefs, when that is not how it is according to the one who actually intended it in the first place, ya know?

I do get it though...I get it ALL now, that when people say; "Stop preaching to ME! What makes you think your truth belongs to everybody" what they are really saying is "shut up and sod off because I don't want to listen to you".

Sooooooo...

Well, well ,well ....

I can only speak personally but for me whenever we have debated a topic certain "shivacentric" notions have been stated as categorical fact.

Faith is personal & if anyone were to be honest it's very concept within the main belief systems is decided by someone else, on another continent possibly thousands of years ago.

I would joke about Crom being my God which would garner a chuckle at times yet my point was very valid - the way a person worships, to whom they worship is pre-packaged.

Some like Pepsi - others prefer Coke, mine is the God of the land, yours is the God of everything therefore it is the ultimate God.

At times there is a dismissive nature to anything other than Shiva which to you is just & accurate yet there can be no communication if all anyone has to do is listen to "your truth" to set themselves free.

For me at least it isn't "my drama" it's more that someone in the thread is asking for help or advice & that practical or sensible offerings quickly turn into -

"ah well if your not wearing the special beads or eating the specific diet of God then of coarse your going to lose your cleaning job, God is angry".

It's convert a vulnerable person 101.

I love hearing your perspective, also a Muslims perspective etc etc - someone has to have something to offer amongst us all collectively.

.