Letting children decide for themselves about religion

Well said Berry.

[Celera]

Originally Posted by Tara_Joy

I think my fear comes from not being able to control what they choose, which would obviously contradict what I said about letting them choose, but none the less it is my instinct to try to control.

Trust me, as someone who has raised two sons to adulthood and seen many other kids grow up in all kinds of homes -- you won't be able to control what they believe about anything.

If you try, as my parents did, the odds are they still won't believe what you want them to believe, and you will only have strained your relationship with them. Love them, talk to them, make them go to church if you want, with the understanding that they have to go and learn but they don't have to agree. The best you can hope for is that your kids will respect you and will make good choices for themselves, not choosing in order to be like you nor choosing in order to be different from you, but just finding their own good road.

Originally Posted by justme50

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

I don't understand the above words I put in bold italics ...

Anyway, Mom, you can't take it back now ...
They have the right to their own religious beliefs ...
The questions are: Do you want them to be happy? Do you want them to each posess a healthy self esteem & confidence in their choices? Do you want them to respect you? ...
If these are the things you & your husband want for your children than you both agree to "let it be" for the sake of peace & family harmony for now & the future of your unborn grandchildren ...

My main concerns w/my children are that they continue to live life w/happiness & love, believe in their own truth & enpower themself outside of their indiviual egos ...
I am a Jungian, eldest son (38yo) is Catholic, middle child (19yo) - daughter is Mormon, youngest son (17yo) plays X-box & 11yo granddaughter is Rosicrucian...
My home is filled w/many religious/spiritual pictures/icons such as bears & eagles (US Native American), Krishna, Santa Claus, Catrina Calavera, Buddha, Ganesha, etc to various types of tarot cards, talking boards, different religious crosses, dream catchers, milagros, books by Carl Jung & interpretations, the bible, excerpts from the Torah, books about karma, afterlife, reincanation, etc, so on & so forth ...
As a parent, I respect their choices, whatever I provide is given freely w/no expectations of satisfying "my ego wants or desires" for them ...
If they choose later in life to become atheists or agnostic, so be it ...
There are many issues not brought up for discussion at the Sunday morning breakfast gathering b/c its purpose is to visit w/one another, to be loving, kind & supportive ...
I believe this should be every parent's priority ...

[Seawolf]

Originally Posted by TeeHee

The no true Scottsman argument would apply here. And I agree, at least one (not to mention the entire congregation) is not a literalist since "she" is a priest.

Which is a good thing. Sexism is pretty ancient now, the few remaining stragglers will keep holding on proudly though. But we're thankful for them, resistance from conservatives fuels progress.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by justme50

Both my husband and I had been brought up by Bible believing, evangelical parents. We did the 'born again' bit as kids and were both embarrassingly devout as young teenagers. As the doubts became overwhelming, we lost our faith completely. He is a convinced atheist and I am an agnostic.

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

justme50 - I think it's only natural to expose our children to our belief system during their growing years. Although I consider myself a Christian, I left the formal church (Catholicism) a long time ago. But my son when he was little was baptized and made his First Communion. By the time he was old enough to say, "I don't want this," he dropped out and never went into the Confirmation stuff that I had to when I was an adolescent. Our whole family ventured away from attending church anymore, but we practiced Christian holidays like Easter and Christmas. My son over the years has lost touch with what Easter and Christmas means religiously and even asked just recently in his twenties, "Remind me which one stands for which again; I forgot." Though he doesn't forget his roots in Christianity. I bought a Buddha statue and put it in my garden because to me it represented peace, tranquility and contemplation through meditation. One day he said, "Why is there a Buddha in the garden; I thought we are Christians?" I realized at that point he still held a connection to the way he was brought up and I was confusing him. Now he is getting married to an anti-religion woman and yet they are having an ordained minister at their wedding and they asked for traditional biblical versus to be spoken. Go figure. By the time they are adults, like us, they decide what they adhere to and how they want to raise their own children. If I hadn't been brought up in the church to begin with, there would be a different outcome for both myself and my child. So I feel it's all in the way we're brought up.

Blackraven

[Morpheus]

"Raise up a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old, they shall not depart from it."

Proverbs.

[Morpheus]

Originally Posted by justme50

Both my husband and I had been brought up by Bible believing, evangelical parents. We did the 'born again' bit as kids and were both embarrassingly devout as young teenagers. As the doubts became overwhelming, we lost our faith completely. He is a convinced atheist and I am an agnostic.

When our children came along we decided that it was entirely up to them if they wished to embrace a religion. Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest. Fortunately, from our point of view, none of them are Biblical literalists, which we would find very hard to take.

There is literal, and then there is literal.


Look around you in the world, to see how the conclusion of things in the world is being manifested. As prophesied.

Both in the global human affairs, and, in nature.

Those who are as disaffected as you are against the Bible will be taken by surprise.
Though, you shouldn't be.

[blackraven]

Originally Posted by Morpheus

"Raise up a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old, they shall not depart from it."

Proverbs.

Morpheus - That can be applied to soooo much in raising children. Good Proverb to drop in here.

Blackraven

Originally Posted by justme50

Our three girls decided that Christianity had something to offer them, the eldest is now an Anglican Priest.

Gotta ask, what are the ages of your children?

Your story of raising your Children (now adults) is most beautiful and enlightening for not only myself but many other people who will read your Thread/Post and hopefully give their Children the opportunities of free choice. For without a Child being given all options for his/her Soul to choose God how unfair and sad for a Soul to be denied the opportunity of coming to know Jesus/God).

My parents gave all four of us the opportunities (ie free choice without any encouragement or pushing) to know God and through our Education to know other religions and other ways of life ie learning about Buddhism (representing Peace).

Through until today, the Catholic Education System teach and set Assignments (both within the religious curriculum and other subjects) on all religions without any degradation (of those religions); instead focussing on what some of the other religions have in common with the Catholic religion ie 'Love, Peace, Respect and similarities of what Jesus/God has taught through His Holy Scriptures and Commandments.

It is a wonderful credit to both your Husband and Self in raising your Children and instilling morals and values in your Children at the same time not controlling them as Children allowing them their free spirits.

Love to you and best wishes